Quiz show nightmares

[Rory]

Brains of Britain - they walk among us!

 

 

 

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

 

Jeremy Paxman:

What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

 

Contestant:

Homosexuals.

 

Jeremy Paxman:

No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

 

 

 

 

 

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

 

Jamie Theakston:

Where do you think Cambridge University is?

 

Contestant:

Geography isn't my strong point.

 

Jamie Theakston:

There's a clue in the title.

 

Contestant:

 

Leicester

 

 

 

 

BBC NORFOLK

 

Stewart White:

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

 

Contestant:

I don't know.

 

Stewart White:

I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

 

Contestant:

Arm

 

Stewart White:

Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?

 

Contestant:

Strong.

 

Stewart White:

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

 

Contestant:

Louis

 

Stewart White:

Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

 

Contestant:

Frank Sinatra?

 

 

 

 

 

 

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

 

Alex Trelinski:

What is the capital of Italy ?

 

Contestant:

France.

 

Trelinski:

France is another country. Try again.

 

Contestant:

Oh, um, Benidorm.

 

Trelinski:

Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

 

Contestant:

Sorry, I don't know.

 

Trelinski:

Just guess a country then.

 

Contestant:

Paris.

 

 

 

 

 

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

 

Anne Robinson:

Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

 

Contestant:

The Conservative Party.

 

 

 

 

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

 

DJ Mark:

For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

 

Ruth from Rowley Regis:

I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

 

 

 

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

 

Bamber Gascoyne:

What was Gandhi's first name?

 

Contestant:

Goosey?

 

 

 

 

GWR FM ( Bristol )

 

Presenter:

What happened in Dallas in November 22 1963?

 

Contestant:

I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

 

 

 

 

 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )

 

Phil:

What's 11 squared?

 

Contestant:

I don't know.

 

Phil:

I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

 

Contestant:

Is it five?

 

 

 

 

 

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

 

Richard:

Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

 

Contestant:

Forrest Gump.

 

 

 

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

 

Richard:

On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

 

Contestant:

Er. .. ..

 

Richard:

He makes bread . . .

 

Contestant:

Er . ....

 

Richard:

He makes cakes . . .

 

Contestant:

Kipling Street?

 

 

 

 

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

 

Presenter:

Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

 

Contestant:

Barcelona.

 

Presenter:

I was really after the name of a country.

 

Contestant:

I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

 

 

 

 

 

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

 

Question:

What is the world's largest continent?

 

Contestant:

The Pacific.

 

 

 

 

 

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

 

Presenter:

Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

 

Contestant:

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

 

 

 

 

 

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

 

Steve Le Fevre:

What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

 

Contestant:

Magna Carta?

 

 

 

 

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

 

James O'Brien:

How many kings of England have been called Henry?

 

Contestant:

Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

 

Chris Searle:

In which European country is Mount Etna ?

 

Caller:

Japan.

 

Chris Searle:

I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

 

Caller:

Er ..... Mexico ?

 

 

 

 

 

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

 

Paul Wappat:

How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and the Israelis?

 

Contestant (long pause):

Fourteen days.

 

 

 

 

 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

 

Daryl Denham:

In which country would you spend shekels?

 

Contestant:

Holland?

 

Daryl Denham:

Try the next letter of the alphabet.

 

Contestant:

Iceland? Ireland ?

 

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)

It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

 

Contestant:

No.

 

 

 

 

 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

 

Phil Wood:

What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

 

Contestant:

Er. ... ..

 

Phil Wood:

It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

 

Contestant:

Blimey?

 

Phil Wood:

Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..

 

Contestant:

( Sile nce)

 

Phil Wood:

OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

 

Contestant:

Walked?

 

 

 

 

THE VAULT

 

Melanie Sykes:

What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

 

Contestant:

Nostalgia.

 

 

 

 

 

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

 

Presenter:

What religion was Guy Fawkes?

 

Contestant:

Jewish.

 

Presenter:

That's close enough.

 

 

 

 

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

 

Wright:

Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

 

Contestant:

Jesus.

 

[Stew]

Should these people be put down???

 

:lol:

[marzman]

OMG some of those are funny.

[Cara]

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

 

Jamie Theakston:

Where do you think Cambridge University is?

 

Contestant:

Geography isn't my strong point.

 

Jamie Theakston:

There's a clue in the title.

 

Contestant:

 

Leicester

 

 

 

 

Really makes you wonder about some people

[Toon Chris]

[sunset350z]

Some people are thicker than thick :lol:

[Renegade]

I Remember the Family fortunes one I think it was.

 

Name a bird with a long neck.

 

Answer given was Naomi Campbell.

[bronzee]

We really need a D'oh about now.

[H5]

:lol:

[Ian]