Ricey Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 This cropped upon on facebook when someone was reminiscent about working for this company......presumably I need to be all diplomatic and not name them so lets say they are one of the largest and most irritating aggregator websites in the UK (and THE worst employer in the UK).........the bogs were getting blocked so the Operations Director sent this email out (years and years ago) Yesterday there was a flood which luckily only damaged some ceiling tiles in the downstairs loos and messed up the wall paint. It could potentially have damaged expensive computer equipment and the systems our business relies on. The flood (of clean water from cistern) happened due to a blocked toilet so please follow these simple instructions to avoid it happening again. 1/ From time to time we all need to use a lot of toilet paper. On these occaisions use a little paper then flush, then use some more and flush. This can be repeated as many times as you need. 2/ Do not flush anything apart from toilet paper (a little at a time) or something which has been eaten first. For those considering asking 'how much is a little paper', lets call it 12 sheets. Any further queries, don't hesitate to ask. Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 He may aswell go wipe their arses for them......all he is good for if his spelling is anything to go by! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 When I was a trainee manager for Sainsburys many moons ago, I was working at Eltham branch and we got a call to go to Woolwich branch as there had been an 'incident' On arriving at Woolwich store which is underneath a multi-storey car park we were told that the car park toilets had overflowed and the store had been closed... we were then given gloves and my afternoon was spent picking out frozen jobbies from inbetween bags of frozen peas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 When I was a trainee manager for Sainsburys many moons ago, I was working at Eltham branch and we got a call to go to Woolwich branch as there had been an 'incident' On arriving at Woolwich store which is underneath a multi-storey car park we were told that the car park toilets had overflowed and the store had been closed... we were then given gloves and my afternoon was spent picking out frozen jobbies from inbetween bags of frozen peas You have got to be pulling my pisser! They made you manhandle $hit????? I would of told them to bolt or as 'trainee manager' told the scummy workers to do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Hmmm perhaps I should pass this on to my Boss, he always using the "engine room" (downstairs) toilet instead of the one on the "poop deck" (1st floor) Its either a little brown fish...... or a friggin whale left behind. Fecker does it on purpose when he knows we have visitors coming to the office Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 We had a lady that wasn't always of the gonadless variety if you catch my drift. Apparently 1 day it laid a log so large that the Facilities bloke had to get a pair of garden shears to snip it up............I didn't believe it but its been verified by several parties! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 As a plumber, I can confirm that the ladies toilets are always a much worse place to be than the gents. Much, much worse. Although nothing quite beats the taste of a misplaced ****-crystal when jetting urinal pipework Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoogyRev Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 We have one of these now....... you can record your own message http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/novelty-toilet-paper-holder.html?gclid=CNq78LP-9qcCFQRP4QodE1LxbA I wont repeat the messages, but I am sure you can guess how they went Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 On pretty much every ship Ive ever worked on there is a sign on the toilets saying "for supplied toilet paper only" or similar. And you wouldnt believe some of the items we pulled out of the toilets and sewage tank over the years. Especially on the ferries I was on...... *shudders at the memories* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 When I was a trainee manager for Sainsburys many moons ago, I was working at Eltham branch and we got a call to go to Woolwich branch as there had been an 'incident' On arriving at Woolwich store which is underneath a multi-storey car park we were told that the car park toilets had overflowed and the store had been closed... we were then given gloves and my afternoon was spent picking out frozen jobbies from inbetween bags of frozen peas You have got to be pulling my pisser! They made you manhandle $hit????? I would of told them to bolt or as 'trainee manager' told the scummy workers to do it! This was a long time ago, mid eighties.... no such thing as H&S or such then My office is right next to the ladies and you can hear everything when it is quiet.... and I mean EVERYTHING Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The G Man Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Another salty seadog one, on joining a survey ship in Hull many noons ago, either the Busentaur (sp) or the Pholas, can't remember which, there was an immediate foul stench on boarding, one of the jobby stench variety A passing steward, who was particularly light on his loafers, remarked, after a large sniff of the foul smelling "air" remarked, "Hmmm the smell of lurrrrv!" cabin remained locked the whole length of the cruise when off duty!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Too early for this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 lets call it 12 sheets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilp Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 As a plumber, I can confirm that the ladies toilets are always a much worse place to be than the gents. Much, much worse. Although nothing quite beats the taste of a misplaced ****-crystal when jetting urinal pipework I can +1 that! It's usually sanitary towels or excrete on the Walls due to the hovering involved. We had a urinal which was blocked. Turns out the guy had been pinching the one eyed snake at work and it solidified in the trap. We work for the banks doing service engineering. We used to do the Scottish court services buildings aswell. Had to wear kevlar beaded gloves when working incase or needles etc. The things found in those toilets was unbelievable. One of the bank call centres had one women who regularly shat up the Walls. They ended up putting a sign in and out sheet that another colleague had to sign to verify that the toilets were left clean. Eventually the culprit was found and disciplined. iPhone typo fixed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 As a plumber, I can confirm that the ladies toilets are always a much worse place to be than the gents. Much, much worse. Although nothing quite beats the taste of a misplaced ****-crystal when jetting urinal pipework I can +1 that! It's usually sanitary towels or excrete on the Walls due to the hovering involved. Weeks have a urinal which was blocked. Turns out the guy had been pinching the one eyed snake at work and it solidified in the trap. We work for the banks doing service engineering. We used to do the Scottish court services buildings aswell. Had to wear kevlar beaded gloves when working incase or needles etc. The things found in those toilets was unbelievable. One of the bank call centres had one women who regularly shat up the Walls. They ended up putting a sign in and out sheet that another colleague had to sign to verify that the toilets were left clean. Eventually the culprit was found and disciplined. thats rank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350 Russ Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 As a plumber, I can confirm that the ladies toilets are always a much worse place to be than the gents. Much, much worse. Although nothing quite beats the taste of a misplaced ****-crystal when jetting urinal pipework im a plumber too and ive got to agree there, when there is a saniflow on the back of a female toilet that gets blocked it is the nastiest thing i have ever seen! i honestly think i dont get paid enough for dealing with that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 As a plumber, I can confirm that the ladies toilets are always a much worse place to be than the gents. Much, much worse. Although nothing quite beats the taste of a misplaced ****-crystal when jetting urinal pipework I can +1 that! It's usually sanitary towels or excrete on the Walls due to the hovering involved. We had a urinal which was blocked. Turns out the guy had been pinching the one eyed snake at work and it solidified in the trap. We work for the banks doing service engineering. We used to do the Scottish court services buildings aswell. Had to wear kevlar beaded gloves when working incase or needles etc. The things found in those toilets was unbelievable. One of the bank call centres had one women who regularly shat up the Walls. They ended up putting a sign in and out sheet that another colleague had to sign to verify that the toilets were left clean. Eventually the culprit was found and disciplined. iPhone typo fixed Yip - I've worked for 3 companies (all office environments) and in all 3 there has been a 'phantom shitter' in the girls toilets whereby the toilets had to be monitored to find out who did it. Girls are grim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 We had a phantom brown Mr Whippy deliverer at a Warehouse I worked in down in Taunton.... also at the same place a Fork Lift Truck driver emptied his bowels into his Y Fronts and left them on the truck.... thing was he was about 30-35 stone so it wasn't too hard to work out who's they were Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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