Smells Like Chav Spirit...........the song

[Ricey]

For anyone who feels that people who 'Cruise' (and not in the George Michael manner) should be rounded up and burnt.

 

This may well be my 'Requiem'.......to be read in the style of the classic 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana

 

Load up on fuel and bring your friends

We like to slide, around the bends

She's been bored out and slammed right low

Oh no ,I fitted a Pe-co

 

{chorus}

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

With our lights out, in a car park

My windows tinted , ill-egally dark

200 brake horse, talk out my anus

Chav girls are here to, entertain us

Install a Peco, riding real low, selling cheap blow,

One day I’ll sell snow

Yeah!!

 

Looking worse is what I do best

In knock off Bur-berry I’m dressed

My horsy power has grown much larger

Since buy-ing an, ebay supercharger

 

{chorus}

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Saxo,Saxo,Saxo,Saxo slammed low!

Public opinion, is that we’re gay-lords

Do all our modding, in Ripspeed Hal-fords

Got a vest on, am I bi-curious?

Think that I’m in , Fast and Furious

Mine has 5 doors, it’s the mother-in-laws, and when I stuff it ,

Cut free by the jaws (of life)

Yeah!!

 

And I forget just why I mod

Oh yeah, so I can outrun Plod

You scowl at it, but its hard to loath her

Could be worse,I could drive a Nova

 

........fade out to much bouncing around and guitars

[Husky]

i actually had to write you a reply song for your crazyness in the off topic area

[slimjim]

That's pretty good...

 

 

Im guessing this is all from experience? ;-)

[Ricey]

That's pretty good...

 

 

Im guessing this is all from experience? ;-)

 

Thankfully as close as I got was chavving up my M reg 1.4 Seat Ibiza........bright blue seat covers all round........the shame

 

Thinking about it my car was go crapply modded I probably wasn't even cool enough to hang with the chavs in the cruising scene.

[rtbiscuit]

ricey you have far too much spare time

[Ricey]

ricey you have far too much spare time

 

I'm not entirely convinced work would refer to it as spare but it stops me literally snapping a chair leg off and clubbing the various idiots I encounter on a daily basis to death.

 

And I quote from a meeting with a very senior manager;

Senior "..........so how can we put a backstop in to stop people making mistakes."

Department Manager " well we can't.......some things just can't be governed like that"

Senior " could we not employ someone to sit next to them and point out when they do something wrong"

Department Manager "...........you want me to employ someone to sit next to the account manager to point out when they do something wrong"

Senior " Yes........"

..........tumbleweed rolls passed.

[spursmaddave]

Thank you for inspiring me Ricey.... not sure everyone else will agree

[Ricey]

Thank you for inspiring me Ricey.... not sure everyone else will agree

 

The pupil has become the master

[rtbiscuit]

ricey you have far too much spare time

 

I'm not entirely convinced work would refer to it as spare but it stops me literally snapping a chair leg off and clubbing the various idiots I encounter on a daily basis to death.

 

And I quote from a meeting with a very senior manager;

Senior "..........so how can we put a backstop in to stop people making mistakes."

Department Manager " well we can't.......some things just can't be governed like that"

Senior " could we not employ someone to sit next to them and point out when they do something wrong"

Department Manager "...........you want me to employ someone to sit next to the account manager to point out when they do something wrong"

Senior " Yes........"

..........tumbleweed rolls passed.

 

you've got to be joshing me

 

is it the senior is that retarded; or are the staff that bloody useless?

[Ricey]

I can't even begin to explain how backward our company (part of one of the largest in the world I might add) has become......they're actually devolving us back into pond algae.

 

Basically the least experienced employee has maybe 5 years industry experience and in this day and age beat off 10 candidates to get the job..........out of a department of 30 people 2 passed their QC for the whole month.

 

.....and rather than admit that the moronic processes they've put in place are crazy to the point of being laughable they make suggestions like 'lets employ someone to sit next to these guys and poke them with a stick'.

 

For some reason an entire company of intelligent people was generally shook about and anyone who floated to the top in a senior position with any common sense got binned off and replaced with people who prefer to hitch a ride up the career ladder in someone's rectal cavity

[ATTAK Z]

Crazeeee but not confined to your industry I'm afraid ............ box ticking is the new management process that's sweeping the world

[rtbiscuit]

those last 2 posts have made me laugh

 

travelling up the corporate ladder in a rectal cavity is f'ing genius

 

and box ticking as a managment style.

 

i thought teaching had its issues; but i'm kind of glad to be in my air tight sealed public sector box.

[Ricey]

No chance mate........give it 10 years and there'll be no such thing as giving a kid a grade because it might damage their 'emotional development'.......it'll be 'A's all round and no one will know feck all.

 

Hit this link - buy the book - its basically a bible for how the world will be in 15 years...........considering its supposed to be a fictional comedy its chillingly accurate.

 

http://www.play.com/Books/Books/4-/3156 ... r=bookall&

[ATTAK Z]

For posterity

 

Bad is the new good. In the not too distant future the European Union enacts its most far reaching human rights legislation ever. The incompetent have been persecuted for too long. After all it's not their fault they can't do it right, is it? So it is made illegal to sack or otherwise discriminate against anyone for being incompetent

[rtbiscuit]

For posterity

 

Bad is the new good. In the not too distant future the European Union enacts its most far reaching human rights legislation ever. The incompetent have been persecuted for too long. After all it's not their fault they can't do it right, is it? So it is made illegal to sack or otherwise discriminate against anyone for being incompetent

 

oh how true