Jump to content

F-----g modern cars (my rant)


Dicky

Recommended Posts

 

Decided to fit reversing sensors to my daughters 370. Got a price from the local installer to fit Dolphin rear sensors, £400...eh! Sod that I'm thinking, I'll fit them myself.

Undid all the bumper bolts and clips the stripped out all the boot plastic covers and polystyrene storage thingy's, decided on the mounting position, stuck masking tape on the bumper for marking locations and measured out the mounting positions. So far so good!

 

Bearing in mind I've made some daft mistakes with measuring jobs in the past I made sure I measured 3x the twice your supposed to before committing to cutting plastic.

With drill in hand my backside began to quiver as I approached the first hole position, then I thought, hang on a mo,better measure just one more time. All still good so committed to cutting the first hole, cut the second hole and waited for the usual after thought to flash into the brain " Oh bugger I forgot to "..... But no! nothing came to mind, great, so cut the other holes, ran the sensor wires to the controller, mounted it and the audible sounder, then decided to test it all before boxing up. As I still had to connect to the reversing light 12v wire and earth I got the wife to put it in reverse so I could locate the right wire (beige apparently) but nothing at all......on any wire!

Got the wife to start the car in case the engine had to be running.....again nothing, but this time I mean NOTHING. The car wouldn't start, no lights, no nothing, completely dead. BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER what have I done now, I know, I must have left something on and it's drained the battery. Anyway I make the power connections to the sensor box and decide to finish this job before attacking the no power problem. I fit all the nuts, bolts, clips and plastic covers and box it all up again nice and tidy.

 

Right me thinks I'll fit my 350 battery, so I take the battery off (with more than a little struggle, loosing clips down in the engine Etc) connects it to her car...still nothing, completely dead so reconnect her battery and go for a coffee (Now's the time to panic I'm thinking). I'm mentally drained by now, but perceiver cos us Geordies are built that way!!! I try to retrace my steps......... ( took those bots out, then the clips, then the boot plastic covers...........hang on a mo...there was that white plastic box thingy I found behind the offside boot plastic cover, just the other side of the filler cap ???? I thought it must be an automatic filler cover release that hadn't been connected or something. It was a white plastic box with a 3" white plastic shaft sticking out??! I know cos I remember I pulled and pushed on the shaft to see what it did but nothing happened so I moved on with the job in hand, so maybe that had something to do with it.

Off with all the nuts, bolts, clips and covers again and Lo an behold there it is! I pull and push on the shaft again but still nothing happened. BUGGER SQUARED!!

Anyway I close the boot then try to open it again but nothing it stays shut with my tools inside.

I decide to try it again so get in the car and press start.......WOW would you believe it starts!! WHAT THE F---!!

Great.....life's worth living again ! I try the boot, it works, I try the windows down then up BUT hang on the drivers door window won't go back up. After fiddling and farting for a while the window goes back up to the top and down and up. GREAT. I get out the car, the window drops 10 mm, I close the door....now it won't lift again....BUGGER CUBED !

Now I'm thinking smart, confused but smart.... I log into the 370 guides, and find a widow reset procedure, window down, window up, hold switch 3 seconds and WOW it works again...MAGIC NO its bloody TRAGIC!!

 

I'm now in the bath soaking my old bones and thinking £400 wasn't such a bad price to pay anyway. How fickle we are. Lesson learnt................until the next time.

My next car is going to be 30 yr old Landrover with handles to wind the windows, no computers making life a misery, dents a scratches so I won't worry where I park etc etc.

Who invented computers anyway, he should be shot! Complicating life like that.

 

PS...can someone tell me why that plastic box was ever given a role in life....what's it for??? Just to entice then annoy. Can't find anything in the manual!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You sound like an old school tight arse like myself.

400 quid does sound a bit steep to wire in a couple of bleepers, but like you, I would have had a go also.

You live and learn I suppose.

Great story though! :clap:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi

Keyser ..yep the sensors do work but they came close to ending life at the wrong end of my hammer after causing all that bother!

 

GMballistic..without a doubt young man only problem is im a tight old Geordie so what can you do!

 

Angrybiker..that's good thinking that is. Leave the BUGGER lying dead on the road and enjoy life!

 

JurassicZ...now that's more like it.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...