glrnet Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Love this place when I read threads like this. Help asked for, help given and benefitted from. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docwra Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I'd rather cut off my own arm than go guarantor for anyone. That's what it'll end up costing you and more if they default on an agreement. Id only be a guarantor for my own kids ........ and youre effectively a guarantor for them anyway 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I'd rather cut off my own arm than go guarantor for anyone. That's what it'll end up costing you and more if they default on an agreement. Id only be a guarantor for my own kids ........ and youre effectively a guarantor for them anyway Maybe financially at times but once they're over 18 (or is it 16?) then legally they're responsible for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay84 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I'd rather cut off my own arm than go guarantor for anyone. That's what it'll end up costing you and more if they default on an agreement. Id only be a guarantor for my own kids ........ and youre effectively a guarantor for them anyway Maybe financially at times but once they're over 18 (or is it 16?) then legally they're responsible for themselves. Nuts. Was just about to ring me dad, was eyeing up the charger in the for sale section lol. But at 30 something I'm definitely over both 18 and 16. Glad its sorted, been watching this thread, and you definitely did the right things. You offered what you could in a sensible level headed way 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I'd rather cut off my own arm than go guarantor for anyone. That's what it'll end up costing you and more if they default on an agreement. Id only be a guarantor for my own kids ........ and youre effectively a guarantor for them anyway Maybe financially at times but once they're over 18 (or is it 16?) then legally they're responsible for themselves. Nuts. Was just about to ring me dad, was eyeing up the charger in the for sale section lol. But at 30 something I'm definitely over both 18 and 16. Don't worry you're not alone. My Dad won't buy me an R35 GTR the selfish barsteward, Something about "I'm retired now, you've got your own money, me & your mother aren't a bank..." blah blah blah. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Schoolboy error: Go to Mum first and then when she says no, you then go to Dad who always says yes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ioneabee Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Schoolboy error: Go to Mum first and then when she says no, you then go to Dad who always says yes not quite you go to mum first ..... who says no then you go to dad and say - mum said it would be ok if you say ok 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay84 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I can't grumble, my dad lives in Hong Kong and he paid for all 5 of us to go out and see him last summer. The SO and his 3 grand kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marzman Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 (edited) I have just read through this thread - IMHO, good advice was given and taken, you seem fairly level headed and have thought this through and tried to do your very best to help, you can lead a horse to water ............................. I will say from experince nothing tears family appart like money does or at least the lack of it!! I think you stuck your neck out a long way and went above and beyond in an effort to help! Of course the downside of reading this is that us being human we now all want/need to know what happens - we are all stuck with the first chapter and I was quite happy not being aware you had a SiL now I need to know if they did/didn't get divorced was someone cheating, did she find somewhere to live etc etc, that's the problem when someone tells a story you need to know the ending! But whatever happens I wish you and all your family the very best for the future Cheers Chris, i appreciate it. To satisfy your appetite for this soap opera, today's news is that she's contacted the police about her husband fraudulently taking out credit in her name without her knowing about it!! She's arranged a meeting at the police station over the weekend to file a complaint. Again, this is against my advice as she should be trying to keep the husband onside through these proceedings IMHO. Now he'll just want to be as mean as possible i'm sure. Love this place when I read threads like this. Help asked for, help given and benefitted from. Me too Graham. Edited May 11, 2017 by marzman 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 Without being rude, it's almost like she's in self destruct mode with no thought for who else she takes down too. From everything you've posted on here, you've been giving awesome advice and she hasn't listened to any of it. Some people make things so much worse for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exec Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 Personally I don't think I'd ever ask someone to be a guarantor and risk their financial standing for me. If the bank won't take me on due to my high level of risk I wouldn't expect family to. If a dog bites someone for instance, it's likely to bite somebody again in its lifetime. Would you try and pat it on the head whilst it's eating it's bowl of food? No. When I was asked to keep SIL in my home for 4 months after her parents pulled out of the THIRD house they had under offer I thought no. They're going to pull out of the next one and it's their responsibility to mop up their own mess. They should have arranged accommodation for her before they made that choice. I got made out to be the bad one, I 'let them down in their hour of need'. The way I see it, it wasn't an hour of need, I'd more than happily comply with that. It was four months of need!! No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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