Ricey Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Freedom of speech my jacksie........... Dear TripAdvisor Member, Thank you for your review. We have opted not to publish your review as it does not meet our guidelines for traveller reviews. We have listed the guidelines below; you may also view them at http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/pages/userrev_rules.html. *Relevant to other travellers We are not a forum for general political, ethical or religious opinions. You are welcome to resubmit a review that meets our guidelines at any time. The original text of your review is included below for your convenience. Best regards, TripAdvisor Support Team [123] ------original review------- Subject: Blau Varadero Hotel Cuba Location: Varadero, Cuba, Caribbean, North America Title: Chavalicious ID#: 90570452 I honestly can't even work out how to try and to get an understanding over to you in writing about this hotel........but before we start - our profile - Both 28, typical Blairs Britain working class family who've eeked up to lower middle class, white collar, reasonable income, very moderate drinkers, appreciate decent food but would wolf a McDonalds if backed into a corner. Before the onslaught begins I thought I would make it clear - the staff work their backsides off, Mr Inglesias answers all his critics on here and I respect that, it is not the hotels fault that food in cuba is difficult to come by the 'finest' produce - its a commie state don't forget - government control everything. Generally they are only catering for what the masses demand. So if you happen to be someone who has previously enjoyed a trip to Butlins/Pointins/Benidorm (insert any other destination that chavs with a bit of dough in their pocket used to go to)....you'll love the gaff. - Get hammered all day, - Hammered all night, - Listen to vaccous entertainment in the giant echo chamber that is the hotel - Listen to a sax banging out Careless Whisper until your ears bleed and you actually pray for death or at least a severe accident where you will be hospitalised - Listen to endless x factor garbage all day long at the pool - Eat food that is grim beyond almost all comparable belief! I mean seriously anyone one here who can with any sembelence of a straight face say the food is nice literally needs to see a doctor or good psychologist urgently (the posh restaurant is VERY nice though so my argument about food supplies actually doesn't stand up.) - Go on endless generic excursions to various tourist traps to be harrassed to buy crap. - Balance on a 10ft wide spit of beach with 150 other people - End your holiday in an airport which is about as organised as a race riot in Oldham. I would literally rather eat a tapeworm than visit this hotel again.........3 stars might seem generous given my review but the bottom line is this holiday cost a fortune and was some where between staying in Butlins and a chav palace in Benidorm. Why in the hell would you fly 9 hours to go to a place that could LITERALLY be any other generic resort in the world that caters for the international vermin that is the great British public. If you want culture - go somewhere else as your basically trapped on a spit of land thats been specifically designed to cater for the invading European/Yank hordes(if you think swimming with a dolphin thats been gripped out of the Ocean and trapped in a 100 meter pool is culture my point is probably already lost on you). Shame really because its no ones fault in particular - the hotel caters for its clientele - chavvy, booze loving, tasteless, red raw sunburned, chain smoking, hot dog eating detritus of human society who save hard all year to drag their weary fat behinds away for a fortnight to let it all hang out........and believe me.........hang out it does. Recommended alternative destination - Stalag 17. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic84 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 brill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetSet Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 A masterpiece Not too sure about the Tapeworm though Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 sounds like a top place; i think i migh tgo next year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Not too sure about the Tapeworm though Pete best form of weight lose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racinggreen Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Sounds good may go there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 And in the words of Monty Python....... "crisps and the accordionist plays 'Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner'." And spending four days on the tarmac at Luton airport on a five-day package tour with nothing to eat but dried BEA-type sandwiches and you can't even get a drink of Watney's Red Barrel because you're still in England and the bloody bar closes every time you're thirsty and there's nowhere to sleep and the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the plastic ash-trays and they keep telling you it'll only be another hour although your plane is still in Iceland and has to take some Swedes to Yugoslavia before it can load you up at 3 a.m. in the bloody morning and you sit on the tarmac till six because of "unforeseen difficulties", i.e. the permanent strike of Air Traffic Control in Paris - and nobody can go to the lavatory until you take off at 8, and when you get to Malaga airport everybody's swallowing "enterovioform" and queuing for the toilets and queuing for the armed customs officers, and queuing for the bloody bus that isn't there to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet been finished. And when you finally get to the half-built Algerian ruin called the Hotel del Sol by paying half your holiday money to a licensed bandit in a taxi you find there's no water in the pool, there's no water in the taps, there's no water in the bog and there's only a bleeding lizard in the bidet. And half the rooms are double booked and you can't sleep anyway because of the permanent twenty-four-hour drilling of the foundations of the hotel next door - and you're plagues by appalling apprentice chemists from Ealing pretending to be hippies, and middle-class stockbrokers' wives busily buying identical holiday villas in suburban development plots just like Esher, in case the Labour government gets in again, and fat American matrons with sloppy-buttocks and Hawaiian-patterned ski pants looking for any mulatto male who can keep it up long enough when they finally let it all flop out. And the Spanish Tourist Board promises you that the raging cholera epidemic is merely a case of mild Spanish tummy, like the previous outbreak of Spanish tummy in 1660 which killed half London and decimated Europe - and meanwhile the bloody Guardia are busy arresting sixteen-year-olds for kissing in the streets and shooting anyone under nineteen who doesn't like Franco. And then on the last day in the airport lounge everyone's comparing sunburns, drinking Nasty Spumante, buying cartons of duty free "cigarillos" and using up their last pesetas on horrid dolls in Spanish National costume and awful straw donkeys and bullfight posters with your name on "Ordoney, El Cordobes and Brian Pules of Norwich" and 3-D pictures of the Pope and Kennedy and Franco, and everybody's talking about coming again next year and you swear you never will although there you are tumbling bleary-eyed out of a tourist-tight antique Iberian airplane..