TT350 Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Hello. Only me. Resident inappropriate thread starter! Been 'trying' online dating sites/apps. My profile is complete and has enough but not too much information. Nothing too revealing or prematurely disclosed. Just a normal, respectful and balanced individual (don't laugh!) Pictures show me adequately. Smiling. Various locations, not all taken using the reverse camera in a dimly lit room with a gormless expression. I'm not rude or weird or disrespectful in introductory messages. No inuendos. I tend to pick 'normal' looking women with a nice smile and a kind and warm face. I'm not interested in fake looking trout pouters. And to be honest, that kind of woman isn't interested in me either. So the thing is, why do women find it perfectly acceptable to just ignore your message? Just write you off instantly. Their profile will say things like "I'm a nice friendly genuine girl who has time for anyone and people say I'm easy to get on with. Totally down to earth. Don't be shy, just drop me a message I don't bite" And... "Where are all the decent guys? Am I asking too much? Just want a nice guy but this site is full of weirdos and married men!!" But like I say...they don't reply. What's that all about guys? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 My understanding is that women are inundated with attention on dating platforms, so they can choose to be picky. They also lie... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobPhoboS Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 My advise is don't bother. They get inundated with messages (good and bad) all day long, so they'll not see it, not interested or just looking for validation. Stick to meeting them in real life, and sure maybe have this on the backburner (ie tinder when having a shite) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 My understanding is that women are inundated with attention on dating platforms, so they can choose to be picky. They also lie... I know attractive women get bombed with messages. But even the plain Jane's? (I prefer plain Jane's and 'normal' looking women, not keen on heavy makeup) What aspects do they lie about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 Stick to meeting them in real life, and sure maybe have this on the backburner (ie tinder when having a shite) I don't get to meet any in RL lol. All my mates are married with kids and don't go out. I met my ex on PoF and that relationship lasted 5 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipar69 Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) What's the point in them replying if they've looked at your profile and decided you're not their type? It's just the quickest most efficient way of weeding you out from guys they might want to get to know. Don't forget there will be guys doing exactly the same thing. Edited February 16, 2017 by sipar69 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 What's the point in them replying if they've looked at your profile and decided you're not their type? It's just the quickest most efficient way of weeding you out from guys they might want to get to know. Don't forget there will be guys doing exactly the same thing. i must just be no ones type then lol. 142 message and 0 reply! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) Well firstly when they say, where are all the nice guys etc, what they are actually saying is, a guy wont f*ck their best mate behind their back, they still want their "nice guy" to be a looker and they are hardly going to say, I am high maintenance stroppy bint who is mad as a cut snake, as I am sure you havent put the anything that might give a bad impression. Even the plain janes will get bombared with messages, which in turn makes them believe they are better looking than they actually are, its a numbers game, you are just a number in the game. Get some real thick skin dude, you will need it and thats before you actually get to "meeting" and "dates". If your a bit fragile, dating sites will not be for you , your confidence will take a massive kicking so be prepared. Edited February 16, 2017 by Jetpilot 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willsy1980 Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) Try being a scumbag, loads of good women end up with idiots, lowlifes, scumbags and thugs. Try playing up for a few weeks with a 'bad boy' image and when you don't punch them or something it will be a nice surprise for them I know your not a Jewish female living in Philly but this may help... Edited February 16, 2017 by Willsy1980 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexx Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 It's all about what you are sending them. Your message should be short, but engaging. Specifically referring to something in there profile and always ask them a question about something in their profile. My brother in law is married to someone he met on Match. I know a few people (myself included) who used dating sites successfully and had a few relationships out of them. (Although I ended up marrying someone I had known for 20 years) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 Well firstly when they say, where are all the nice guys etc, what they are actually saying is, a guy wont f*ck their best mate behind their back, they still want their "nice guy" to be a looker and they are hardly going to say, I am high maintenance stroppy bint who is mad as a cut snake, as I am sure you havent put the anything that might give a bad impression. Even the plain janes will get bombared with messages, which in turn makes them believe they are better looking than they actually are, its a numbers game, you are just a number in the game. Get some real thick skin dude, you will need it and thats before you actually get to "meeting" and "dates". If your a bit fragile, dating sites will not be for you , your confidence will take a massive kicking so be prepared. Good points there. I know it's a numbers game and it's not getting to me, I was just curious as to why women online can be shamelessly ignorant. But like you say, even plain Jane's will get carpet bombed with messages! I met my ex on POF lol. Lasted 5 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 It's all about what you are sending them. Your message should be short, but engaging. Specifically referring to something in there profile and always ask them a question about something in their profile. I do all of those things you've listed. I always read their profile and like you say then I have a topic of conversation especially if we have a lot in common. I'm guessing a lot of women get "hi bbz. U wanna chat? You're well fit" Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Speed dating! Only did it once and in truth I was probably a bit too drunk for it (and I'm a skinny fugly IT geek) but still got some numbers and plenty of action 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 My brother met his current partner on Match, so it def does work. Think of it another way: How do you pick who you want to message? I'm guessing it's picture first, then the text. Women will be the same, and maybe your photo isn't working or the text isn't right. Not saying you're an ugly git or write like a 5 year old more like perhaps the photo isn't as flattering as it could be, or the text isn't standing out enough to sell yourself in the best possible way. It's a definite art form, as there's a fine line between showing off and trying to stand out. If you want an honest and independent appraisal, I'm happy to have a look over it for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valy Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 If you want an honest and independent appraisal, I'm happy to have a look over it for you. Yeah.... share it here so we can all have a laugh as well (just kidding ) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikeyazure Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Mr TT, I've been using dating sites for two years or so now, you get what you pay for. if you use cheap or nothing to pay dating sites you get rubbish. Be prepared to invest! Ive used match and e-harmony and the quality of the "merchandise" is better... You also need to be a bit ruthless and thick skinned.......if you meet someone and it goes nowhere....move on " next please this ones rubbish!" Good luck mate Just persist and have a great time.