Jake.Lowther Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 Just watched a great video on YouTube and it's so true, since owning my 350z and taking it off the road I've recieved enormous amounts of hate from even close friends and family about my "pointless and stupid hobby" But at the end of the day you've gotta remember it's your car don't let others dictate what you shouldn't and shouldn't do! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDMetal Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 I work in the games industry so at least cars are real! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m4nn13 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 This is a great video, many people I know who should consider this before they fire off their opinions, and not just when it comes to cars either! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 ohhh yeah. Had it loads off mates with kids mainly. "when you grow up you'll realise XYZ is more important than silly bollox like that. When you've got to put food on the table!" Their decision to have spawned another child while they were still pretty much kids themselves and then more along the line, thus ensuring empty pockets. Not my problem. I'll have kids when I'm ready and 110% know I can guarantee that kids happiness entirely, cemented, and give it the best in life. Not scrimping and scraping and arguing about money with my partner. I'm doing just fine at building that future and I'll be a much more rounded parent than a 19 year old. In the meantime, I'll damnwell enjoy the fruits of my labour as I see fit. /rant. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake.Lowther Posted November 3, 2017 Author Share Posted November 3, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, TT350 said: ohhh yeah. Had it loads off mates with kids mainly. "when you grow up you'll realise XYZ is more important than silly bollox like that. When you've got to put food on the table!" Their decision to have spawned another child while they were still pretty much kids themselves and then more along the line, thus ensuring empty pockets. Not my problem. I'll have kids when I'm ready and 110% know I can guarantee that kids happiness entirely, cemented, and give it the best in life. Not scrimping and scraping and arguing about money with my partner. I'm doing just fine at building that future and I'll be a much more rounded parent than a 19 year old. In the meantime, I'll damnwell enjoy the fruits of my labour as I see fit. /rant. Totally agree, mate everyone feels the need to express their opinion. The most annoying one is: it's just a metal box that gets you from A to B why do you need to spend all this money on it Edited November 3, 2017 by Jake.Lowther Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargara Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, TT350 said: ohhh yeah. Had it loads off mates with kids mainly. "when you grow up you'll realise XYZ is more important than silly bollox like that. When you've got to put food on the table!" Their decision to have spawned another child while they were still pretty much kids themselves and then more along the line, thus ensuring empty pockets. Not my problem. I'll have kids when I'm ready and 110% know I can guarantee that kids happiness entirely, cemented, and give it the best in life. Not scrimping and scraping and arguing about money with my partner. I'm doing just fine at building that future and I'll be a much more rounded parent than a 19 year old. In the meantime, I'll damnwell enjoy the fruits of my labour as I see fit. /rant. We're having our first kids (twins), the FIRST thing i veto'd before the subject was even brought up was the 350z. I still need to get to work at the end of the day Back on the OP. Its a good video but lets be honest, that Subaru is potentially barryboys worthy with its Lexus lights, matt purple paint and demon eye headlights. Edited November 3, 2017 by Sargara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock_Steady Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I like the video. it's true that you're not going to like everyone's choices but, it is just rude to say to someone, "you're cars ugly". What will that achieve? Nothing more than the recipient thinking "what a knob". They're definitely not going to strip their car and call you for advice on how to do a second time round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 On 11/3/2017 at 17:26, TT350 said: ohhh yeah. Had it loads off mates with kids mainly. "when you grow up you'll realise XYZ is more important than silly bollox like that. When you've got to put food on the table!" Their decision to have spawned another child while they were still pretty much kids themselves and then more along the line, thus ensuring empty pockets. Not my problem. I'll have kids when I'm ready and 110% know I can guarantee that kids happiness entirely, cemented, and give it the best in life. Not scrimping and scraping and arguing about money with my partner. I'm doing just fine at building that future and I'll be a much more rounded parent than a 19 year old. In the meantime, I'll damnwell enjoy the fruits of my labour as I see fit. /rant. Ironically you are giving out an opinion on how to bring up kids that will rub other people up the wrong way too in the same way they rub you up the wrong way. My life long friend who I met in nursery when we were both 3 years old had a child at 20 and she has been the most amazing parent (doing it alone) and is one of the most resilient people you will ever meet for example - she now has two nice cars (including a cool hot rod) and her daughter is off to uni and she recently married a great guy. