TT350 Posted August 5, 2016 Author Share Posted August 5, 2016 Also sorry for the thread hijack, it just hit me as being close to what I'm going through right now. I hope you feel better soon mate. No need to be sorry. You must be feeling terrible so it's fine to find support in the forum. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 ....she told me last night she would have kicked me out if it wasn't for the holiday. She told me last night she is almost sure she is done and if she still feels this way after the holiday it's over. I'm giving it one last shot, I really love the girl and part of me believes if I can fix the fundamental things that drove her to be like this that things can still get better. Time will tell. You must really love her because honestly I wouldn't stand for that (as TT said putting pressure on you/setting ultimatums) especially with you looking after her partly financially as well as being a father to another mans child. Really wish you all the best whichever way you decide to go, ....my personal opinion of you from the chats we've had though is that you deserve to be treated better than she sounds like she's treating you now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 5, 2016 Author Share Posted August 5, 2016 Well... One way to deal with heartbreak is to keep busy. After work and gym I'm sat twiddling my fingers on the verge of tears. I used to work at a Dominos and was friends with the manager. I phoned up tonight and asked if they had any delivery jobs. They do, they remembered me and now I'm a Domino's employee again. As well as my day job. This can only be a positive. Extra couple of hundred quid a week, saving lots of money because I won't be going anywhere spending and the most immediately important thing - distraction. Between two jobs and gym, I should be a lot better off mentally, physically and financially. Half price pizza. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEADPHONES Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 (edited) Getting paid whilst enjoying a drive in the evenings listening to some tunes sounds like a plan I have visions of you being the Dominos equivalent of that French film Taxi. Tearing round Manchester People won't be getting their pizzas cold and late for sure Edited August 5, 2016 by HEADPHONES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gsexr Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 Getting paid whilst enjoying a drive in the evenings listening to some tunes sounds like a plan I have visions of you being the Dominos equivalent of that French film Taxi. Tearing round Manchester People won't be getting their pizzas cold and late for sure I pictured him on a moped... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 Getting paid whilst enjoying a drive in the evenings listening to some tunes sounds like a plan I have visions of you being the Dominos equivalent of that French film Taxi. Tearing round Manchester People won't be getting their pizzas cold and late for sure Maybe something like this.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exec Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 I'm in the same shoes as you tt, six year relationship ended this week. We had a bumpy six months but all seemed well, she had brought up splitting up on two occasions but this week was the end all. Selling the house, moving in with my mother. Cancelled the holiday. Deciding who gets to keep what. It's crap and I'm still hurting just like you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 I'm in the same shoes as you tt, six year relationship ended this week. We had a bumpy six months but all seemed well, she had brought up splitting up on two occasions but this week was the end all. Selling the house, moving in with my mother. Cancelled the holiday. Deciding who gets to keep what. It's crap and I'm still hurting just like you. My absolute sympathies mate. Terrible situation to be in. More so than mine. Strange how, while we know it's been 'a bit bumpy' we feel in general that things are OK then boom - it's over. I think women expect us to pick up on the little things and take the small niggles a lot more seriously than we do. Those socks on the floor really can end your relationship. I hope you sort out all the material things swiftly and painlessly then move on mate. Feel free to keep me updated and just chat it out as we're both in the same boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_Muxlow Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 It's not easy guys but life does go on, I know it sounds harsh and it is not meant that way at all. When me and my 1st wife split up I walked away with just my clothes and bike. As long as my children have a roof over their head I didn't want anything from her. It does work itself out in the end believe me guys mostly for the better just doesn't look like it for a while. Although I have to say it did help me lose 4 stone 😉 Sent from my iPad using a hammer and chisel... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirag1988 Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I'm sorry to hear the troubles you guys are going through on here, it's not a nice place to be, but it's good to see the forum being a place where we can all open up and talk about this kind of stuff. I was engaged to my ex at the age of 22, and due to unnecessary pressure from her parents, and no support from her whatsoever, I decided at 23, enough is enough and told her to stay at home if all she wanted was a puppet for her and her family to control. Fast forward 5 years and I'm now 4 weeks away from the biggest day of my life, to be married (Indian ceremony) to a woman who cares about me and supports me in everything I do, and vice-versa. It's never easy going through a break-up, and me and my current Mrs have had our fair share of arguments, where she's told me certain things/habits about me that annoy her, but we found that by talking about it and addressing it made us aware of what pushes the other's buttons and taught us how to be a better couple. I hope you guys manage to get to through to the light at the end of the tunnel - fastest way is in the zed 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Andy Muxlow - Yep it does always get better but the initial stages are like mental (and perhaps physical) torture. They say after a breakup you either get really fat or really thin. I'm in the thin camp. Lost a stone already. If youre like me and after a breakup you don't want to eat, then try meal replacement shakes. They work wonders to just keep your energy levels up. And you can down them in seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Chirag - Congratulations on the imminent marriage. You absolutely did the right thing with that original relationship. You do seem like a very take