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik54 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 good effort - I'd re submit a more censored version and just give them a sh*te star rating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I think the Stalag 17 reference may have been the straw that broke the camels back, you had me in stitches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 good effort - I'd re submit a more censored version and just give them a sh*te star rating I might just redo it completely with a really obviously sarcastic review but with no bits they can possibly reject.....and a worse rating for good measure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 That's Cuba off the 'Places to visit' list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daryl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 We were going to go there end of last year,but couldnt get the time off work,so went Thailand,sounds like we had a lucky escape! lol Awesome reviews! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 We were going to go there end of last year,but couldnt get the time off work,so went Thailand,sounds like we had a lucky escape! lolAwesome reviews! i've done Thailand was beyond awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daryl Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 When i get some time,il upload some of the photo's. Couldnt believe it really. We had 2 nights in Bangkok,and 8 nights in the Sheraton on Krabi beach,just amazing,best holiday ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 i've been to bournemouth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 To be honest it sounds like any other hotel / package holiday / all inclusive type place, all are packed to the rafters with people who's idea of a good holiday is booze, noise, pool etc which is why we now only go to private villas and go self catering, cheap local shops for breakfast diy and then eat out every night, works out the same as all inclusive garbage! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Should have gone to Sandals next door. I was there a month ago and here's my letter of complaint which is being "investigated": To Customer Services Airport It was very difiicult and stressful to locate the Rep at the airport. It took about 10 minutes as she wasn't holding up any placard or making herself known in any way. We only located her by looking over her shoulder on a sheet that said "Captivating Cuba" and seeing our names on there. If we hadn't done this I imagine we'd still be there. There was nothing identifying her as the "Best At Cuba" Rep. She then took us outside to, we thought, put us in a taxi to Sandals. She proceeded to speak to a man who rushed off and we were left alone for 10 minutes not having a clue what was going on as the Rep disappeared after speaking to him never to be seen again. I eventually went looking for the man and found him and he said something in Spanish I didn't understand. After a few more minutes a taxi turned up and we got inside. Taxi The taxi had 5 warning lights including brakes, airbags, engine management lit on the dashboard and smelled of petrol when accelerating and rubber when decellerating. The rear suspension was on the verge of collapse so the journey was as stressful and uncomfortable as could be possible. The promised 90 mnute journey was well over 2 hours. Check-In After the long flight, poor service at the airport and the difficult taxi transfer we were looking forward to the "personalized welcome and private express check-in" we would get as Concierge guests. Unfortunately nothing of the sort happened as we waited behind a coach party for about 20 minutes to be checked-in. The welcome was curt and brief and frankly, pathetic. After check-in we we told a bell-boy would be there to collect our bags but nobody came so we angrily trudged off to try and find our room. This was impossible given the size of the complex and the near-darkness of the whole site. So we had to walk back to reception with our bags and join in with another coach party who were loading their bags on to a golf buggy. We were then led around the site with 15 or so another people by a man who would shout and point at blocks of buildings when we shouted out our room numbers. Personal and private? No. Food The food was a terrible standard throughout. A combination of cold, stale, under-ripe, over-ripe, over-cooked, under-cooked, watery, unseasoned, unavailable rubbish. It would take me a day to list all the faults. The "a-la carte" restuarants were pretensious in the extreme by attempting silver-service and then serving up the same food that I'd seen 10 hours before at breakfast. Las Morlas was so cold people were leaving the night we went or wearing coats and in the El Caribe the waiter siad I couldn't leave until I'd paid for a rubbish bottle of wine (I thought this was all-inclusive?) until I pointed out that their own menu said "wine ordered will be charged to the room". Drink All the cocktails were made with cheap imitation spirits which had been watered down. They were made badly and often the staff didn't have basic ingredients (mint/cream) to make popular drinks such as a Mohito or White Russian. The glasses were generally dirty. At the beach bar, beer was served in plastic tumblers which held about 4 fluid ounces so you had to call the bar man over every 5 minutes to get a refill. Or get your own. Coffee The coffee was diabolical and tasted like burnt electrical cable. I could just get it down but my girlfriend couldn't. The coffee served