Birthday

[Liam's Z]

(This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy! Be sure to grab a

 

> tissue; I think you'll be laughing so hard you'll cry!)

 

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became

 

apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

 

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home

 

from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told

 

him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed

 

by a s mall diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could

 

stand.

 

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by

 

the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I

 

had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I

 

made sure that I released all the gas.

 

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed

 

delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

 

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I

 

took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone

 

rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned

 

and went to answer the call.

 

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the

 

pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room

 

I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

 

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running

 

over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and

 

fanned the air around me vigorously.

 

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was

 

worse than cooked cabbage.

 

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,

 

I went on like this for another few minutes.

 

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone

 

farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more

 

times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it

 

feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

 

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband

 

returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through

 

the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

 

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests

 

seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

 

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!