Jump to content

speeding ticket


mbs

Recommended Posts

While I was driving down the A64 the other day (going a little faster than I should have been), I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. His mate, waiting in the layby further down the road, pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk asked:

 

'Runway too short?'

 

To which I replied: 'I'm late for work.'

 

To which he asked: 'What do you do?'

 

I responded: 'I'm a rectum stretcher'

 

The copper was surprised and confused: 'A rectum stretcher, and just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

 

'Well,' I said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet.'

 

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously : 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?'

 

To which I politely replied : 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge.'

 

Speeding ticket: £60.00

Penalty Points : 3

Court costs: £45

Look on copper's face: Priceless..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...