TINDER wtf?

[Daveyboy11]

You need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I have learned this, although I don't think I'm a bad looking bloke I have very low self esteem. Previous relationship didn't help but now I'm starting to be confident in myself things are starting to happen and I couldn't be happier tbh.

[pjf1985]

I think that's part of the key thing, building a friendship foundation before a relationship starts

 

This is definitely a key ingredient ^^

 

One other benefit of online dating is that you know what the other person wants before meeting them, whether it be friends, for dating or if they want a relationship from it. This certainly makes things easier. Plus you know by being on dating sites if they are single (at least they should be haha) whereas in real life its sometimes hard to tell if someone is worth chasing or not.

 

issue with online sites is you can banishing them form your possibility

with out even knowing them and then thats that its 100% about looks

 

No it's not all about looks dude, not everyone thinks that way. Plus what one person finds unattractive could be the opposite to someone else, we're all different.

[chirag1988]

I met my girlfriend over LinkedIn while I was at work - turned out we went to the same university, and I was only a year above her, we had plenty of friends in common but the 3-4 years we were at uni we never crossed paths!

 

Started small talk over LinkedIn messages about uni, etc. Found out each others interests and then exchanged numbers and arranged to meet up one evening. First meeting we stayed up until 4am just talking, talking, talking and getting to know each other.

 

Stayed friends for the next 4-5months and we both knew we liked each other but nothing happened during that time. I'd recently had my engagement broken off about 6 months previously so I wasn't really looking to jump back on the horse too soon. But after getting to know each other, I just plucked up the courage and asked if she wanted to be more than friends and here we are 27 months later going strong

 

Difference is tho if im correct your far from a fat glasses wearing bucked teethed ugly MOFO lol

 

Well firstly I didn't take my top off to impress her (not until wayyy later lol) - but in all honesty, I actually dressed however I felt comfortable, kept myself clean and tidy but at the same time I didn't put on a "front" to impress her. I think the thing is I wasn't looking for a relationship and was just happy to be in her company as a person and friend and I just sort of went with the flow. She got to know me for me rather than what was under my clothes.

 

So point is don't put yourself down about your looks - if it does affect you that much then you have all the power within yourself to make that change bro! Remember you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else and no that doesn't mean your right hand!

[Grundy]

I think I just have too high standards

[AliveBoy]

I think I just have too high standards

Or your jailbait aren't ready for a relationship

[Flex]

I met my girlfriend over LinkedIn while I was at work - turned out we went to the same university, and I was only a year above her, we had plenty of friends in common but the 3-4 years we were at uni we never crossed paths!

 

Started small talk over LinkedIn messages about uni, etc. Found out each others interests and then exchanged numbers and arranged to meet up one evening. First meeting we stayed up until 4am just talking, talking, talking and getting to know each other.

 

Stayed friends for the next 4-5months and we both knew we liked each other but nothing happened during that time. I'd recently had my engagement broken off about 6 months previously so I wasn't really looking to jump back on the horse too soon. But after getting to know each other, I just plucked up the courage and asked if she wanted to be more than friends and here we are 27 months later going strong

 

Difference is tho if im correct your far from a fat glasses wearing bucked teethed ugly MOFO lol

 

So point is don't put yourself down about your looks - if it does affect you that much then you have all the power within yourself to make that change bro! Remember you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else and no that doesn't mean your right hand!

I dont think Steve's ugly but in general most people cant do anything about their looks! Agree with everything else though.

[chirag1988]

I met my girlfriend over LinkedIn while I was at work - turned out we went to the same university, and I was only a year above her, we had plenty of friends in common but the 3-4 years we were at uni we never crossed paths!

 

Started small talk over LinkedIn messages about uni, etc. Found out each others interests and then exchanged numbers and arranged to meet up one evening. First meeting we stayed up until 4am just talking, talking, talking and getting to know each other.

 

Stayed friends for the next 4-5months and we both knew we liked each other but nothing happened during that time. I'd recently had my engagement broken off about 6 months previously so I wasn't really looking to jump back on the horse too soon. But after getting to know each other, I just plucked up the courage and asked if she wanted to be more than friends and here we are 27 months later going strong

 

Difference is tho if im correct your far from a fat glasses wearing bucked teethed ugly MOFO lol

 

So point is don't put yourself down about your looks - if it does affect you that much then you have all the power within yourself to make that change bro! Remember you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else and no that doesn't mean your right hand!

I dont think Steve's ugly but in general most people cant do anything about their looks! Agree with everything else though.

