Sunday's Joke

[Zazur]

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat.

 

He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here - try these on.'

 

She did and said, 'These are too big I can't wear them.'

 

I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that night we have never had any problems.

 

"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on."

 

She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me."

 

Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."

 

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here -you try on mine."

 

He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."

 

Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus.

 

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

 

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

 

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

 

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

 

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

 

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind'a figured we were friends."

[Stew]

[Ian]