TT350 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 It's just another day, get in the car, go for a blat on the emptiest roads you'll ever drive, come home and stick a game on, job done. Exactly, forget the hype around xmas, accept it for what it is, another day... I would also suggest with your threads of late, you need to go talk to a professional, whilst the forum may offer a lot of encouragement and support and some very kind gestures, you need to sit down with someone and talk It's just where I've ended up in life. Both parents dead before 30, estranged family, all friends settled with kids and I'm single lol. I don't think a professional can help with any of the above! They can if you feel your state of mind is a direct result of the reasons above, they will probably be the only people that can help imho. I ask you this, whats the worst that can happen by doing so and whats the best that can happen? I'm in a waiting list to see one. Went to docs a few weeks back. Put me on sertraline. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Why not go private? It seems to be a very important thing in your life right now, when its sorted you will look back and the money spent will seem of no real importance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATTAK Z Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 I'm in a waiting list to see one. Went to docs a few weeks back. Put me on sertraline. You really need a psychologist or a psychiatrist ... a GP can only go so far ... please get in touch with your local memory clinic, they are there to help and will do. Three months later you'll wonder why you didn't do it long ago. I'm speaking from experience rather than any qualification, but believe me, it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATTAK Z Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Thinking about your situation, shouldn't it feel good to be young and fancy free with no responsibilities other than to yourself ? I think a fair few people would love to swap with you. You have a blank sheet to plan the remainder of your lifetime. You can do anything you want starting now and without hurting anybody. Aim for success and then you'll easily find someone to share it with. Just my two penn'oth ! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 I'm in a waiting list to see one. Went to docs a few weeks back. Put me on sertraline. You really need a psychologist or a psychiatrist ... a GP can only go so far ... please get in touch with your local memory clinic, they are there to help and will do. Three months later you'll wonder why you didn't do it long ago. I'm speaking from experience rather than any qualification, but believe me, it works. Lol I don't have memory problems. Admittedly I forgot those other threads yes but recenty I've been taking onboard a lot of changes and gone back into education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATTAK Z Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Lol I don't have memory problems. Admittedly I forgot those other threads yes but recenty I've been taking onboard a lot of changes and gone back into education. 'Memory Clinic' is a synonym ... they take care of exactly the symptoms you appear to be suffering at the moment ... that is depression and anxiety Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gangzoom Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 It's just where I've ended up in life. Both parents dead before 30, estranged family, all friends settled with kids and I'm single lol. I don't think many people can really understand what you've been through on that front, I certainly cannot even begin to imagine what life would be like without my parents. But you've come through that, and getting on with life, and I suspect coping with it alot better than some others.... As for married with kids, let me run you through my last 24hrs. Up at 4am to settle the baby, up at 530am to feed the baby and wash up baby stuff, till 8am me and the wife take turns to look after baby whilst other does fun stuff like sort out unload washine machine etc. Go to work at 830am, come home at 930pm(Yes I know its the weekend). In bed by 10pm, up at 1130pm because baby crying. Today will be a repeat. Want to play video games - forget it, want to to go for a drive - forget it, go to the gym - forget it, want to sit down for 5 minutes and do nothing - forget it. As someone else have said look at the positives in your life, been single and not tied down means you can do anything you want when you want!! So use that time to do something you really wanted before you do end up tied down like all your firends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 What i would say is this bud. All of the factors in your life were there when you were with your ex and you were happy enough then. She seems to be the pivot point so speaking to someone to help process it WILL help i promise you. Also as said above you are young. Theres so much to do in life and you can do plenty of it alone. For me (if you have the money) the best thing you could do now is go travelling for 6 mths to a year. Youll constantly be meeting new people. Itll build your network of friends far and wide. Make you realise you can be happy alone. Youll see exactly what the world has to offer and youll be leaving all this baggage behind for a while. I wouldnt write off moving to another part of the country as well if where you are holds nothing for you. Live a life less ordinary for a bit Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'd love to be getting away. Sadly my ex has demanded that I repay everything she ever invested in 'us' like refurbishing this house, decoration and a rough figure for nights out etc. We were supposed to sell this house and put the cash into what's now her house. But obviously thats not happening so she wants to be reimbursed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 You need to see a solicitor before you get bent over. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I wouldn't be paying a penny towards nights out for a start, that's just utterly bonkers how she thinks she's due any of that cash back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Does sting a bit. I get binned, a broken heart and a huge bill. She gets out happy and fully reimbursed ready to start over. She's lost nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Dude - get a solicitor and a psychiatrist or she'll ruin ya! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Don't be a mug, push back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm concerned that everyone seems to think I'm losing the plot lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 On a non-serious note, I think you must be mad to be considering refunding your ex for nights out. Are you claiming back from her the time you treated her to a Maccy Ds? Same thing. On a serious note, I do think you need to speak to a professional. A different one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMANALEX Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 No, you HAVE lost it. Solicitor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Memory Clinic, however not necessarily in that order. If not you will end up in the nut house: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm going to 'negotiate' with her. She did sink an awful lot into my batchelor pad to make it a home. But then she also chose to break up with me. As a student, I can't really afford a solicitor. Or a private 'professional'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMANALEX Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Are you nucking futs ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Are you nucking futs ? Apparently I'm certifiable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMANALEX Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Are you nucking futs ? Apparently I'm certifiable. So you ARE crazy: I rest my case: PLEASE , go get yourself some professional help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Dude, I dont wish to cause offence, but, seems like you were getting your pants pulled down by you're aunt and you're inheritance and now your girlfriend, I would personally tell her to stick it and if she gets a solictor involved, go get legal aid. Please dont enter any negotian without legal advise, you will get legal aid, maybe a no win, no fee and from here on in, make sure everything is in writing, keep texts, emails, every single bit of correspondance with her. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATTAK Z Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 or run to Australia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Honest opinion Gareth ~ I'd tell the ex to go and take a long walk off a short pier. Although she obviously invested in your house by the sounds of it I know but that's her loss now she's decided to end the relationship imo. Legally if you lived together for more than 6 months I believe she could claim that you were "common law" partners but she would have to be able to prove she bought certain things for the house & they were not gifts to you. Legally she does own what she bought (so would need all the receipts as proof) and can take those items back if they weren't gifts to you but as for home improvements I don't think she can do anything about that. I'd talk to a solicitor if it starts to get too serious, ...you'd be looking at around £150 per hour I'd guess but you might only need a one hour session to get your head around the legalities. Free info here from Citizens Advice: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gsexr Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 After divorce i had a Christmas Day alone so went out on my Motorbike and then back home for beans on toast. Did go to a mates in the afternoon though. All in all not a bad day and no different to any other day other than in your head. Focus on what you want and what you can realistic have. If your too lonely volunteer or join clubs in things your interested in and you will soon meet people. Dont rule out medical help to get you in a more positive frame of mind. Look at what you do have and build on that mate. Life is great, you just need to discover that again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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