Not meaning to say that Steve is bad looking by any means but he's posted a few times about not being happy about his weight and diet. Those things are in his control and I know him and Grundy had their challenge, but not been following it to see what the outcome is. That pic he posted of me - I wasn't born like that. In fact I was skin and bones most of my life and it didn't help my confidence or self esteem. But it took a lot of dedication and focus to get there. And I didn't do it to impress the girls either. It was for my own sense of self achievement. The basis of my comment is the foundation of finding someone - be happy with yourself and who you are. Only then will the other person too

[nowhereboy]

Spot on ^

 

I have a fair bit to contribute to this thread but I'm stuck at work at the minute. I'll reply when I get home.

[mouthwash]

Money on Grundy and Stevo being single forever with that attitude.

 

This rating system you have for women on a 1 to 10 scale probably doesn't help, I can imagine you going for a night out:

 

Stevo's mate: Hey, see that girl over there?

Stevo: Yeah, the bint in yellow dress?

Stevo's mate: Yeah, her.. She's clearly a 4 right?

Stevo: Yeah, I guess so.. Maybe a 3 (chortle)

Stevo's mate: (chrotle) Well look at the bloke she's with, clearly at least a 6

Stevo: ahh yeah, that bloke is clearly a 6

Stevo's mate: See the theory is true, women are greedy, shallow, fickle and just downright gold diggers

Stevo: Yeah, I hate women........

Stevo: .... Do you want to kill some?

 

And I reckon you can replace 'Stevo's mate' with Grundy.

 

Honestly, you two sound like you're going to end up serial killing women.

[Grundy]

I'm not like that,

 

I was just trying to hold a debate on both sides here. Everyone who is commenting, is with someone.

Just trying to show people what it's like dating atm, or what it's been like for me.

 

I don't think, 'oh her over there is a 4 blah blah blah'

 

Matt will back me up,

I went to his wedding reception, met a girl, danced with her etc (And I was sober, snowflake do not say a word!!!!!) We spoke, went on a date, going great. then she stopped talking

 

I give any thing a go (Not in that sense) Just the outcomes are very similar.

[chirag1988]

Money on Grundy and Stevo being single forever with that attitude.

 

This rating system you have for women on a 1 to 10 scale probably doesn't help, I can imagine you going for a night out:

 

Stevo's mate: Hey, see that girl over there?

Stevo: Yeah, the bint in yellow dress?

Stevo's mate: Yeah, her.. She's clearly a 4 right?

Stevo: Yeah, I guess so.. Maybe a 3 (chortle)

Stevo's mate: (chrotle) Well look at the bloke she's with, clearly at least a 6

Stevo: ahh yeah, that bloke is clearly a 6

Stevo's mate: See the theory is true, women are greedy, shallow, fickle and just downright gold diggers

Stevo: Yeah, I hate women........

Stevo: .... Do you want to kill some?

 

And I reckon you can replace 'Stevo's mate' with Grundy.

 

Honestly, you two sound like you're going to end up serial killing women.

 

this just made me laugh.

 

I don't think Steve and Grundy are as bad as that. Granted they've both been stung by bad relationships, but who hasn't? Chin up guys - make sure you're on your own path to success and everything else will fall into place automatically. And there's no reward without struggle either

[StevoD]

Money on Grundy and Stevo being single forever with that attitude.

 

This rating system you have for women on a 1 to 10 scale probably doesn't help, I can imagine you going for a night out:

 

Stevo's mate: Hey, see that girl over there?

Stevo: Yeah, the bint in yellow dress?

Stevo's mate: Yeah, her.. She's clearly a 4 right?

Stevo: Yeah, I guess so.. Maybe a 3 (chortle)

Stevo's mate: (chrotle) Well look at the bloke she's with, clearly at least a 6

Stevo: ahh yeah, that bloke is clearly a 6

Stevo's mate: See the theory is true, women are greedy, shallow, fickle and just downright gold diggers

Stevo: Yeah, I hate women........

Stevo: .... Do you want to kill some?

 

And I reckon you can replace 'Stevo's mate' with Grundy.

 

Honestly, you two sound like you're going to end up serial killing women.

 

See you do make me sound like a horrible person stop trying to cover up the fact you hate everybody

Edited October 2, 2014 by StevoD

[AliveBoy]

Matt will back me up,

I went to his wedding reception, met a girl, danced with her etc (And I was sober, snowflake do not say a word!!!!!) We spoke, went on a date, going great. then she stopped talking

 

Yeah, I'll back you up, she did just stop talking. She's made an error though, she genuinely has, I'll explain off here sometime

[mouthwash]

Money on Grundy and Stevo being single forever with that attitude.

 

This rating system you have for women on a 1 to 10 scale probably doesn't help, I can imagine you going for a night out:

 

Stevo's mate: Hey, see that girl over there?