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to be a parent. The most important learning I have from being a parent is not to criticise another persons approach to bringing a child into this world - some people change their priorities some don't but thats life. The other learnings I have personally are that money is not a guarantee of a childs happiness and that time is more important. My son would rather spend time with me kicking a ball around over the park or putting together his space project than sitting on his own without me around playing the latest computer games on some snazzy expensive games system. Anyway. The video. It is kind of good'ish. The internet has bred a new generation of keyboard warriors, you certainly wouldn't have anywhere near the sort of aggression if everyone were stood in the same room together. The anonymity of the internet makes for some very angry people hiding behind a perceived safety net. Also you get a lot more one-up-manship on forums like PH or the hateful Barrys forums vs somewhere like here where people are a bit more grown up. Is there a mass of hatred out there? I don't think so. People post up pics of their cars, that will encourage feedback, if people don't want it don't post up the car. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 hour ago, coldel said: I don't think there is any right or wrong way to be a parent. Oh there's definitely a wrong way. Feral kids prove that beyond doubt. At the good end of parenting there's many a nuance as to what is better, but at the bad end it's fairly obvious when someone is just doing a terrible job of parenting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Ekona said: Oh there's definitely a wrong way. Feral kids prove that beyond doubt. At the good end of parenting there's many a nuance as to what is better, but at the bad end it's fairly obvious when someone is just doing a terrible job of parenting. Thats out of context. Yes you can be a bad parent by beating your kids, ignoring them, giving bad advice etc. but the context around that comment was not that at all, it was that there is no guaranteed approach to what makes a good scenario to being a 'good parent' and a subsequent correct upbringing for a child (whatever that means). Saving lots of money, security of your own house, trusted partner etc. can still all fall down around your ears when you have a child that then goes off the rails, as much as being a 19 year old single parent struggling by on a low income can bring up a very capable and happy child who goes on to run a large global business and changing the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Fair comment, I should've clarified further. I didn't mean bad parenting into the realms of child abuse, more that even a non-parent can see when someone is clearly leading their kid down the rabbit hole that only ends one way. I agree, wealth and location doesn't make a good or bad parent at all. Attitude is everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Absolutely. Attitude is so hugely important. I think there are obvious things non parents can see, but its the less obvious stuff that non parents cannot recognise. For example babies crying on public transport, you can see people getting wound up because the parent 'appears' to be doing little to stop it. What they won't understand is that babies generally do cry, there is no on off switch, sometimes they cry for no reason and any offering of food, milk, toys etc. will not change that. Additionally, if parent get in a flap it upsets the child more and makes them cry more - but non parents tend to sit and huff and puff at the parents lack of activity when in fact that parent is massively stressed and desperately wants the baby to stop crying but just genuinely has run out of ideas and is desperately trying to stay calm for everyones sake. You do learn unbelievable capabilities of tolerance as a parent I have to say 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabbitstew Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 3 hours ago, coldel said: Absolutely. Attitude is so hugely important. I think there are obvious things non parents can see, but its the less obvious stuff that non parents cannot recognise. For example babies crying on public transport, you can see people getting wound up because the parent 'appears' to be doing little to stop it. What they won't understand is that babies generally do cry, there is no on off switch, sometimes they cry for no reason and any offering of food, milk, toys etc. will not change that. Additionally, if parent get in a flap it upsets the child more and makes them cry more - but non parents tend to sit and huff and puff at the parents lack of activity when in fact that parent is massively stressed and desperately wants the baby to stop crying but just genuinely has run out of ideas and is desperately trying to stay calm for everyones sake. You do learn unbelievable capabilities of tolerance as a parent I have to say That is pretty much spot on. Crying babies used to drive me up the wall, but after having 2 myself you do kinda get used to them. Getting stressed with them doesnt help anything. They cant help it. In general I have found babies do cry for a reason and that reason is either they are hungry, tired but cant get to sleep or they have filled their nappy. You soon learn how to keep them distracted though. The worst is, when they are tired and cant sleep though and then it comes down to trying everything in order to get them to sleep. Sometimes rocking them works, other times it doesnt. Sometimes stroking their hands