xStric9x Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Best Divorce Letter, ever! Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 sounds just like my house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Not sure whether to laugh or cry after reading that!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 sounds just like my house! You mean you won the lottery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny 350Z Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Poor guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maccaman Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 sounds just like my house! You mean you won the lottery? not yet but i'm working on it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 sounds just like my house! You mean you won the lottery? not yet but i'm working on it! Aren't we all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT1703 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cara Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H5 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 That's gonna hurt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronzee Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Talk about Days of our Lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gilly199 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Poor guy in more ways than one aparently Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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