The Bounty Bar Kid Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 With winter approaching here is advice for driving in icy conditions WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders. 1-7 for men... So so true! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Obviously not funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronzee Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Lol, maybe a bit too close to the bone for on the forum. :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chubby Ninja Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 hahaha thats brilliant. so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrumbMC Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harryjax Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FUG Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Tomorrows commute should be fun... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhackyWill Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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