works, other times it doesnt. You end up trying every trick in the book to get them to nod off. Then when you think you can sit down and relax its "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" again. Car wise, as long as you can feed the family I dont see any problem with having a nice car or a project car. The only problem ive had since the kids came along is zero spare time to actually work on my project car or go out on my motorbikes etc. A lot of that isnt actually down to the kids but having to do all the housework as well as hold down a 9-5 job. But what little time I used to have at the weekends is taken up with taking the kids to birthday parties or the park or this or that etc. Ive actually taken to having to have a day off work in the week in order to try and catch up on things around the house. The only person ive had moaning about my Porsche is the wife. She would rather I sell it and drive some boring car. Not sure why as its not affecting her. Shes got the family wagon. Comments from mates have been positive but then most of my mates are car enthusiasts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 (edited) 11 hours ago, coldel said: Ironically you are giving out an opinion on how to bring up kids that will rub other people up the wrong way too in the same way they rub you up the wrong way. My life long friend who I met in nursery when we were both 3 years old had a child at 20 and she has been the most amazing parent (doing it alone) and is one of the most resilient people you will ever meet for example - she now has two nice cars (including a cool hot rod) and her daughter is off to uni and she recently married a great guy. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to be a parent. The most important learning I have from being a parent is not to criticise another persons approach to bringing a child into this world - some people change their priorities some don't but thats life. The other learnings I have personally are that money is not a guarantee of a childs happiness and that time is more important. My son would rather spend time with me kicking a ball around over the park or putting together his space project than sitting on his own without me around playing the latest computer games on some snazzy expensive games system. Anyway. The video. It is kind of good'ish. The internet has bred a new generation of keyboard warriors, you certainly wouldn't have anywhere near the sort of aggression if everyone were stood in the same room together. The anonymity of the internet makes for some very angry people hiding behind a perceived safety net. Also you get a lot more one-up-manship on forums like PH or the hateful Barrys forums vs somewhere like here where people are a bit more grown up. Is there a mass of hatred out there? I don't think so. People post up pics of their cars, that will encourage feedback, if people don't want it don't post up the car. Can you point me to the part in my post where i started giving advice on how to raise children please? Im only telling people MY plans and how I would like to raise my children if I have them. Anyone else can do as they please. Also it was in context with the original post. I, personally, get scorned by my parent friends for having a useless, childish hobby and that a car is simply for transport. Then they get angry because I spend amounts of money on it that they'd never had and they'd ut to so much better use than me. So i was only telling the OP whom gave me hostility about cars. Financially things can go boobs up any time, yes. And wealth before a family shouldnt be the primary goal. But say i never bothered to save a penny to assist in what my gf and I were about to embark on...if i didnt do any if those things to try and prepare, if i can. Is that ok? To say i didnt bother because love is the main thing? My parents used to argue like hell about money. It used to scare me to death. My friends abd their partners argue about money like that, too. Stuart cries about it. The amount of hours he works and yet is still broke and has limited time to actually be with his kids. He cant afford to take them to Blackpool for an afternoon. I just want to try the best i can. Im not going to throw caution to the wind and say. And again, ive not told or advised anyone how to have kids. Thanks. Edited November 9, 2017 by TT350 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 " Their decision to have spawned another child while they were still pretty much kids themselves and then more along the line, thus ensuring empty pockets. Not my problem. I'll have kids when I'm ready and 110% know I can guarantee that kids happiness entirely, cemented, and give it the best in life. Not scrimping and scraping and arguing about money with my partner. I'm doing just fine at building that future and I'll be a much more rounded parent than a 19 year old. " So you are saying that they did it wrong, didn't do it at the right time, that you are doing it in a way that you can 'guarantee happiness' your way? OK I admit you are not saying it directly but the implications are certainly there. Understand that you have a few friends that are clearly struggling, they are not representative of the world at large though and I can again say another learning of being a parent is that there are no 'guarantees' around having children, about the health they arrive in, about even having them later in life at all and the lower success rate and so on and so forth. The idea that a 19 year old cannot be a rounded parent is such a sweeping statement about other peoples capability to be a parent - if you turn out to be half as good a parent as my friend who brought