Emperor Ming Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Heres a little true story that happened to me two days ago. On Thursday morning I attended an address in relation to a villain who we thought was importing lots of illegal fags and was using red diesel in his cars. (If rumours are true he is also a nasty piece of work with elderly neighbours and residents) Got there and tried knocking at the front door to no gain. The high wooden gate was locked and the only way to the back door was through a wooden fence panel. We managed to lift up the panel and one of my lads climbed underneath and tried the back door. Again to no gain. (We later found out that they had been on holiday) This guy being a bit of a villian had CCTV cameras outside his house that recorded in best technocolour and over a LONG period. We leave empty handed and my traffic buddies go off to catch car criminals. The next day I receive a mmessage from one of our telephone call handlers that an irate woman had called up having seen me on her CCTV camera breaking into her house through the fence and DEMANDED to know what I was doing at her house Together with my merry band of warriors I toddled off to the house, invited myself into their living room and told the man of the house why I had attended. I mentioned red diesel and good as gold he took me into his garage and showed me four empty 'gerry' cans that he had used to buy 100 litres of red diesel to 'kill off some trees'. I then told him I was going to get the Customs and Excise people to dip his car tank to see if there was red diesel in it. He agreed as there was no red in his car. Twenty minutes later they turn up and proceed to dip his nice new Astra estate. The diesel looks alittle pink and he admits to having put red in it three months ago He thought it would have gone and was there for confident that he would not be detected. We then said we wwere going to dip the tank of his car parked on his drive. At this he royally spat the dummy out and stomped off into the house. I got him back out and 'persuaded' him to help us Initially he said he couldn't find the keys and the Customs guys were having trouble dipping the tank so he was told that the customs guys would call out a fitter to assist them at a cost of £200 that he would have to pay irrespective of what they found Of course we found LOTS of red in that one. He was interviewed by the customs people and admitted driving the new estate car. Immediate fines as follows: Red diesel in new astra £250 Red diesel in other astra £250 Driving new astra with red diesel £250 Total £750 Pay up NOW or have BOTH cars towed. He again got the hump but gave in and his passing comment was "Guess this is getting caught RED handed" He went upstairs and came back down with CASH This is a guy just back from two weeks in Benidorm on a drinking holiday and with no permanent job. I only laughed a little bit. Moral of the story. If you see Mr Ming on your CCTV don't let your angry wife call the cops because he was there for a DAMN GOOD REASON I don't always catch them the way they expect but I always catch them. He He He!!! Ming the Satisfied Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 What do you look like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 What do you look like Why do you think they call me MING?????????????????????? Ming the Dopelganger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave J Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Christ.......i thought i loved my job.........but then, i had lots of friends at school Dave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 Christ.......i thought i loved my job.........but then, i had lots of friends at school Dave. What better feeling is there than helping some arsehole who desperately deserves it ....... get what he deserately deserves Ming the Content PS Did you leave your friends at school cos i have lots NOW!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 What do you look like Why do you think they call me MING?????????????????????? Ming the Dopelganger Is it cos your minging? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 What do you look like Why do you think they call me MING?????????????????????? Ming the Dopelganger Is it cos your minging? Nope. Its cos I am Emperor Ming the ruler of all the known universes. Ming the All powerful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 What do you look like Why do you think they call me MING?????????????????????? Ming the Dopelganger Is it cos your minging? Nope. Its cos I am Emperor Ming the ruler of all the known universes. Ming the All powerful Is this you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 What do you look like Why do you think they call me MING?????????????????????? Ming the Dopelganger Is it cos your minging? Nope. Its cos I am Emperor Ming the ruler of all the known universes. Ming the All powerful Is this you? Yup Thats me LOL Apart from the forhead adornment I could be looking in a mirror Ming the Copied Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I hate low life scum. Nice one Ming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelwr Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Hope you sent him back up to get his cheque book and pen. I assume cops aren't allowed to accept cash and you don't wanna get involved in money laundering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kense Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 The cash was for customs, not for Ming, although I doubt they could take cash either? I had a similarly stupid thing happen to me the other day (also a copper)... Some woman called up saying she'd knocked a young lad off his bmx - so it says on the log that her name is Ruth, and obviously she had a female voice, so we go there expecting to see a woman driving a car... Anyway, when we turn up there's a woman called Ruth sat in the drivers' seat of a Metro, with the seat pulled right forward. She'd knocked the lad off his bike as he cleverly decided to do a wheelie across the road in front of her, it was the kid's fault, but she was clearly shaken up. Her husband (who was considerably taller than her) was stood on the pavement talking to the lad and his mates. The kid wasn't injured, and was a bit of a gobsh*te, and when we turned up they all scarpered. Anyway, the bloke then tells us that he was driving it. "Erm, ok, so why's your missus in the drivers' seat?" "She just moved it out of the way of the junction for me." OK, so he sits in the back of the van while we check the car and his documents, and we leave the missus in the car. Running the car through the box reveals that only Ruth is insured to drive it, and the husband doesn't have his own insurance on another car. "Are you sure you were driving it?" "Umm well I might not have been..." "Look mate were you driving it or not?" "OK then, yes I was." I go speak to the wife again, see if she wants to change her mind... "No, he was definitely driving it." If she'd have just admitted she was driving it, we would have just taken enough details for the accident book and sent them on their way - it was clearly the lad on the bike's fault, and he'd done one. As they were both adamant that it was the bloke who was driving, we ended up seizing their car (which costs about £150 a day storage), and reporting the bloke for driving with no insurance, which will cost him at least £500 and 6 points in court! Why on earth would she not just say she was driving?