rabbitstew Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Wow, thats pretty brutal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I genuinely have no idea what to say, I can't imagine anything more distressing that someone could do to a person that doesn't involve violence. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Nothing worse than a c&nt with a c&nt! Amazing levels of cowardice! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mammoth200 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I had a pretty brutal one yesterday, ive snapped my Achilles Tendon and been in a boot for 4 months now, still unable to walk and my playing career is pretty much over now, my friend took me to watch a game yesterday came home and all the mrs stuff was gone including her! not answering phone and dont know where she is, as far as brutal goes this is pretty much the top of the list in my opinion, Ive done so much for her and her boy and this is my reward, im now on my own with one leg and all the bills wondering what to do next! You may see a supercharged zed up for sale shortly Blimey mate, that's bloody awful. I would consider seeking legal advice over the money going missing, unless it was hers of course. Anyone who is willing to do that to another human being, seemingly out of nowhere, is better off out of your life than in. Was there no sign of her intentions before? It seems pretty incredible that 2 people could be there one minute and gone the next, how long were you together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 Jesus. That beats my situation. How long were you together? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly350z Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Will never understand how people think that type of behaviour is acceptable, and to treat someone like that is just straight up savage. Why I've been single for two years now! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Thanks for all your words guys really appreciate it. 6 years 3 years she didnt live with me and 3 years she did with her boy staying on and off during that time but stayed solid for last 12months. It is crazy feeling to be fine and then gone,bit like my leg, one moment running around next cant walk for 6 months. we went shopping sat like normal she seemed fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 (edited) I think women have the ability to rationalise a situation where they do something pretty low. Like I've said before I think their friends have a lot to do with it, too. They may seem fine to us or tell us nothing is wrong but when with friends they turn on the tears and give you a character assassination. they may stew for months and months and not discuss with you their feelings. Instead they keep a tally of reasons to leave you then *poof* they're gone. And it's all your fault. Also they don't want to answer to you so they just disappear and justify it. Their friends will help smuggle them into hiding. My ex wants £30k off me to cover everything she willingly spent while in the relationship. Such as investing in my house by a bit of renovation. The agreement was that I'd sell this house and stick all the profit into the house she bought that we now live in. Seems a bit harsh to me to kick me to the curb then slap me with a bill. She gets to have her cake and eat it. She gets my money to put in HER house with her new boyfriend and I get to sit here on my own broke because she wants paying. I get 20k inheritance in May. Unfortunately she knows about it because when we were in love and planning our future I sad I'd put that in *our* house as well as profit from mine. So...she wants all of that. It's a shame. For them and us. Bottling things up isn't the way forward. Of course it goes without saying that not all women are the same. Edited March 6, 2017 by TT350 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 My ex wants £30k off me to cover everything she willingly spent while in the relationship. Such as investing in my house by a bit of renovation. The agreement was that I'd sell this house and stick all the profit into the house she bought that we now live in. Seems a bit harsh to me to kick me to the curb then slap me with a bill. She gets to have her cake and eat it. She gets my money to put in HER house with her new boyfriend and I get to sit here on my own broke because she wants paying. I get 20k inheritance in May. Unfortunately she knows about it because when we were in love and planning our future I sad I'd put that in *our* house as well as profit from mine. So...she wants all of that. Go see a solicitor. Now. However, unless the agreement is written down somewhere then I'd tell her to get stuffed. Or I'd spend every last penny the second I got my hands on it: Rather you enjoy it than her. Imagine a £20K holiday, being waited on hand and foot, or hiring an NSX to drive Suzuka, or a GT3 to drive the Ring... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 ^Not the best financial advice I've seen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Why? What else are is he going to do with it, give it all to her? Erm, no thanks, I'd rather waste it on an experience than give it to someone like that. Seriously, would you just give it up then? Or donate the lot to charity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Is your recommendation based on her having some right to it and anything tangible bought with it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nimz Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Yeah I wouldn't be giving her a penny mate, unless you drew up a contract while you were together you don't owe her a thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 She hasn't got a leg to stand on. I don't HAVE to give her anything. You can't just turn round and say "I want compensation because it didn't work out" She'll get what I consider fair. Nothing more nothing less. I've got my own life to set up, I'm not going to be setting hers up! She dumped me, she can expect to be low on the list of financial obligations. She does actually want me to sell my 350Z AND my house as it happens. No. She earns £50k a year and that's before any out of of office hours work she does which she does every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 She hasn't got a leg to stand on. I don't HAVE to give her anything. You can't just turn round and say "I want compensation because it didn't work out" She'll get what I consider fair. Nothing more nothing less. I've got my own life to set up, I'm not going to be setting hers up! She dumped me, she can expect to be low on the list of financial obligations. She does actually want me to sell my 350Z AND my house as it happens. No. She earns £50k a year and that's before any out of of office hours work she does which she does every day. Based on what we see of you, I wouldn't give her a penny. If you do, I'd be claiming back £100k to cover emotional damages that only a GT-R can cure. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Hope the tax man knows about her extra income that shouĺd make a 30k request disappear 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 She hasn't got a leg to stand on. I don't HAVE to give her anything. You can't just turn round and say "I want compensation because it didn't work out" She'll get what I consider fair. Nothing more nothing less. I've got my own life to set up, I'm not going to be setting hers up! She dumped me, she can expect to be low on the list of financial obligations. She does actually want me to sell my 350Z AND my house as it happens. No. She earns £50k a year and that's before any out of of office hours work she does which she does every day. Based on what we see of you What do you mean mate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 What do you mean mate? Would I be wrong to say that a good chunk of your posts have been of a melancholy nature recently? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 What do you mean mate? Would I be wrong to say that a good chunk of your posts have been of a melancholy nature recently? Yes but well and truly on the mend now 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 (edited) Yes but well and truly on the mend now Aye, and good to hear. Just saying that from what I can gather of your story, despite being 1-sided, I don't think she deserves anything from you. She may think you owe her financially (which in itself sounds like bollocks to me), but she owes you temporally and psychologically, both of which are more valuable than any amount of money. Edited March 6, 2017 by Strudul 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Yes but well and truly on the mend now Aye, and good to hear. Just saying that from what I can gather of your story, despite being 1-sided, I don't think she deserves anything from you. She may think you owe her financially (which in itself sounds like bollocks to me), but she owes you temporally and psychologically, both of which are more valuable than any amount of money. I feel the same way. Now that the mind fog of being dumped and the fact I no longer want her back has cleared, I can see it all for what it is. Whereas previously (initially) I would have done anything to get back with her. Including paying up any amount. I don't think I could treat someone the same way she's treated me. Merely an object to be discarded. I got dumped because I was very withdrawn from the relationship and wasn't contributing as much emotionally as I should have. But she knew why that was and I was getting better, especially after I came off Fluoxetine. But she'd already decided to end it. She knew what position I'd be in if we broke up (that id be completely on my own) and she knew I was really struggling with depression and anxiety and major low confidence. We'd been out for a few meals over the course of the last 9 months which I paid for and she never once thanked me. One day I made a big batch of peppercorn sauce for her, which she loves. She returned the tupperwear unwashed, she always used to wash things meticulously if she had to return the container. A small detail but it really summed it all up in my mind and that's when I put an end to all contact. That was about 6 months ago. Anyway. I don't want to contaminate the OP's thread unless he feels it's of benefit to have something to relate to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richf Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 OP- There is a reason her first relationship/marriage failed remember , she now is 2 for 2 or more , some might say damaged goods , best off out of there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted March 7, 2017 Author Share Posted March 7, 2017 (edited) Yes but well and truly on the mend now Aye, and good to hear. Just saying that from what I can gather of your story, despite being 1-sided, I don't think she deserves anything from you. She may think you owe her financially (which in itself sounds like bollocks to me), but she owes you temporally and psychologically, both of which are more valuable than any amount of money. I feel the same way. Now that the mind fog of being dumped and the fact I no longer want her back has cleared, I can see it all for what it is. Whereas previously (initially) I would have done anything to get back with her. Including paying up any amount. I don't think I could treat someone the same way she's treated me. Merely an object to be discarded. I got dumped because I was very withdrawn from the relationship and wasn't contributing as much emotionally as I should have. But she knew why that was and I was getting better, especially after I came off Fluoxetine. But she'd already decided to end it. She knew what position I'd be in if we broke up (that id be completely on my own) and she knew I was really struggling with depression and anxiety and major low confidence. We'd been out for a few meals over the course of the last 9 months which I paid for and she never once thanked me. One day I made a big batch of peppercorn sauce for her, which she loves. She returned the tupperwear unwashed, she always used to wash things meticulously if she had to return the container. A small detail but it really summed it all up in my mind and that's when I put an end to all contact. That was about 6 months ago. Anyway. I don't want to contaminate the OP's thread unless he feels it's of benefit to have something to relate to. Don't worry, talk away dude! I've been offered a job training new staff for my company in Manchester for the rest of the year, the money is good and getting away from Newcastle might be just what I need to clear my head. Should be able to save a nice chunk of money by the end of the year. Edit - Gave away too much personal info so deleted most of the post. Edited March 7, 2017 by nowhereboy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 OP- There is a reason her first relationship/marriage failed remember , she now is 2 for 2 or more , some might say damaged goods , best off out of there Bit of a sweeping statement, I know some very nice ladies who are divorced through no fault of their own 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly350z Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 Unfortunately nowhereboy some of us did get to read that before the edit Honestly I get everything youve said, and while I understand and did exactly the same, it needs to stop, NOW. That type of over analysing only thickens the fog completely, when in reality she sounded pretty damaged in the way that she treated people. While admirable what you did for her little boy, you arnt his Dad and to expect so much of you early on is not fair. It takes time. I fell into this trap too and getting out is like dragging your nuts over razors. Just let it go, it wasnt you that was the issue. If you were all the things you said she'd of never entertained you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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