4RE Leather Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 (edited) lack of Virgins is most upsetting. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut this April from 72 to only 40. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdulla Bul Bul Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth". Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, England in which he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained, "We sympathise with our workers' concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up". Spokesmen for the union in Newcastle, Bradford, Middlesbrough, Glasgow and all Australia stated that they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these areas anyway. Apparently, the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen now on going to paradise. Edited December 22, 2012 by 4RE Leather 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kev T Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 LOL ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Very long drawn out intro to an old joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4RE Leather Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 (edited) Very long drawn out intro to an old joke And you just had to be the one to say so!!! Edited December 23, 2012 by 4RE Leather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Very long drawn out intro to an old joke And you just had to be the one to say so!!! You'd have wondered why if he hadn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 SMD is apparently the humour oracle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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