Emperor Ming Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Today should have been a good day. A day taken off work and my new car was due, my brother in law volunteered to take us up so Mrs Ming and I could have a nice long journey back in glorious sunshine and I could spend the rest of the day cleaning it until I went to poker and won lots of money. That was the plan. The day started badly as both mrs Ming and I slept in!! Got up breakfasted and at about 10:00am I called the garage. "Hi mate. Mr Sainsbury here. Just making sure the 350Z is ready for collection" "er......... er........... er ........ There is a bit of a problem! The forms from the DVLA have not come through so it has no Reg number or tax disc. i am sure they will be in the post this morniing though. can you call back in half an hour." There is a slight atmosphere in our house and a feeling of impending doom but I TRY and stay up beat. afterall the sun is out and ... and .... and ..... Two calls later and still no docs. I am now quite cross, Mrs Ming is staying out of the way and my brother in law is looking bored but trying NOT to laugh. 11:30 and i find out that the papers are on the desk in the DVLA office in outer mongolia somewhere and MIGHT be sorted today. The vendor assures me that if they are he will go and fetch them and sort everything out. At this stage I tipped hope out with the dirty dishwater and resigned myself to getting the car tomorrow (Wishfull thinking as it turns out) My brother in law my eldest son and i decide to kill time by changing the light bulb in th pond filter and proceed to cause a pipe leak that took three hours and lots of tape to fix!! Anger turned to humour turned to hysteria and we all had a cup of tea. 2:30pm and the call I was dreading. "The docs will not be ready today sir. I have asked.................... to keep them on her desk and I will get them tomorrow and we can sort the car out tomorrow evening. (He lives in Leeds so I can collect it AFTER work tomorrow) BUT" "What do you mean BUT" "Well if she forgets and puts them in the post this evening it will be late on Monday or Tuesday before I get the docs" (DVLA will not of course work on a weekend - heaven forbid it) I calmly put down the phone having wished the man a nice day and when I was happy the phone had disconnected I prayed for the wrath of Thor and the Viking gods to rain upon him - oh and I hoped his next SH*T was a hedgehog. For those of you who do not know me I am a police officer of many many years service and quite well known in the town I live and work. I decided to go and collect my uniform from work as i am at crown court tomorrow - I had intended to travel in style but its back to LDV police van - and post a few letters. I got a mile from work - 5 miles from home - when I received a telephone call to say that the case has been withdrawn for now and would be relisted. This job is 18 months old and has been to court FIVE times now!!!!! I took a long deep breath and turned around back to town to go to the post office. As I pulled through town I stopped three or four cars back in a line of traffic at a set of lights next to a town centre pub with a little 'beer garden' i am sat there with the stereo on contemplating how odd life can be when I hear. "Sainsbury you FU**ING WAN*ER" I look to my left and see a group of 10 or 12 bare chested arseh*les drinking and smiling. At least 6 of them I recognised as 'customers' but i could not decided who thought I was a left handed shuffler. I gritted my teeth and parked the car around the corner, went to the post office and then could contain myself no longer. I wandered round to the beer garden and leant over the fence smiling. A few seconds later a face looks up, see's me, smiles and says "Hello Mr sainsbury" Did I recognise the voice. You betcha I did. A few others mumbled under their breath some less than pleasant comments about officers of the law but so quietly I am surprised if their drinking duddies heard them. Me "Now then guys. Which one of you wanted to speak to me?" SILENCE me "Well one of you did cause you called me an EFFing ****er" Silence Me "Come on lads. speak up" Silence Me "Just as I thought. No bottle" I turned and walked away and as soon as I was a second out of sight. "SAINSBURY. Your a F**KING WAN*ER" My brain thinks. Dont go back. My heart says Dont you dare walk away. I go back Me "Right you ARSEH*LES. say it to my face." Silence "Just as I thought. Not a spine amoungst the lot of you!" A good long paddington bear stare and I wandered off to UTTER SILENCE. Boy did I feel better. All that angst and ire out of my sytem in one go! You would think that me day was over but oh no there was loads more in store. I went to ASDA to get some shopping and in the space of 100 yards two people reversed out at me causing two hasty stops and then as I left the store someone came the wrong way down a one way street, narrowly missing me and shouting at me for being on the wrong side of the road. I got home and tried to chill out. Decided to make mrs Ming and I a Ming special omlette. As soon as the ingredients were cooked I reached for the blended egg mix - 8 free range eggs if it makes a difference - caught the handle and then tipped the lot onto my feet. There was one of those horrid long silences that normally come just before a car crash then we all got a fit of the giggles. The picture of me in my trainer socks and 3/4 trousers covered in a bright orangy yellow GOOOO! was one that I shall long remember. And the day is yet young. I have a poker match tonight ............................... :shock: Wish me luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Bloody hell,,, you sure your a copper and not a novelist Chin up about the car, she's worth the wait Good luck in Texas Hold em that said maybe you should have an early night with Mrs Ming and tell us how the story ends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Bloody hell,,, you sure your a copper and not a novelist Chin up about the car, she's worth the wait Good luck in Texas Hold em that said maybe you should have an early night with Mrs Ming and tell us how the story ends Cheers Liam Mrs MING is at work until 11:30 tonight so I might as well play. Anyway I run the club so I might be misseD. (I have all the chips, the money and the cloths so the other 39 players might lynch me if I don't turn up!!) I am sure you are right about the car its just maddening to take a day off and end up gardening Ming the Patient Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 What a day. At least once you get the Z it will helpomake all these things fade away. I like a game of poker to, but with your luck, I think you should be playing for matches tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 40 player tournament Brilliant,,, wish I lived in Yorkshire Leo's casino for me What's the buy in????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neo Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 thats gotta be the maddest day ever at least it's outta the way b4 the Z arrives so shouldn't have any more trouble............well not for a little while anyways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 40 player tournament Brilliant,,, wish I lived in Yorkshire Leo's casino for me What's the buy in????? Hi liam We play every 2nd Thursday and it is a £12 freeze out 'no limit' game that usually takes about 4hrs to finish. £10 goes to the pot and the £2 goes to the end of year game and the league winners. We run it like a league with a points system. Top ten players get a free game at the end of the year with a top prize of about £350. I also play every Tuesday and every Sunday - work permitting - at a local hostelry where we usually get two £10 games in. Mrs Ming also plays and is a very competant player. Ming the Card sharp So far this year I am £325 up!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 £325 not bad mate I take it you play for or is it winner takes all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 What A day Ming.....Oh well they say everything happens for the best Keep us posted on the z it will make intresting reading Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 £325 not bad mate I take it you play for or is it winner takes all Yes mate Up to 30 players its 1st 2nd 3rd and over that we pay 4th as well. I will let you know tomorrow if my luck has changed. i am due a win as I am in a dry patch at the moment. Ming the ever Hopeful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Good luck mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluffy Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Bloody hell,,, you sure your a copper and not a novelist Chin up about the car, she's worth the wait Good luck in Texas Hold em that said maybe you should have an early night with Mrs Ming and tell us how the story ends Ming, you any relation to Stephen Smith, Rotherham solicitor/author? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacko Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Thats a crappy story Ming. I really hope your luck turns, I know how I'd be feeling if they'd delayed my car.... Anyway, look on the bright side, once you get her....... you'll be grinning from ear to ear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Bloody hell,,, you sure your a copper and not a novelist Chin up about the car, she's worth the wait Good luck in Texas Hold em that said maybe you should have an early night with Mrs Ming and tell us how the story ends Ming, you any relation to Stephen Smith, Rotherham solicitor/author? Actually read a couple of his books but no not a relation. actually only an adopted northerner having been here18 years Liam Just got back from poker and we had 32 players. We paid 1st to 4th. GUESS WHO GOT FIFTH Yup ME I am gonna go to bed and wake up in a different day!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ming the patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacky Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I would like to say that I feel sorry you had such a crap day. BUT I think I got zapped this morning at 5.44ish officer by one of your mates on my way to the hospital to see my dad (an ex copper) who had been taken by ambulance. I admit to being in a bit of a hurry, but didn't expect to see a TALLYVAN approx 200yds before a GATSO on a 30mph dual carriage way! I was doing about? So you not getting your car,having to change a bulb and making a bad omlette doesn't reaaly cut it. Your all Fuc**ing W a n * * * s lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Ming Posted July 28, 2006 Author Share Posted July 28, 2006 I would like to say that I feel sorry you had such a crap day. BUT I think I got zapped this morning at 5.44ish officer by one of your mates on my way to the hospital to see my dad (an ex copper) who had been taken by ambulance. I admit to being in a bit of a hurry, but didn't expect to see a TALLYVAN approx 200yds before a GATSO on a 30mph dual carriage way! I was doing about? So you not getting your car,having to change a bulb and making a bad omlette doesn't reaaly cut it. Your all Fuc**ing W a n * * * s lol Pray tell fine chap where the correlation is between you 'committing an offence and getting caught' (hell in your own words its a 30 with a gatso, how much more notice do you want of the speed limit ?) and me being a sexually deprived person capable only of personal abuse? I would like to say that LOL and a smiley face makes hurling abuse at me OK but it doesn't. Especially since you have:- a Never met me. b. Never spoken to me. c. Have no idea on my opinions on traffic law speeding and sundry matters. d. Shown your limited understanding of people generally by generalising a group of people made up of individuals from ALL walks of life. (After all your dad was one so is he an EX eFFin wan**r?) e. Managed to sorely **** off a person who thought that in the short time he had been on this forum that it was one of the friendliest forums he had been on in ages. (I am a member of three other forums and a visitor to two or three others) The whole idea of the post was to make a few folk smile and generally have a laugh at my expense but there is always one that has to bring up the "I hate EFFin coppers' Just think who you call when Your burgled Your car is stolen You are attacked in town Etc Etc Etc I could go on on this subject for thread after thread - and may yet so do - but suffice to say you hit on a sore point with me. I will not be categorised as I AM AN INDIVIDUAL!! I will not accept BLANKET criticism of a job that I am PROUD to do. Ming the Slightly angry Hey Lomoto Remember a similar thread on another site mate?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_b Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 ming, Think Blacky is have a bad day also and his father needing an ambulance may have clouded his judgment on the post. Sure he will be back soon and let you know his real thoughts. This really is the friendliest forum I post on, please do not let a one-off make you think different. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Ming .....I winced when Blacky posted that up this is probably the friendliest site going Blacky's idea of a joke?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacky Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Ming I think your taking yourself a bit to seriously mate. The last comment I made lol was only a p**s take after your wonderous tale of how you stood up to the blokes in the pub. But hey if the cap fits? I too could go on all day about how useless I find your profession. But yes, I do not know you personally and I will take the view that you are a decent person who is no doubt trying to do a good job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest prescience Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Call me a psychic if you want but I don't think we've heard the last of this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Call me a psychic if you want but I don't think we've heard the last of this Your a psychic Dorian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hope you're ready, Jacko! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Hope you're ready, Jacko! Initiation by fire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacko Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Ok guys, let's please ensure that this doesn't escalate any further..... just take a breather before anyone else posts...... You're not going to get my full peacemaker speech as I need to finish ready to go get p*ssed with the lads But, lets just understand that things can be taken the wrong way when put into text. With regards to this forum Ming, it is such a friendly place and I would hope that you continue to see that, I have in the short time that I've been here. To give Blacky the benefit of the doubt, I think it was meant to be a joke, but maybe in light of things was a little close to the bone. I mean Blacky, Ming probably gets such "jokes" everyday by someone who has been "badly treated". Also, its probably not the best idea to post feelings about anyones profession, there are probably crap plumbers out there but its not fair to treat them allas one. I would consider how your post may have come across to Ming in light of his profession and the abuse he probably faces every day.We all hate to get tarred with any brushes! I mean, that makes me a boring, sad, IT Geek I would hope Ming that you take Blacky's reply that it was a joke (how ever bad taste it may seem to you) at face value and lets try to move on without this escalating. It might be worthwhile if you want to continue "setting things straight" to do it offline on PM etc.... Sorry if this sounds like a lecture guys, its not meant to be. Just concern, that we try to keep this forum going in the humourous good taste that it normally is..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 My missus is a copper and she's a ****ing bitch!!! Only jokin, chill boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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