Thursday's Joke

[Zazur]

Jewish Christmas

 

As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students

celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. Tell me Patrick

what do you do at Christmas time? she asked.

 

Patrick addressed the class, Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and

sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very

late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then

all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our

toys.

 

Very nice Patrick, she said. Now Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?

 

 

Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and

we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the

chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa

Claus to bring our presents.

 

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him

out of the discussion, she asked, Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at

Christmas?

 

Isaac said, Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the

office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory.

When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing What

a Friend We Have in Jesus. Then we all go to the Bahamas.

 

 

 

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried! to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway. It just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

 

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

!

 

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake the dirt off and take a step up.

Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up.

 

Remember the five simple rules to being happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

 

NOW --------

Enough of that crap . .

The donkey later came back, and bit the @*!# out of the farmer who had tried to bury him.

The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

 

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

[tmJak]

I enjoyed that.