Stevo: Yeah, the bint in yellow dress?

Stevo's mate: Yeah, her.. She's clearly a 4 right?

Stevo: Yeah, I guess so.. Maybe a 3 (chortle)

Stevo's mate: (chrotle) Well look at the bloke she's with, clearly at least a 6

Stevo: ahh yeah, that bloke is clearly a 6

Stevo's mate: See the theory is true, women are greedy, shallow, fickle and just downright gold diggers

Stevo: Yeah, I hate women........

Stevo: .... Do you want to kill some?

 

And I reckon you can replace 'Stevo's mate' with Grundy.

 

Honestly, you two sound like you're going to end up serial killing women.

 

See you do make me sound like a horrible person stop trying to cover up the fact you hate everybody

 

I don't hate my girlfriend

[StevoD]

Money on Grundy and Stevo being single forever with that attitude.

 

This rating system you have for women on a 1 to 10 scale probably doesn't help, I can imagine you going for a night out:

 

Stevo's mate: Hey, see that girl over there?

Stevo: Yeah, the bint in yellow dress?

Stevo's mate: Yeah, her.. She's clearly a 4 right?

Stevo: Yeah, I guess so.. Maybe a 3 (chortle)

Stevo's mate: (chrotle) Well look at the bloke she's with, clearly at least a 6

Stevo: ahh yeah, that bloke is clearly a 6

Stevo's mate: See the theory is true, women are greedy, shallow, fickle and just downright gold diggers

Stevo: Yeah, I hate women........

Stevo: .... Do you want to kill some?

 

And I reckon you can replace 'Stevo's mate' with Grundy.

 

Honestly, you two sound like you're going to end up serial killing women.

 

See you do make me sound like a horrible person stop trying to cover up the fact you hate everybody

 

I don't hate my girlfriend

 

Touché

[rabbitstew]

Interesting thread really. Some bits I agree with others I dont. From my experience I can relate to a lot of the things here, particularly the bird trying to change the bloke, and online dating etc.

 

What I have noticed though with a lot of girls ive dated or have known at work etc, they start off all fit and sexy, then you start dating them and immediately they throw away all their sexy clothes, gain loads of weight and spend all their spare time watching telly on the sofa and dont make an effort. Had the bloke wanted a fat lazy bird he`d have gone for that in the start, so he dumps her. The bird then promptly looses loads of weight, starts dressing in sexy clothes again and finds another bloke. And repeat. Its quite funny really. Its like buying a 350z then 12 months later its turned into a 7.5 tonne lorry. If you wanted a lorry you`d have bought it in the first place. Im sure it happens the other way around too, but ive not known any of my male mates or workmates who have suddenly piled on 6 stone after starting dating someone and ive lost count of the amount of girls ive seen do this.

 

The bird trying to "change" the bloke cartoon made me laugh. I had that exact thing happen to me once. I used to workout a lot, was in very good shape, also used to use my motorbike as my main mode of transport. Without being cocky, loads of birds at my workplace fancied me and used to call me Mr Pecs. Id have a bit of a laugh & joke with them. As a result, I seemed to create the impression of being a confident, ladies type of bad boy biker bloke... and i found that in turn seemed to attract more women. In particular one girl who I started dating and I fell for big time. Anyhow after a while she told me I was getting to big & muscly and she didnt like bodybuilder sized guys so I should cut back on working out - so I did. Then she said she didnt like my hair cut, clothes etc and changed them over a period of time. Then the motorbike was apparently too dangerous so I had to get a car etc... and the list went on & on. She totally changed me. At the same time she did the fat & lazy thing and prefered slobbing it on the sofa, whilst id always be trying to get us to do outdoor things like cycling or walking. To cut a long story short, she ended up lying and cheating on me with her ex who was a proper chavy bad boy. I found out and once I confronted her about it she dumped me and moved out so end of that. I was gutted.

 

Then onto the online dating sites... After the above experience it took me ages to be confident enough to try and even meet another bird. A mate suggested joining an online dating site, so after a while I plucked up the courage to do so. It suggested possible matches who might be ideal for me and low & behold, one of those "matches" was my ex! I nearly fell off my seat. She used a picture id taken of her when she looked hot, and listed hobbies such as walking, cycling and that she enjoyed outdoor stuff etc. The only walking she ever did was from the fridge to the sofa and back. Anyway, it worked for her as she met some bloke on there and when I saw pictures of him I couldnt believe it. He looked exactly the same as how I did when we first started to date. Fit, action sort of guy, clearly did some serious working out in the gym and even had a motorbike. All the things she said she didnt like when we were together. Ive no idea if they are still together or not, but I do wonder if shes now tried to change him. I did meet up with a couple of birds from the site, but really none of them actually matched the type of person they tried to convey online. I do however know a couple of people who it has worked out well for, so it can work for some people.

