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Farmer Jokes


Toon Chris

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Benny the sheep farmer told the vet he was having trouble with a ram that kept banging its head against the barn.

 

The vet said that the ram probably had bad nerves and that playing some music would calm him.

 

Several weeks later, the vet visited the farmer and found that the ram had died.

 

"Did you play music to him, as I suggested?" asked the vet.

 

"Certainly," replied Benny.

 

"What on earth did you play?"

 

"Frank Sinatra singing 'There Will Never Be Another You'."

 

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An elderly French farmer is in his local church's confessional.

 

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," he says. "During the Second World War a beautiful but distraught woman appeared at my farmhouse, fearful and in blind panic. She begged me to hide her from the enemy. I hid her in the attic."

 

"No need to ask forgiveness for that, my son," says the priest. "It was a wonderful thing to do."

 

"Yeah," replies the farmer, "but she started offering me sexual favours in return, and I went along with it."

 

"People in wartime situations do funny things. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

 

"That's a great load off my mind," says the pensioner. "May I ask a question?"

 

"Of course."

 

"She's getting on a bit now. Should I tell her the war is over?"

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