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A Joke for the Scots


ATTAK Z

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An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital.

 

At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:

 

Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,

Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!

Aboon them a' ye tak your place,

painch tripe or thairm:

Weel are ye wordy o' a grace

as lang's my arm.

 

 

The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, and immediately the patient launches into:

 

Some hae meat, and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it,

But we hae meat and we can eat,

And sae the Lord be thankit.

 

 

This continues with the next patient:

 

Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,

O what a panic's in thy breastie!

Thou need na start awa sae hasty,

wi' bickering brattle.

I wad be laith to run and chase thee,

wi' murdering prattle!"

 

 

"Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."

 

"Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

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Very apt for this time of year too!

 

I'm sure a few will be listening to Auld Lang Syne tonight.

 

 

Listening!!!!!

 

I will be :band: along with every body else, just heading up to the shire shortly and then into the toon :drunk::drunk::drunk:

 

What you and Jayne up to Stew?

 

Alex. :)

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Ooooocha! Where you off to then Alex? Night at the 'Leaf?

 

Well, we'll either be looking at the fireballs at Stonehaven or staying in!

 

I'm working days this weekend so very early morning tomorrow and it'll be a busy day too! :dry:

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Ooooocha! Where you off to then Alex? Night at the 'Leaf?

 

Well, we'll either be looking at the fireballs at Stonehaven or staying in!

 

I'm working days this weekend so very early morning tomorrow and it'll be a busy day too! :dry:

 

Probably start at the "Leaf" and finish at the "Leaf" with the inbetween bit in the toon probably best forgotten. Just my kind of night. :lol::lol::lol:

 

Shame that you are working tomorrow Stew but I guess that it pays the bills mate, and the other consolation is that you are not gonna wake up very ill and hung over like most of us. :headhurt::surrender:

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Ooooocha! Where you off to then Alex? Night at the 'Leaf?

 

Well, we'll either be looking at the fireballs at Stonehaven or staying in!

 

I'm working days this weekend so very early morning tomorrow and it'll be a busy day too! :dry:

 

Probably start at the "Leaf" and finish at the "Leaf" with the inbetween bit in the toon probably best forgotten. Just my kind of night. :lol::lol::lol:

 

Shame that you are working tomorrow Stew but I guess that it pays the bills mate, and the other consolation is that you are not gonna wake up very ill and hung over like most of us. :headhurt::surrender:

 

It'll be a sore one for you! Haha!

 

Well if you fancy first footing my office feel free! All the black coffee you can drink!

 

Have a good night and say hello to Mr Bell from Jayne and myself.

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