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a day in the life of a BMW driver


Arkwright

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The other day I was cruising along as usual, coming onto one of our motorways, which was very busy with many very inferior cars.

 

First off, I could not believe that the volume of traffic DID NOT slow down for me AT ALL, as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

 

At least the driver of the car behind me recognised his mistake and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

 

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

 

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane, and posing along at 110 mph., enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him that he should not be in the BMW lane of my motorway, and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out again behind me! He also tried to keep up with me, and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

 

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I have to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on. (They're not free points either - they're £50 each and I was only allowed 3.). But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

 

See now, THATS the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

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The other day I was cruising along as usual, coming onto one of our motorways, which was very busy with many very inferior cars.

 

First off, I could not believe that the volume of traffic DID NOT slow down for me AT ALL, as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

 

At least the driver of the car behind me recognised his mistake and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

 

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

 

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane, and posing along at 110 mph., enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him that he should not be in the BMW lane of my motorway, and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out again behind me! He also tried to keep up with me, and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

 

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I have to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on. (They're not free points either - they're £50 each and I was only allowed 3.). But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

 

See now, THATS the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

 

 

Nice one Derek

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Perfectly legitimite story, have you any idea how frustrating it is when losers in their jap crap make illegal use of my BMW lane, if I had my way there would be snipers on the overpasses to deal with them!

 

:D

 

 

 

brilliant idea ............. snipers with radio contact ...........................

 

just call and crap drivers get zapped ............. there'd be a fee of course

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all cars should be fitted with a fart capsules linked to a mobile network, and if your driving crap or lane hogging then the system is activated and sets one of the capsules off.

 

the instant urge is to pull over asap and get out. there for taking you off the road and reminding you your driving is crap.

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all cars should be fitted with a fart capsules linked to a mobile network, and if your driving crap or lane hogging then the system is activated and sets one of the capsules off.

 

the instant urge is to pull over asap and get out. there for taking you off the road and reminding you your driving is crap.

 

But then you would need a support vehicle to replenish your capsules constantly.... :D

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I think AUDI drivers are worse now...

 

+1. Also not all bmw drivers are bad just most people who driver crap cars are fools. Like Im driving my 350z at 70mph and some idiot overtakes me in a volvo or a saab then slows down in front of me. Its like look I overtook you. So annoying its like I overtook a sensible driver who was doing 70mph but my car must be faster than his sports car as if you have a sports car you have to bouncing off the limiter in 5th!

 

Also anyone who has driven a bmw on the motorway knows why they all speed. No joke 70mph feels like 40mph. Lovely cars e39 m5 slammed, onyx black and black tints :cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9::cloud9: I'd be flossing!

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