Wendy Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Holiday - yes, get it booked. Just do it, If it's any help, I would really recommend Exodus as a Travel Co. They are small groups, up to 16 usually. So you get loads of new experiences, plus plenty of opportunity to share the whole travel experience and hopefully make some new friends away from your previous situation. In my experience of these sorts of holidays you can make some friends for life. I have. As for your old relationship blues - keeping busy is good, but as said before - Do not overdo it - it can make it worse when on your own. Learning to adjust to life on your own is hard initially, but believe me - its great. I do now have cat company - so get another from a Rescue centre though !! As for another relationship in the future - please do not go there until you are completely over this one and feel you enjoy life again. Two years is the recognised time for getting over such events. I would also strongly consider Counselling - Relate or similar - They are there to assist in whatever form your relationship takes, including the splitting up and moving on. If by chance you got a counsellor who you did not get on with or had no respect for - don't give up - just ask for another. Finally remember - some folk are mega old in comparsion to you and those that are interested still manage to find partners, get married etc There is no rush. Most of all - Take care of yourself. Try to eat properly and allow yourself to grieve - it is ok to be hurt and cry. Cooking - if you organise yourself, sort your menu for the week, food shopping then cooking and for extra special dishes - a glass of wine ! It all can be very therapeutic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoD Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 a bit away from TT but i still dont see how people come from your situation then end up in relationships like 18 months later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Life does funny things mate. When you're least expecting it, bad stuff happens. However, when you're least expecting it then good stuff happens too 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 a bit away from TT but i still dont see how people come from your situation then end up in relationships like 18 months later What do you mean mate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoD Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 a bit away from TT but i still dont see how people come from your situation then end up in relationships like 18 months later What do you mean mate? Guess im giving my opinion from my experience of things often i see people in couples for years break up and then there with someone else all happy as larry in say 18-24 months time how the heck does this happen as it hasnt for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 a bit away from TT but i still dont see how people come from your situation then end up in relationships like 18 months later What do you mean mate? Guess im giving my opinion from my experience of things often i see people in couples for years break up and then there with someone else all happy as larry in say 18-24 months time how the heck does this happen as it hasnt for me It will you just haven't found them yet. What Dan said^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Rabbitstew. Really sorry to hear about your cat mate. People don't realise that cats are good companions and all have their own personality. Especially dog owners who think cats are just bland lifeless blank slates. But they're not. My Mclovin used to give me tons of affection and humour and quirks with his personality. Cats are amazing little things i miss my little Enzo so much he passed away a few months back in the night he was only 6 Oh man what happened to the little dude? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Stick to the Iron mate, 20kg is 20kg...it's doesn't moan or lie. It's church for us and you know it. I'm smashing the gym. Good not to worry about being back at a certain time to make dinner. I can guilt free rest 90 seconds between sets, not rush and do my 4 sets maximum effort. I'm seeing gains already. Muscle memory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 a bit away from TT but i still dont see how people come from your situation then end up in relationships like 18 months later What do you mean mate? Guess im giving my opinion from my experience of things often i see people in couples for years break up and then there with someone else all happy as larry in say 18-24 months time how the heck does this happen as it hasnt for me If history is to go by then I have a girlfriend around 6 years after a breakup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 23, 2016 Author Share Posted August 23, 2016 Still up and down almost daily. Good and bad days. The general empty feeling doesn't go away though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Still up and down almost daily. Good and bad days. I feel like that anyway & I'm supposed to be in a happy relationship. No seriously though I understand it can't be easy at all. One day at a time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 It takes a while mate, don't worry about it. Just know it will get better, it really will. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) The more I think about it now the less sad and more angry I feel. The way I was just removed from her life like a piece of rubbish. The way she waited for me to overcome the depression I was suffering from before ejecting me knowing full well I'd probably slip back into it. Not even a txt to see how I am. She feels she's well shut of me. 5 years and just discarded. I think there was another man waiting in the wings. She kept the xbox she bought me for Xmas last year despite not remotely being interested in games. She also kept all my tools. I guess so a man could use them. The way even though she knew I had recovered from depression yet still just simply wanted me out and gone and forgotten. Not even giving it a try now that I was re-invested in life and the relationship. Edited August 24, 2016 by TT350 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docwra Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Thats ........ not quite the spirit but its better than feeling sorry for yourself. Remember: shes the one thats lost out here, not you. If youre proper lucky youll meet an absolute blinder of a replacement and then see the ex out somewhere, at the least youll get the jealous eyes, at best you can tell her to do one as shes not half the girl that the one youre with now is, this should also get you near instant action with the new squeeze too, win win Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Go get your tools back. That'll make you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Go get your tools back. That'll make you feel better. ^^ That with bells on. Fine if you want to let her keep a games console but your tools!! No flipping way. That's like taking your manly hood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipar69 Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 (edited) Yeah but was it a case of "I'm keeping the tools" or did you just leave the tools? If you ask for the tools will she give them back etc? I'm gonna stick my neck out here and probably incur the displeasure of some of the more blokey blokes by saying that a) I think you're probably being paranoid and b ) anger is an incredibly pointless emotion in these sorts of circumstances. She doesn't want to be with you and being angry will just make you feel worse. We've all been dumped. It stings for a bit and then you move on. Just try and let it go. If you want your tools, ask for them. Sorry if that sounds unsympathetic but I think it needs to be said Edited August 24, 2016 by sipar69 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMANALEX Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 a) I think you're probably being paranoid and b ) anger is an incredibly pointless emotion in these sorts of circumstances. She doesn't want to be with you and being angry will just make you feel worse. We've all been dumped. It stings for a bit and then you move on. Just try and let it go. If you want your tools, ask for them. Sorry if that sounds unsympathetic but I think it needs to be said I personally think that your words are rather kind compared to what I am thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 (edited) a) I think you're probably being paranoid and b ) anger is an incredibly pointless emotion in these sorts of circumstances. She doesn't want to be with you and being angry will just make you feel worse. We've all been dumped. It stings for a bit and then you move on. Just try and let it go. If you want your tools, ask for them. Sorry if that sounds unsympathetic but I think it needs to be said I personally think that your words are rather kind compared to what I am thinking. Don't hold back. Give me your best shot Alex. If you want to give me a piece of your mind and slate me just PM me. Edited August 25, 2016 by TT350 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZMANALEX Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Don't want to slate you mate, I just wish you would get real and accept the present situation. This appears to be a chapter of your life that has just closed and is over. So please just deal with it and move on gracefully. Painful but very simple. We have all been there, and we all have our different ways of dealing with stuff like this, however opening up on an open forum is not, in my opinion the way to bring closure to your present situation. Get this thread locked, get your head into the right pace, accept that your relationship is over and move on and get a life. And most of all try and be happy. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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