bronzee Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Now, if you alter this to husband/bf/etc, you got it right!!!! I have a little Sat-Nav It sits there in my car A Sat-Nav is a driver's friend It tells you where you are I have a little Sat-Nav I've had it all my life It’s better than the normal ones My Sat-Nav is my wife It gives me full instructions Especially how to drive "It's thirty miles an hour", it says "You're doing thirty five" It tells me when to stop and start And when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever Safe to overtake It tells me when a light is red And when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively Just when to intervene It lists the vehicles just in front And all those to the rear And taking this into account It specifies my gear. I'm sure no other driver Has so helpful a device For when we leave and lock the car It still gives its advice It fills me up with counseling Each journey's pretty fraught So why don't I exchange it And get a quieter sort? Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed, It washes all my shirts and things And - keeps me warm in bed! Despite all these advantages And my tendency to scoff, I do wish that once in a while I could turn the damned thing off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Mine even slaps me when I go over hump backed bridges in Wales too fast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chubby Ninja Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 thats pretty good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Not allowed one. According to the police I'm a threat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Not allowed one. According to the police I'm a threat. A satnav or a woman? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I have a little sat nav, It's doing in my head, So I drove off a bridge, And now my sat nave's dead! -OR- I have a little sat nab, She moans and whines all day, So I fitted an ejector seat, And sent her on her way I could go on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I have a little sat nav, It's doing in my head, So I drove off a bridge, And now my sat nave's dead! -OR- I have a little sat nab, She moans and whines all day, So I fitted an ejector seat, And sent her on her way I could go on.... There was a young man called Cragus, He has often offered to tea-bag us He once had a Zed But knocked that on the head He will probly end up with a Brabus... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Not allowed one. According to the police I'm a threat. A satnav or a woman? A woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I have a little sat nav, It's doing in my head, So I drove off a bridge, And now my sat nave's dead! -OR- I have a little sat nab, She moans and whines all day, So I fitted an ejector seat, And sent her on her way I could go on.... There was a young man called Cragus, He has often offered to tea-bag us He once had a Zed But knocked that on the head He will probly end up with a Brabus... SpursMadDave, removed the seat To make his pushbike lighter, Now every time he sits down, He takes it up the shite-er! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 just at the lot of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I have a little sat nav, It's doing in my head, So I drove off a bridge, And now my sat nave's dead! -OR- I have a little sat nab, She moans and whines all day, So I fitted an ejector seat, And sent her on her way I could go on.... There was a young man called Cragus, He has often offered to tea-bag us He once had a Zed But knocked that on the head He will probly end up with a Brabus... SpursMadDave, removed the seat To make his pushbike lighter, Now every time he sits down, He takes it up the shite-er! I told you before I don't want to buy your bike, or your chair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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