at breakfast at the table was the worst and when we asked for fresh coffee from the machine we were made to feel like we were putting people out. On lots of days the various coffee machines around the complex didn't work. Wi-Fi Having wi-fi is a pre-requisite for all of our holidays for business reasons. Unfortunately the advertised wi-fi didn't work despite trying 4 different w-fi capable devices every day (laptop, Blackberry and 2 smart phones) in the lobby. The internet room did not open until 09:00 but this was too late as I needed it at 03:00 every morning when the London Stock Market opened. Gym Another pre-requisite. Unfortunately after visiting and finding half the equipment we wanted to use was broken, (step machine and bike) we didn't return. Tennis Another pre-requisite. However, only used once as the person who gave us the useless raqcuets and worn out tennis balls told us to avoid areas of the court (which were so worn they had gone through to the black backing) as they were dangerous. Difficult to have a relaxing game of tennis when you have to watch where you are stepping Dangerous Walkways It rained on a few days. The tiled areas around the main eating/shopping area became like an ice rink. Room The room was in a nice position away from the noisy central area but several things let it down. There was a mound of cigarette butts in window box outside bathroom which stayed there for the entire 6 days. We couldn't open any external blinds to let light in so it was like a prison. The fan in the toilet stayed on continuously unless we opened the door to the balcony?! As the weather was bad it was quite cold but there was no way of heating our room and there was no offer of additional blankets etc. The television had no BBC or “English†channels but did have channels for German, French, Russian and Canadian guests. It didn't matter though as the TV was unwatchable as the picture was always fuzzy. Also, the only way to change channel was to hold the remote 1" from the front of the TV. We enjoyed using the mini-bar but not having to wash up after ourselves every day. Some torn toilet paper was left on floor after cleaning for several days. Check-Out Again as usless as the check-in and the rep. No enquiry about our holiday and no "niceties" at all. I needed to settle the 25 peso bill for the wine from El Caribe so I changed some English money to the value of 84 pesos and about 60 cents. I expected 59 pesos and 60 cents change but was given 55 pesos. The receptionist had already screwed up and thrown my exchange receipt thinking I would just pick up the 55 pesos and leave. When I queried where my receipt was and the rest of my change she reluctanltly took it out the bin (blaming me for not asking for it) and then said I owed her 4 pesos. Eventually she accepted I was right and gave me 4 more pesos. I was so fed up by now I'd lost the will to live so you've still got my 60 cents. Overall The site was tatty with standards of food, drink, services, amenities and staff which were all similar to a British holiday camp like Butlins or Pontins. The services that we paid for that were essential (w-fi, tennis, gym, TV in room, good food and drink) were all either absent or unusable. At no point did we feel "on holiday", which is obviously what we paid for. Before I take the matter further I'd like your comments and what you propose to offer me and my partner as compensation for our loss, which we consider to be the total cost of the 6 days in Sandals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raymondo Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 i've been to bournemouth You can't go wrong with Bournemouth. Actually I've never stayed in a hotel here but it's a nice place to live although a lot less sunny than Cuba. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted January 5, 2011 Author Share Posted January 5, 2011 To be honest it sounds like any other hotel / package holiday / all inclusive type place, all are packed to the rafters with people who's idea of a good holiday is booze, noise, pool etc which is why we now only go to private villas and go self catering, cheap local shops for breakfast diy and then eat out every night, works out the same as all inclusive garbage! Unfortunately Dave...........you are absoultley spot on. Another part of the world that has been ruined by letting the entire cast of the Jeremy Kyle show have access to too much money. Should have gone to Sandals next door. I was there a month ago and here's my letter of complaint which is being "investigated": [/i] The worrying thing here is everyone who we spoke to said 'oooo what a shame we were at the Sandals next door and it was lovely' Where the hell do these cretins come from!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 To be honest it sounds like any other hotel / package holiday / all inclusive type place, all are packed to the rafters with people who's idea of a good holiday is booze, noise, pool etc which is why we now only go to private villas and go self catering, cheap local shops for breakfast diy and then eat out every night, works out the same as all inclusive garbage! Unfortunately Dave...........you are absoultley spot on. Another part of the world that has been ruined by letting the entire cast of the Jeremy Kyle show have access to too much money. Should have gone to Sandals next door. I was there a month ago and here's my letter of complaint which is being "investigated": [/i] The worrying thing here is everyone who we spoke to said 'oooo what a shame we were at the Sandals next door and it was lovely' Where the hell do these cretins come from!!!!!! Sandals could only be described be described as "lovely" if you have just left prison and you think Iceland provide all your nutritional needs. This is lovely. Les Orangers Beach Resort in Tunisia: http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Revi ... mamet.html Went there in March. Will be going again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 It's all very hit and miss though Captain, we went to Tunisia in 2009 and although we had a good holiday in the end the place we stayed was hateful and I found the actual country quite sleazy full of middle aged Northern women being felt up by local young lads... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rothers2901 Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 After this revue i'm realy considering cancelling my 5* all inclusive Med cruise to sample the cluture, or maybe not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.