Harryjax Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes. Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... Fifty Sheds Of Grey We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a wall... but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed. She stood before me, trembling in my shed. "I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me." So I took her to McDonalds. She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot. Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though. "Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly. "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred. "Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof." "I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished." So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend. "Harder!" she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. "Harder!" "Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?" I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat. "Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos. "I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt. "Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench. "Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense." "Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks." She nodded. "Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay. "Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!" "Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up. "Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamamakazii Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 haha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chubbster Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 :lol: Very good. I've actually got 50 Shades of Grey. In my hair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humpy Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) Got my old man this in book form and it was called ' 50 sheds of grey ' made me chuckle anyway Edit* just noticed you put this in your first paragraph - doh Edited September 27, 2013 by Humpy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik54 Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gsexr Posted September 27, 2013 Share Posted September 27, 2013 quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harryjax Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 I think your confusing it with 50 shades of grey. Was it a good read? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.