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Stupid Criminals


Toon Chris

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1.Seattle: When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

 

2.Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills.

 

 

3.When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand

over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the

police. They still wouldn't give him the money, so the robber called the

police -- and was arrested.

 

 

4.A guy wearing pantyhose on his face tried to rob a store in a mall. When

the security came, he quickly grabbed a shopping bag and pretended to be

shopping, forgetting that he was still wearing the pantyhose. He was

captured, and his loot was returned to the store.

 

5.RULES FOR BANK ROBBERS: According to the FBI, most modern-day bank

robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by

young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about

their business. For instance it is reported that in spite of the widespread

use of surveillance cameras, 76% of bank robbers use no disguise, 86% never

study the bank before robbing it, and 95% make no long-range plans for

concealing the loot. Thus, this advice is offered to would-be bank robbers:

Consider another line of work.

 

6.Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal

colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

They placed the message "HE'S LYING" in the copier, and pressed the copy

button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed to the police.

 

 

7.A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking" stole a

steamroller and led police on a 5mph chase, until an officer stepped aboard

and brought the vehicle to a stop.

 

8.AVweb, a weekly aviation news letter, reported that a bungling burglar

broke into a Mooney aircraft at the Knox County, Ohio airport and removed

its avionics system, including the Emergency Locating Transmitter or ELT.

This device sends homing signals if the aircraft crashes. You can guess

what happened next. The ham-handed crook jarred the ELT enough to activate

it, and authorities had no trouble tracking the perpetrator to his lair.

 

9.Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled

a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20

bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was

$15. Question: if someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a

crime committed?

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:lol: I particularly like number 6 :thumbs:

 

+1 I laughed out loud when I read that one! Excellent.

 

(Oh, and I corrected your spelling too, Andy.) :thumbs::D

 

:lol: Thanks Jim, I really should read my posts before I click submit... Most of the posts you see of mine that have been edited are only because there will be a typo in the original post :doh:

 

EDIT: Like this one!

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  • 4 weeks later...
:lol::lol: class ! only in america :headhurt:

 

Not only in America. . .a youth was being interviewed by police in the UK about a Robbery that had been committed and caught on CCTV. The perpatrators were wearing balaclavas. On interview, the suspect was shown the CCTV and whilst watching it said 'you can't tell it was me, i was wearing a balaclava!' Obviously he was charged.

 

:lol::lol:

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