ioneabee Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 1. What a beautiful day for a run! 2. This is SH!TE. 3. Well, five miles is only two and half miles each way, which is basically two miles each way, so I’m really only running four miles. That’s not too far. 4. It’s starting to feel far. 5. How long have I been running? A year? 6. SIX MINUTES?! 7. I can barely remember what my life was like before I started this run. 8. OK, concentrate. There are still four-plus miles to go. 9. But who counts the first and last mile? This is pretty much an easy three miler. 10. Oh, @*!#! A fellow jogger! 11. Should I wave? 12. I’m totally gonna wave. 13. OOOK, they didn’t wave back. Never doing that again. 14. Just keep running, no one saw. Except that old guy who may or may not be averting his eyes. 15. Man, I think I’m hitting that “second wind†thing my gym coach was talking about. 16. Wait, never mind. I’ve been running down a decline. 17. If I leap to avoid dog @*!#, does that make me a CrossFit athlete? 18. What the heck is CrossFit anyway? 19. Mental reminder: Google CrossFit when I get home. 20. If I ever get home. 21. If I had a heart attack right now, I wonder who would find my body. 22. OMG, I hope I never find a dead body. Joggers always find dead bodies. 23. Bodies. Body. Bod-ay. Runnin’ all day, no one can catch … may. 24. OK, I must be halfway done by now. 25. What?! Only two miles in? 26. Alright, stay focused. What am I going to eat when I get home? 27. I’m running five miles so I should probably eat five slices of pizza. 28. Or I could buy one pizza and ask them to cut it into five slices. 29. I should probably get a side salad too. 30. … 31. **** the salad actually. 32. Man, what are these people doing in front of me? Walking?! 33. Is this a contest to see who’s the worst at walking? Because you are both champions in my heart. 34. Maybe if I pound my feet on the ground they’ll hear me coming and let me pass. 35. Oh, God. They didn’t turn around and now I’m right behind them. They’re going to think they’re getting mugged by the world’s sweatiest criminal. 36. You know what? Now seems like a good time to run in the street. 37. * Jumps off curb * Parkour! 38. Hi hi hi please don’t hit me with your car. 39. Pedestrian pedestrianizing over here, let me cross. 40. Thank you, Mr. Blue Honda. I’m trying to smile at you but it probably looks like I’m having a stroke. 41. Actually, I wonder what I look like right now. 42. * Checks out reflection in shop window * Yeesh. 43. Is that what I look like when I run? What am I, a newborn deer with a drinking problem? 44. Whatever, I must be almost done by now. 45. Heck yes. Three miles down, two to go. It’s all downhill from here. 46. Except for that very real uphill in front of me. God damnit. 47. Wait, is that… Is that… 48. A DOG! 49. Hi dog! You are so cute. You are now my mascot. I will finish this run for you, pup. 50. And — hello — what do we have here? Your human is pretty cute too. 51. Hope you like drunk fawns, Cute Human. 52. Watch my bambi ass prance up this hill. 53. Holy @*!#, prancing is exhausting. I am exhausted. 54. Honestly, I don’t even like running. 55. Why do I even run? 56. Why does anyone even run? 57. Why are we even alive? 58. OK, let’s not go down that road. 59. Focus. Focus on that sweet, delicious ‘za waiting at the finish line, calling your name with its cheesy breath. 60. Wait, less than one mile to go? I am KILLING this run. 61. I AM THE SWIFTEST GOD OF ALL TWO-LEGGED CREATURES. 62. YES, including ostriches. 63. Honestly, I should sign up for a marathon. 64. What is it, like 30 miles? 65. That’s just 15 miles each way, which is practically 10, and 10 is twice five, and I can run five miles EASY. 66. That’s it, I’m doing it. Thirty miles. 67. Thirty-mile marathon…30-mile marathon…30 Rock marathon. 68. On second thought, I’ll probably just binge-watch every episode of 30 Rock. That takes a lot of dedication and I will be winded from laughing so hard. 69. But I could probably do a marathon IF I wanted. 70. OK, almost home. Should I shower first and order pizza or order pizza and shower before it shows up? 71. Yep, definitely ordering first. I earned that @*!#. 72. Oh, no. Oh god no. Another runner. Should I wave? 73. No, be strong! Do not get burned again. 74. OMG, SHE waved first! Hello! Yes! We are both runners! Look at us run! 75. I guess running’s not so bad. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I only get time to run in the evenings. . here is my thought pattern 1. What a beautiful day for a run! 2. Right, time for a glass of wine. Thats as far as I get 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Well after just doing my 45 minute high intensity weight lifting session at home all I'm going to say is there is no way I'd leave the house to exercise. Everything aches and I've only just stopped sweating after a shower ~ stuff inflicting that on the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 1. What a beautiful day for a run 2. But a better day for a drive 3. Door slams 4. Turbo spooling 5. Noise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipar69 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I started running outside for the first time about four months ago. I'm 45 and always been quite active, but I felt that I was getting unfit and out of shape. The route I do is about 4 miles three times a week before work. - I know that's not a lot but it seems to be doing me good - I feel a lot fitter and better about myself for doing it. The first few times, I couldn't get round and felt like crap. I felt a real sense of achievement the first time I made it round the whole route. I leave the house at about 5.45 which was a lot easier when it was lighter, but now it's dark it's not so good. I'm determined to stick with it though and I find it makes me feel energised for the day ahead. I get what you mean about the thought process though - mine starts off with - What am I doing - I really should be in bed - Not sure if I'm gonna make it today - Nearly there...Not far now....to....Great - I did it!! I find listening to music really helps. Don't think I'll ever end up running huge distances but it's had a positive impact on me both physically and mentally. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 get an ipod you think to much while running 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 (edited) If that isn't copied you sir have made my day! Every last word. I've done 3 half marathons now, 2 hellrunner and a tough mudder. Race day ......fine. Every sodding training run EVER.....see above. I Just do the races now. Stuff the training. Edited September 16, 2014 by Ricey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neo Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 made me lol this morning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ioneabee Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 If that isn't copied you sir have made my day! Every last word. I've done 3 half marathons now, 2 hellrunner and a tough mudder. Race day ......fine. Every sodding training run EVER.....see above. I Just do the races now. Stuff the training. nah - I cheated - but its just so very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhackyWill Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350zedd Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Talk about Hyper....your mind appears to be working faster than your legs here. If that lots really going through your head, then you need to CHILL OUT big time!! ......otherwise you wont see 50! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ioneabee Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Talk about Hyper....your mind appears to be working faster than your legs here. If that lots really going through your head, then you need to CHILL OUT big time!! ......otherwise you wont see 50! only a year and 2 days to go - as you insist on keep reminding me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350zedd Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 If your passing anytime, drop in and we can sort you a massage or reiki session at mates rates......then you WILL feel chilled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.