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 Hope you sent him back up to get his cheque book and pen. I assume cops aren't allowed to accept cash and you don't wanna get involved in money laundering. The frightening thing is that the Customs guys have a little safe on their great big van. They can - and did - take Cash as well as Switch, Visa, Barclaycard just about anything!! The offenders Aunt three times removed could turn up with her plastic and they will take that. They most definately are not fussy. Ming the Surprised Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trev-the-Rev Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Keep up the good work Ming and don't rest until the universe is free from low-life such as these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H5 Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Nice work Ming. Were you able to hit him with the extendable bat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave J Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Christ.......i thought i loved my job.........but then, i had lots of friends at school Dave. What better feeling is there than helping some arsehole who desperately deserves it ....... get what he deserately deserves Ming the Content PS Did you leave your friends at school cos i have lots NOW!! All 5-0 or the dear ol C&E i bet!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest prescience Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 On the basis that this stuff is legal http://www.dyedepot.com/product_info.htm what is to stop people acquiring it and using it. The only difference between red and standard AFAIK is the colour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kense Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 It's legal if you're putting it in a JCB or a tractor (etc). The construction industry mainly use it, and they use so much diesel it would be unfair for the government to charge them all the tax that us regular people have to pay, so it ends up with them only having to pay about 20p a gallon as opposed to the 90p it is in the petrol stations. As far as acquiring and using it yourself, the only place you're likely to get it is the pumps from a construction company HQ, and they're not supposed to let you have it, because they could lose their supply if they do and have to pay the full price like the rest of us, which obviously they're not going to want to do. The most common culprits tend to be workmen and other people who have easy access to the sites, but they'll always get found out eventually. That's my interpretation of it anyway, feel free to correct me anyone who knows a bit more about it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 Christ.......i thought i loved my job.........but then, i had lots of friends at school Dave. What better feeling is there than helping some arsehole who desperately deserves it ....... get what he deserately deserves Ming the Content PS Did you leave your friends at school cos i have lots NOW!! All 5-0 or the dear ol C&E i bet!! I got more mates who are crooks than cops and TBH rarely drink with work buddies as the conversation always ends up with work. My poker club has over 50 members and although it started out a cops thing has only about 20 in it now. - see. other people like to drink with us, or is it just that they want to say that they took money from us?????? Anyway, aint all the guys on the site buddies?? Car clubs!! I'm in three at the moment and I can count on one hand the bobbies in the clubs. Anyway. You guys are only to quick to be our mates when you get a ticket/have a complaint/have grief with the neighbours/want any sort of police type advice!! (PS I have NEVER failed to give advice in any of the clubs i am am member even if it means explaining how to complain about a fellow officer.) On a slightly - only slightly - more serious note. the reasons cops drink with cops is easy really. 1. We don't get .... " .... "a mate of mine got caught doing 31 in a 30 and a traffic officer with a bazooka stopped him and issued him a £3000 fine and twenty zillion points on his licence what should I/he do" questions. 2. We can relax and not worry that our every word will be quoted by the same guy that did 31 in a 30 with retribution on his mind 'cos you rozzers are all the fu**in same' and mis quoted in a report to a divisional commander - you think I jest!! NOT!! 3. Occasionally we want to talk shop and when you have had a few you have no idea who is listening. 4. We like to trell ever increasingly tall cops and robbers stories and only other cops believe them/show any interest in them/have the patience to listen to them!! . Ming the Vindicated. PS Don't bet with an inveterate poker player mate he might just take you seriously Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 On the basis that this stuff is legalhttp://www.dyedepot.com/product_info.htm what is to stop people acquiring it and using it. The only difference between red and standard AFAIK is the colour Why would you want to put something into your fuel that does nothing to enhance the performance. I am sure that it would not mask the red in red diesel, and like I said before red diesel is inferior to normal diesel with plenty more sulpher in it. From what the customs guys showed me there is a chemical reaction with the test that they do that shows the presence of the red dye even if not visible to the eye. Some European diesel is red in colour anyway and they can easily tell the difference between this and the home grown variety. Ming the thought Provoking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelwr Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 On the tele they proved a diesel happily running on used oil from the chippy, does this really work or was this camera trickery? We could then get all the construction companies to only reuse the oil used to fry their employees meals down the local cafe. Mmmm, do donuts get made in oil? We could then convert the cop cars too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyC Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Good on ya Ming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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