Zugara Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012   The Defective Parrot  A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me. !' 'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird' 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?' 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers.' 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?' 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.' The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!' The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.' 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy. 'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.' 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?' 'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?' 'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.' Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?' DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'   If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will370z Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 nice one, i know someone who will love that joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marzman Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 That made me laugh! ...the missus called me a jerk though for telling it to her and said it wasnt funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zugara Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 That made me laugh! ...the missus called me a jerk though for telling it to her and said it wasnt funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 UPS not been to your place then? That made me laugh! ...the missus called me a jerk though for telling it to her and said it wasnt funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Nice one Paul UPS must stand for.... Unfortunate Parrot Stiffie I will get my coat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docwra Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 That made me laugh! ...the missus called me a jerk though for telling it to her and said it wasnt funny. Bit close to home maybe?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrumbMC Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I actually laughed my ass off sitting at my PC then. that hasn't happened for a while. brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMANALEX Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutley88 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humpy Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Nice one Paul UPS must stand for.... Unfortunate Parrot Stiffie I will get my coat Nice one Dave Good one Zug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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