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stutopia Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Watch out on the pay sites for some types, there's nothing funnier than a "you need to be comfortable around people in my social class yah". But seriously, as per Mikey above, the bigger payers are more serious. Keep tweaking your profile as you read others that catch your eye. Chin up mate, you're not looking for a huge catch, your after that one big fish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randy_Baton Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I live with 2 single women both on dating sites and I’m also single and I’m all the dating sites. When I started using them I set up a fake woman’s profile to see what kind of messages I’d be up against and can confirm Women get loads of messages and yes most of them are crud one liners. Reading them all becomes like a second job. They aren’t going to read them all. If the messaging platform only show your picture and that you’ve sent a mail, then they are probably deleting/not reading based on your profile picture alone. Sh!t, I do the same and only get a few unsolicited emails a month. I pretty much only contact women who have clicked a like/want to meet button on my profile. My success rate of random emailing is terrible. You also have to factor in that many of the accounts your emailing are probably dead accounts. POF has the most people on it but its also full fo dead accounts and spammers. Match is better but their business practices are horrible, just trying to get money out you at every turn. To be honest I get more success out of Tinder/Bumble these days. I find OKCupid the best out of the traditional sites Also I much prefer for a woman not to reply, than say thanks but no thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Mr TT, I've been using dating sites for two years or so now, you get what you pay for. if you use cheap or nothing to pay dating sites you get rubbish. Be prepared to invest! Ive used match and e-harmony and the quality of the "merchandise" is better... You also need to be a bit ruthless and thick skinned.......if you meet someone and it goes nowhere....move on " next please this ones rubbish!" Good luck mate Just persist and have a great time.... I'd definitely consider this. Also, I have a friend in London, split up form his GF, joined Tinder and other similar and has now slept with half of London (male and Female). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabbitstew Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 My mate met his ex via POF and met his wife via Tinder, he said he couldnt be happier. In between his ex & his current wife he said he had so much action via Tinder that he was like a dog with 2 dicks. Another mate said exactly the same thing. Before I met my wife a mate suggested I should try match.com, mainly just to meet a few females and try to boost my confidence a bit. Also just to try and make me think that not all women were scheming cows. (id been screwed over my my ex and so didnt have a great opinion of females at that time). A few observations I found was that it seemed to be 1 woman for every 30 blokes, so women were inundated with messages, with most blokes purely after trying to get their leg over. I also found that the women who contacted me clearly didnt read what I was looking for in a bird. I put down I was looking for a bird with a "athletic to slim" build and nearly every bird who contact me actually turned out to be chubby overweight birds. In addition, nearly all profiles seemed to read the same "likes going out with friends or staying in cuddling up on the sofa watching a movie" etc... In the end I made friends with 2 or 3 birds via there, took a couple on dates, but nothing ever came of it. My mate on the other hand met her husband via match and they are still together now 12 years on. Shame Tinder wasnt around back then! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobPhoboS Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I didn't say that it doesn't work - obviously it can, it's just nowhere near as good as actually finding your balls and going up to a girl and talking to her. You don't need a bar, you go shopping, to the gym, gallery\gig whatever. You know very quickly if you're into each other or not, and it saves a heap of time and obviously it mostly rejections in the end, that's just how it is ! Use something like speed dating to get your experience up if you've not done it for a while. (tough love here..) So you're telling me you need your friends to come and hold your hand so you can meet women ? That's just an excuse. Believe it or not, going out getting pi**ed doesn't help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I remember when I broke my with my ex who I'd been with for 7 years, and suddenly had to get back on the dating scene again. A scene I'd never actually been to in the first place, as I literally went from one relationship that started at school into the next at 18, so at age 25 it was a shock to the system. Anyways, there was one really cute girl who used to work in the local WHS and we'd always have a little chat every day when I used to pop in to buy the daily paper, so one day I simply asked her out. She said no, which I accepted with grace and walked away. Bizarrely it was one of the most euphoric experiences I've ever had, as when I realised getting turned down actually didn't feel as bad as I expected, I knew that it was something I'd be able to do again and again without any fear. Really hard to describe, and I certainly didn't for one moment expect getting knocked back to be so enlightening. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 I was just curious as to why women online can be shamelessly ignorant. Its the lesser of two evils, i know a few single girls who have been on dating sites, they were nice girls who at first tried the, thanks for the message but your not my type approach, they then usually get a torrent of abuse from some insecure d*ckhead who cant handle rejection or the ones who then thought, oh she messaged backed, i must be in with a chance even though she said shes not interested and continue to message and message and then get abusive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Oh god dating websites! Honestly, I know this sounds awful but I'd rather be single than endure them. Likewise with tinder etc, it's absolutely full to the brim with narcissistic attention seekers who are miles away from relationship material. Don't get me wrong, there are obviously decent people out there online but from my experience they are few and far between. One of my mates met a lass on tinder and she was a complete horror show, don't get me wrong she was attractive but that's where her positives ended. I think I'd find it hard to respect a lass I met on an app like tinder etc, I'd much rather hold out for a real relationship built the proper way by meeting someone in real life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Yeah I think you have to remember women on dating sites will be being bombarded by men and *idkpics. How about singles evening somewhere? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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