her daughter up from aged 20 then you will have done well. I apologise as my original post was clearly aimed at you, but it wasn't really, it was more aimed at society as a whole and how there seems to be a lack of empathy with what parents go through by non-parents. But of course I understand that, I did the same, but thats because I didn't understand. To lighten the mood, watch this, Michael McIntyre sums it all up perfectly https://youtu.be/j1cFt2tWsI4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 KNo in not telling them how to raise their kids. They did it wrong In so much as, I couldn't have done it like they have. I've learned from their mistakes. And again, I haven't said all 19 year olds. I'm talking about myself and my friends when they were 19. I'm vastly different than I was at 19 and in a positive way. My friends though are sort of frozen in time. They've mastered parenthood but I can see other areas they're not developed in. So for ME....Id want to be safe, secure, not worry about things that could be avoided. I currently prepare for myself. I look after myself. If I was skint and worried I'd be really unhappy . And if there was a kid and a gf in the mix too..... I can only say what I feel but it was also a factual statement about parents who frown on me because I'm such a petrol head. For having the choice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 On 11/3/2017 at 18:48, Jake.Lowther said: The most annoying one is: it's just a metal box that gets you from A to B why do you need to spend all this money on it Personally I'd say the most annoying one is; "Why do you need a fast car??!, ...you can't go above *insert speed limit on a given road here*" I usually refer back to that I can enjoy the car on track without any restrictions on speed limits as well as the fact that a fast car is a safer car than a slow car with regards to safe over taking as the increased acceleration affords you less time in the danger zone (on-coming traffic). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumpyoldjanner Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Winds me up no end when work colleagues start interrogating me about how I can afford to run my car (and I mean proper Spanish inquisition level interrogation!) yet I spend less on petrol than they spend on a night out every weekend. Some people like to spend their money on nights out, some on foreign holidays every year, I like to spend mine on my car. Apparently that is worthy of questioning where as if you go on expensive holidays every year that is fine and worthy of conversation 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 22 hours ago, grumpyoldjanner said: Winds me up no end when work colleagues start interrogating me about how I can afford to run my car (and I mean proper Spanish inquisition level interrogation!) yet I spend less on petrol than they spend on a night out every weekend. Some people like to spend their money on nights out, some on foreign holidays every year, I like to spend mine on my car. Apparently that is worthy of questioning where as if you go on expensive holidays every year that is fine and worthy of conversation Dealer mate. Obvs. Cash in the attic n all that. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock_Steady Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 My wife and my mother - who both feel that my hobbies of retro gaming and car modification are completely unnecessary to existence- say a similar thing to " you can't go above 70 so why bother? " to which i always say " it's not about top speed, it's about getting to 70 that's the fun and doing it in style " which, i suppose in a Nissan Pulsar GTi-R, is debatable. But a quick trip to The supermarket via the bypass soon puts it into perspective with a nice dollop of power coming off the slip road, as we rocket to 70 in a blink of an eye, She's often speechless as the power pins her tongue down to her pallet. And even if she did comment it's all drowned out by a turbo the size of an Indesit. Ahhhhh silence is golden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 I have none of this. My work colleagues often say how good it is I am so passionate about a hobby and some say they wish they were so passionate about what they do in their spare time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabbitstew Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 1 hour ago, coldel said: I have none of this. My work colleagues often say how good it is I am so passionate about a hobby and some say they wish they were so passionate about what they do in their spare time. Whats this "spare time" people refer to? Clearly they are not married with kids! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbad Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 On 16/10/2017 at 20:27, Jake.Lowther said: Just watched a great video on YouTube and it's so true, since owning my 350z and taking it off the road I've recieved enormous amounts of hate from even close friends and family about my "pointless and stupid hobby" But at the end of the day you've gotta remember it's your car don't let others dictate what you shouldn't and shouldn't do! excellent video 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 Just now, rabbitstew said: Whats this "spare time" people refer to? Clearly they are not married with kids! Ha! I'm married with a child Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabbitstew Posted November 13, 2017 Share Posted November 13, 2017 4 minutes ago, coldel said: Ha! I'm married with a child I know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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