A light hearted look at current threats!

[Tricky-Ricky]

Just received this from a friend, and though it quite funny, you may need to be a bit older to fully appreciate the humor though.

 

 

ALERTS TO THREATS IN EUROPE

From JOHN CLEESE

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "pi**ed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

 

Regards,

John Cleese ,

British writer, actor and tall person

 

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC

[ChrisB]

old enough

[tatooandy67]

Made me chuckle reading this in a basil fawlty voice in my head

[Ekona]

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/terrorismalert.asp

 

Ahem

[Tricky-Ricky]

Regardless of its origins or validity, I thought it was rather funny, and though others might too, I certainly haven't seen it before.

[glrnet]

Yup, thought I'd seen it before but I still smiled.

[Stutopia]

Some fairly lazy stereotypes there and made me chortle as expected

[GMballistic]

Read that before Tricky but good to read it again.

Edited November 14, 2014 by GMballistic

[Harryjax]

Very funny made me chuckle.

[Rock_Steady]

lol, I saw that on the GTOuk forum a while back. Thanks for posting this, it's brilliant!!

Edited November 14, 2014 by Rock_Steady

[ATTAK Z]

Love it