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self defence


Arkwright

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INTO A BELFAST PUB COMES PADDY MURPHY, LOOKING LIKE HE'D JUST BEEN RUN OVER BY A TRAIN.

 

HIS ARM IS IN A SLING, HIS NOSE IS BROKEN, HIS FACE IS CUT, AND BRUISED, AND HE'S WALKING WITH A LIMP.

 

'WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?' ASKS SEAN , THE BARTENDER.' JAMIE O'CONNER AND ME HAD A FIGHT,' SAYS PADDY.

 

'THAT LITTLE O'CONNER ,' SAYS SEAN , 'HE COULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU, HE MUST HAVE HAD SOMETHING IN HIS HAND.'

'THAT HE DID,' SAYS PADDY, 'A SHOVEL IS WHAT HE HAD, AND A TERRIBLE LICKIN' HE GAVE ME WITH IT.'

 

'WELL,' SAYS SEAN , 'YOU SHOULD HAVE DEFENDED YOURSELF. DIDN'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR HAND?'

 

THAT I DID,' SAID PADDY, ' MRS. O'CONNER 'S BREAST, AND A THING OF BEAUTY IT WAS; BUT USELESS IN A FIGHT

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