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The Top 10 jokes at the Edinbugh Fringe


Toon Chris

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The Top 10 jokes were judged to be:

 

" 1 Dan Antopolski - "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"

 

" 2 Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

 

" 3 Sarah Millican - "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."

 

" 4 Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."

 

" 5 Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us.

He's not dead, just very condescending."

 

" 6 Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

 

" 7 Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

 

" 8 Rhod Gilbert - "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."

 

" 9 Dan Antopolski - "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."

 

" 10 Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - "I started so many fights at my school

- I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

 

 

The judges also listed some of the worst jokes at this year's Fringe.

 

" Carey Marx - "I'm not doing any Michael Jackson jokes, because they

always involve puns about his songs. And that's bad."

 

" Alex Maple - "Michael Jackson only invented the moonwalk so he could

sneak up on children."

 

" Phil Nichol - "She's got a face like a rare Chinese vase - minging."

 

" Alistair McGowan - "I've just split up from my girlfriend, which is a

shame, because it was a long-standing arrangement. Perhaps if we'd sat down

a bit more..."

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