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A simple story.....


Ricey

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Woman and a Man got married at 19 & 20 respectively. They are from old school working class backgrounds, have the values of working hard, preparing for the future, family comes first, last and in the middle.

 

They go on to have 3 children who they bring up with the same values and move out to the countryside into a house that will serve as the family home for the next 30 odd years. They drink little, don't smoke, eat only fresh and wholesome food.

 

The kids grow up and with these value avoid the possession orientated, console/computer, credit addicted society in which most of us fall into and are taught to enjoy life by playing with friends, doing things in the outdoors, playing with each other and generally turn out to be well balanced, normal people.

 

The family operate with the values that you find someone you love, get married, build a home, have children and pass these values on - you prepare for your future and the future of your family, pay your bills and most of all are happy together. You work through the thick and enjoy the thin together with love and happiness.

 

They spend frugally and always prepare for the worst so when the man after many years of shift work realises that he's not seen his wife for 3 days as they're passing each other with the shifts he walks into work where he has worked up from the bottom as a fitter turner to have a very well paid job and hands his notice in and walks out.

 

With 3 young children, mortgage and bills/cars to run he comes home with a heavy heart and explains what he's done to his wife - his wifes response was 'I'd best put the kettle on then'.

 

They get to 54 and 53 years of age and decide its time to reap the rewards of this hardworking, careful lifestyle, they have married off their daughters and paid (outright) for their weddings and sent their son through university (outright) and all their children have now moved out. There roles have been fulfilled and now they can look forward to retirement which they have worked and prepared all their lives for. Grandchildren are coming out yearly and they can now start the grandparenting they were made for.

 

18 months after they retire the woman is diagnosed with a rare cancer. Its caught and treated with an all clear following a severe course of chemotherapy. The scans continue to show all clear for another 6 months and their youngest daughter gives birth to their 4th grandchild in May 2011.

 

In June 2011 it is discovered that the cancer was back and it was back everywhere, bowels, lungs, kidneys, lungs. There was no hope but they fight with chemotherapy just to try and give any time they can with their family right to the bitter end.

 

At 2.30pm on the 15th December 2011 - the woman died peacefully in a hospice. She leaves a husband who has been by her side for over 35 years, 3 children, 2 son in laws, both parents, a mother in law, a sister in law, a sister..........and a nephew devastated.

 

She was a woman who literally never brought harm, sadness or anything other than love to anyone she met.

 

We take life so much for granted and we sometimes forget - fate doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care who you are and what you have done.

 

This isn't a post wanting your sympathy - its a reminder that a week before xmas when your probably stressed, worried about money, having the kids driving you up the wall.........enjoy life whatever you are doing and try and live for today. Gill had 55 years of absolute love and happiness but it should have been so much more - its cruel and unfair that it isn't but that was what fate had in store.

 

RIP Gill Hayes - 15/12/2011

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Paul, my thoughts are with you all. Theres no words which make people feel better in these occassions. I'm gutted for you and your family mate. We lost an aunt who was young to cancer. She fought and fought and eventually could no more. It has taken a while for things to be relatively normal again.

 

Just remember all the great times you shared and keep lots of family around you throughout this time of the year...

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Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. Have myself lost my father when he was only in his mid fifties in the first year of retirement and my brother to a motorbike accident. I do hope that with this and each passing Christmas your family will remember her wonderful life and it brings you closer together, reminding you of the importance of family. Sounds like she would really want that.

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Thoughts are with you Paul. It's a bloody awful disease - it doesn't discriminate.

One of my ex's died just a few weeks ago from a brain tumour. I hadn't seen her in years and our break up wasn't the best, so i didn't even know she was ill, but it brought back a lot of memories - good and bad but i'll always try to remember her with a smile. Turns out that the tumours (yes, multiple) were found just weeks after she had been given the all clear. She had already went through the masectomy, recontruction and chemotherapy. All at 38 years young.

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Thanks for the kind words all.

 

I can't really explain what an amazing family these people are. They're a family that you simply don't see any more.

 

They are genuniely a couple that instill the belief in me that marriage actually does mean something and can survive the test of time.

 

In 29 years I've never seen or heard them have a crossed word. Suppose all the grandchildren will be a blessing to my uncle to keep him busy.

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Sorry to hear that bud

 

If the world was full of more people like her and families like hers it would be a much better place to be. These family values u mentioned are fading in today's society.

 

Gives a stark reminder of the things that matter in life, and hopefully it will help u guys put ur lives into perspective and help raise families in which these values continue. All the best mate

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