Zummertor Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?' Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.' Kiwi: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager) Dog: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?' Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.' Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?' Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.' Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?' Horse: 'Cool' Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager) Horse: 'Yep' Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.' Kiwi: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?' Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar......' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trev-the-Rev Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 would work well in Wales Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 And most of the Scotish Islands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 And most of the Scotish Islands Oh your getting a slap when i see you lexx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 On the same theme, here's one for Stew - What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Aberdeen? A leisure centre! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 And most of the Scotish Islands Oh your getting a slap when i see you lexx Lived in Glasgow for 4 years mate, Im allowed to judge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 hahaha thats fair play then! So how come u moved lol its a great place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 I was at the Nautical college there when I was training. Nearly moved there for good, but split with the girl I was seeing there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Ah fair play mate! I am at strathyclyde uni so i kno exactly where u where lol! Not a bad union either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Christ, I lived in Strathy Union! I may as well have made a direct bank transfer from my bank account into the Barony tills! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 hahahaha i kno how u feel! but a few of my m8s work behind bar so get a few cheeky shots and big measures from time to time (every tuesday and thurs)hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 have Thursdays got busy again? When I was cadet (99-03) Thursdays where always mobbed! But in 06 when I was back in Glasgow for 6 months doing my Mates/masters the place was empty on a Thursday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Yup back to being pretty busy again! But tuesday nights are normally the way to go! Few drinks in the union then onto a nightclub called Kushion really nice place and all drinks are a quid lol! AND they sell red stripe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Yeah, I like Kushion. though we used to go to Bunker. Im out in Merchant City on Friday night, and Ashton Lane on Sat, and then Glasgow meet hungover on Sun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 HAHAHAH sounds like a plan! Am in kush on fri! If ur kickin about merchant city new night club called siglo the tottie is unbelieveable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Sounds like a plan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronzee Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Now look here Zumm, just coz we have many millions more sheep in NZ, than we do people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elniniol999 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 And most of the Scotish Islands Oh your getting a slap when i see you lexx why? hes bloody right! lol and you know it jay! is it not ramalamb season just now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I dnt kno lol ask some one from aberdeen or wales Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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