Sunday's Joke

[Zazur]

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

 

"To My Dear Wife. You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight."

 

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

 

"My Dear Husband. I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference:

 

“18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18."

 

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."

 

 

 

 

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young

Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the

way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also

instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could

help it, do whatever he told her to do and pray.

 

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the

Saturday night bath had gone.

 

"Oh, Sister" said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

 

"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

 

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to

wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down

between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

 

"Did he now..." said the old nun evenly.

 

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key

to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to

me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace.

And

then Father John guided his key to Heaven into my lock."

 

"Is that a fact..." said the old nun, even more evenly.

 

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to

salvation was often painful but that the glory of God would soon

swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt good being

saved."

 

"That son-of-a..." muttered the old nun, "he told ME it was

Gabriel's Horn and I've been blowing it for forty years!"

[Ian]

[bronzee]

First one is a bit clever.