[mouthwash]

[twobears]

I find your post interesting rabbitstew because I have never understood the whole 'changing your partner' thing either All I can think is that one of the people involved (man or woman, because it does sometimes happen the other way round) is simply losing interest in their partner and trying to change them is a way of trying to rekindle the interest? That's only a theory though because I've never wanted to change anyone. I don't think you really could change them unless they wanted to change anyway or they would resent you in exactly the way you have outlined, and with good cause too.

 

One last point though, why did you allow yourself to be changed to try to please someone else? I might modify some aspects of my behaviour if they were really annoying (fortunately I've never been asked to because Mr Twobears is very easy going) but I wouldn't change the essence of who I was, no matter who was asking me. Doesn't it feel unnatural to dance to someone else's tune rather than doing/being what you want?

[Grundy]

I find your post interesting rabbitstew because I have never understood the whole 'changing your partner' thing either All I can think is that one of the people involved (man or woman, because it does sometimes happen the other way round) is simply losing interest in their partner and trying to change them is a way of trying to rekindle the interest? That's only a theory though because I've never wanted to change anyone. I don't think you really could change them unless they wanted to change anyway or they would resent you in exactly the way you have outlined, and with good cause too.

 

One last point though, why did you allow yourself to be changed to try to please someone else? I might modify some aspects of my behaviour if they were really annoying (fortunately I've never been asked to because Mr Twobears is very easy going) but I wouldn't change the essence of who I was, no matter who was asking me. Doesn't it feel unnatural to dance to someone else's tune rather than doing/being what you want?

You do what you can to please the one you love (To an extent)

[twobears]

I find your post interesting rabbitstew because I have never understood the whole 'changing your partner' thing either All I can think is that one of the people involved (man or woman, because it does sometimes happen the other way round) is simply losing interest in their partner and trying to change them is a way of trying to rekindle the interest? That's only a theory though because I've never wanted to change anyone. I don't think you really could change them unless they wanted to change anyway or they would resent you in exactly the way you have outlined, and with good cause too.

 

One last point though, why did you allow yourself to be changed to try to please someone else? I might modify some aspects of my behaviour if they were really annoying (fortunately I've never been asked to because Mr Twobears is very easy going) but I wouldn't change the essence of who I was, no matter who was asking me. Doesn't it feel unnatural to dance to someone else's tune rather than doing/being what you want?

You do what you can to please the one you love (To an extent)

 

Erm, I wouldn't though. Take me or leave me is my attitude, unless I was doing something really anti social in which case I would probably be better off on my own anyway!!!

[Flex]

Guys, I was single for 5 years after my partner left me and I was gutted, lost a long time, I know all about being single oh too well.

 

All I know is there are more than one special person for us all but when you find them you will know and do everything you can to make it work but don't be a pshycho.

 

Dont judge people by past experiences but if you must then have low expectations of things working out and then when they do, you'll be even happier.

 

But do get out there and look, if you're serious about finding someone then try and find someone. Join a new club/group mix it up. It might take years but enjoy the experiences.

 

You only get one life on this sh1tty rock, so get out there and live!

[mouthwash]

Guys, I was single for 5 years after my partner left me and I was gutted, lost a long time, I know all about being single oh too well.

 

All I know is there are more than one special person for us all but when you find them you will know and do everything you can to make it work but don't be a pshycho.

 

Dont judge people by past experiences but if you must then have low expectations of things working out and then when they do, you'll be even happier.

 

But do get out there and look, if you're serious about finding someone then try and find someone. Join a new club/group mix it up. It might take years but enjoy the experiences.

 

You only get one life on this sh1tty rock, so get out there and live!

 

Flex being sensible? Who's logged into his account?

[StevoD]

He Has gone round the Swear filter tho

[Flex]

Guys, I was single for 5 years after my partner left me and I was gutted, lost a long time, I know all about being single oh too well.

 

All I know is there are more than one special person for us all but when you find them you will know and do everything you can to make it work but don't be a pshycho.

 

Dont judge people by past experiences but if you must then have low expectations of things working out and then when they do, you'll be even happier.

 

But do get out there and look, if you're serious about finding someone then try and find someone. Join a new club/group mix it up. It might take years but enjoy the experiences.

 

You only get one life on this sh1tty rock, so get out there and live!

 

Flex being sensible? Who's logged into his account?

 

Underneath this hunk of male god there pounds a heart with feelings and love, sometimes I spread the love

[mouthwash]

He Has gone round the Swear filter tho

 

 

 

:lol: