jim Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Couldn't resist passing this on. Apologies if it's a repost. A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.' St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy??' 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.' And the blonde entered Heaven... Worse ... you're now singing it to yourself ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich5259 Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 bugger, can't get it out of my head now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zedrush Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 i dont get it? is this a northern joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dblock Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 i dont get it? is this a northern joke? +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronzee Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Nice one Jim. Rats, and I was starting to sing the song... Are you sure you're not blonde Zeddyrush?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trev-the-Rev Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT1703 Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 I'm not sure which is funnier ... the joke or the fact that some people don't get it !?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbs Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 i dont get it? is this a northern joke? And they say there isn't a north/south divide, definately is when it comes to intelligence. Joke definately worth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 i dont get it? is this a northern joke? +1 +2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 I'm not sure which is funnier ... the joke or the fact that some people don't get it !?! Absolutely! And it's got nothing to do with north or south. Maybe they just don't know the song? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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