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Things I don't understand


Ekona

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have some frankly outrageous stories around this and I'm not proud of it. Some are a little funny depending on how you look at it. At least nobody got hurt and I still have a license. 

 

I've grown up now thankfully, I would share my stories but don't want to lower peoples opinion of me. 

 

 

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Years ago I went to a christmas party, I had one glass of wine very early and then nothing after that and ate a 3 course meal, I was well clear.

 

Drove home with wife (then girlfriend), not going too fast until some dusch was right up my @rse so i sped up, stayed within the speed limits (ish) only after about 2 miles for that dusch to be the police, queu the blue lights.

 

Absolutely shat myself, one for thinking I was going to get done for speeding and then being convinced I was over the limit.

 

Anyway, coppers asked if I had been on an advanced driving course as they couldnt keep up (lol) I'm not that great a driver - and then asked if I'd had a drink, I said yes so they breathalyzed me.

 

Then, told me I'd blown it!! (Now having a heart attack).

 

Then said no actually blown up the machine, it had been faulty all night and was now broken. Heart rate still at about 250 bpm.

 

Told me to get on my way and drive a bit slower lol.

 

I love Norfolk plods.

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Iv been breath tested only once, when I was pulled over in my first ever car. A Peugeot 106. I blew a 0 as I told the officer I would. 

 

What annoys me is how the plod fire questions at you, trying to make you admit liability or be in the wrong. 'we had to do 50 to catch up to you, you must have been speeding'.

 

Then when you explain the law of basic physics and how it's impossible to catch a car in the distance by doing the same speed as said car, your being cheeky! 

 

I'd make a good police officer. I'd be great at mixing peoples words up and catching them out.  Searching every vehicle I came across as I 'smelt something funny' and stated the drugs act.

 

Id also pull people over for incorrectly spaced reg plates - that actually does irritate me! 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Exec said:

I love the question 'Do you know why I've pulled you over'? 

 

1) Cos you're stupid and have a very low IQ ???

2) You're trying to impress your partner ???

3) You had a row with your wife before you started work today ???

4) You've got to get your figures up ???

5) Cos you're a dick ???

 

 

 

 

 

 

... is what I'd like to say but probably wouldn't

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1 hour ago, Toon Chris said:

Douche :thumbs:

 

Honestly, the grammar police don't do spelling any more? 

(maybe because it's french?)

How apt that you pointed this out:

 

Douche definition: A douche is a method of washing the vagina using a stream of water. 

 

:stir:

Edited by Flex
Add pee taking emoji
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