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Paint / French theme with cringe


Zummertor

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Thought I'd take the quality of jokes up market a bit and introduce some masters as we've introduced the concepts of paint with the "paint can" and the art gallery.

 

 

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

 

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

 

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

 

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied,

 

"Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.

louvre.jpg

 

I had no Monet

monet.jpg

 

to buy Degas.

Degas.jpg

 

to make the Van Gogh"

vangogh.jpg

 

Do you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.

DeGualle.jpg

 

I posted it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse

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Somerset Farmers' Computer Terminology

 

 

 

Modem = What you did to the fields

 

Keyboard = Where you hang your keys

 

Windows = What you shut when its cold

 

Log on = Making the wood stove hotter

 

Log off = Don't add any more wood

 

Hard Drive = Getting home during wet weather

 

Microchips = What are left in the bag when the big chips are gone

 

Downloads = Getting the wood off the tractor

 

Megahertz = What you get when your not careful downloading

 

Floppy disc = What you get lifting too much firewood at once

 

Chip = A bar snack

 

Modem = What you did to the lawns

 

Dot Matrix = Old Dan Matrix's wife

 

Laptop = Where the cat sleeps

 

Mouse = What eats the grain in the shed

 

Web = What spiders make

 

Cursor = The old bloke that swears a lot

 

Upgrade = A steep hill

 

Network = When you have to repair your fishing net

 

Online = When you get the laundry hung out

 

Off line = When the pegs don't hold the washing up

 

Just to even things up Jay ;)

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Somerset Farmers' Computer Terminology

 

 

 

Modem = What you did to the fields

 

Keyboard = Where you hang your keys

 

Windows = What you shut when its cold

 

Log on = Making the wood stove hotter

 

Log off = Don't add any more wood

 

Hard Drive = Getting home during wet weather

 

Microchips = What are left in the bag when the big chips are gone

 

Downloads = Getting the wood off the tractor

 

Megahertz = What you get when your not careful downloading

 

Floppy disc = What you get lifting too much firewood at once

 

Chip = A bar snack

 

Modem = What you did to the lawns

 

Dot Matrix = Old Dan Matrix's wife

 

Laptop = Where the cat sleeps

 

Mouse = What eats the grain in the shed

 

Web = What spiders make

 

Cursor = The old bloke that swears a lot

 

Upgrade = A steep hill

 

Network = When you have to repair your fishing net

 

Online = When you get the laundry hung out

 

Off line = When the pegs don't hold the washing up

 

Just to even things up Jay ;)

 

 

Spot on, but can't see why its posted in Jokes though ;)

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