Jump to content

When you get to heaven


lomoto

Recommended Posts

Longish one , but stick with it :)

 

 

 

 

 

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinkin drunk, as

he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already

asleep.

 

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

 

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed

wearing a long flowing white robe. 'Who the hell are you?' demanded

Brian, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'.

 

The mysterious man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter'.

 

Brian was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much

to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to

send me back straight away!'

 

St Peter replied 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.

We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.' Brian was devastated,

but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be

sent back as a hen.

 

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around

pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this

strange feeling welling up inside him.

 

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen,

how are you enjoying your first day here?'

 

'It's not so bad' replies Brian, 'but I have this strange feeling

inside like I'm about to explode'.

 

'You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've never

laid an egg before'.

 

'Never' replies Brian.

 

'Well just relax and let it happen.'

 

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops

out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him

and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood

for the first time.

 

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming

and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that

ever happened to him... ever!!!

 

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he

felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife

shouting

 

'Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you've @*!# the bed'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...