charge kind of guy. Very positive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_Muxlow Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Andy Muxlow - Yep it does always get better but the initial stages are like mental (and perhaps physical) torture. They say after a breakup you either get really fat or really thin. I'm in the thin camp. Lost a stone already. If youre like me and after a breakup you don't want to eat, then try meal replacement shakes. They work wonders to just keep your energy levels up. And you can down them in seconds. I have however put 2 st back on since. Sent from my iPhone using hammer and chisel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 I'm in the same shoes as you tt, six year relationship ended this week. We had a bumpy six months but all seemed well, she had brought up splitting up on two occasions but this week was the end all. Selling the house, moving in with my mother. Cancelled the holiday. Deciding who gets to keep what. It's crap and I'm still hurting just like you. Sorry to read that Exec. I don't think there is anything that can be said to make you feel any better but I just hope your pain doesn't last too long and you're able to deal with it & move on when you're ready. All the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodyboarder81 Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 (edited) Just reading through this thread and say keep your chin up and you're doing completely the right thing by keep busy . Bit different but lost my dad around 2 years ago and basically needed a way of keep my mind occupied ( other than work/family ) so was one of the reasons I supercharged my zed !! Kept me busy in the evenings and my mind would often wonder off into thinking about it .... To be fair it worked pretty well ! I have a lot of respect for many people on here who I have never met and probably never will due to the threads like this . It shows that it's more than just a car forum . When I'm feeling a bit down ( we all do from time to time !) just look around at the beautiful things we take for granted in this country, simple things like the sun sets , beaches , landscape and relative freedom ! This always brings me down to ground level and really appreciate what I have got . Edited August 6, 2016 by Bodyboarder81 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian@TORQEN Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=309593409384813&id=18468761129 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock_Steady Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 i think you did the right thing. You're still young, and now foot loose and fancy free. One door closes another one opens. Live for today and forget about yesterday, tomorrow will eventually be a brighter day. And, without thinking about it or looking , someone suddenly appears. Chin up fella and roll with the punches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shad0wca7 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Sorry to hear this, I feel bad for you and your situation but it's great to see the outpouring of support on here. In my mind you did the right thing - never let your love for someone compromise your respect for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 8, 2016 Author Share Posted August 8, 2016 Oh guys. I'm really rock bottom with all this. So much is going on/wrong and all I want is her care and compassion and love and hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bockaaarck Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Oh guys. I'm really rock bottom with all this. So much is going on/wrong and all I want is her care and compassion and love and hugs. Please keep coming on to this thread and talking to us, let us know how you are, how you're feeling (as above). I think that is really important, many of us have been through similar circumstances. There is support and willing / listening ears here. This situation is very tough for you, I think we can see you're doing your best to manage and handle things. Please remember, you are a valuable and worthy person and people care for you. Despite how you feel now, how tough things are. You will come through this. There will be an evolution of your feelings, emotions, fears and concerns. It will not happen overnight, but it will happen. Believe me and trust me, you will come through this in a positive way, stronger and more complete, things will work through. I continue to be amazed by your resilience, your compassion and your openness. That does you so much credit, I've huge respect for how you continue to post with thought and consideration. Such an approach speaks volumes for your self respect as well as for your respect, love and compassion for yourself and others. Keep visiting, keep posting, we are here to listen, to help and advise where we can. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colesl4w Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 What I have found in the past is that during a breakup it's really easy to suffer from the 'halo effect', in which you ignore all of her negatives and only focus on the good times you had. It can be helpful to remember the times she was a b.. to you for no reason, the pointless arguments she might have started at some point etc. Then you'll remember she wasn't some sort of perfection you can't do without, and that you can do better in the future. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 9, 2016 Author Share Posted August 9, 2016 Oh guys. I'm really rock bottom with all this. So much is going on/wrong and all I want is her care and compassion and love and hugs. Please keep coming on to this thread and talking to us, let us know how you are, how you're feeling (as above). I think that is really important, many of us have been through similar circumstances. There is support and willing / listening ears here. This situation is very tough for you, I think we can see you're doing your best to manage and handle things. Please remember, you are a valuable and worthy person and people care for you. Despite how you feel now, how tough things are. You will come through this. There will be an evolution of your feelings, emotions, fears and concerns. It will not happen overnight, but it will happen. Believe me and trust me, you will come through this in a positive way, stronger and more complete, things will work through. I continue to be amazed by your resilience, your compassion and your openness. That does you so much credit, I've huge respect for how you continue to post with thought and consideration. Such an approach speaks volumes for your self respect as well as for your respect, love and compassion for yourself and others. Keep visiting, keep posting, we are here to listen, to help and advise where we can. A very nice and thoughtful post. Full of insight. Thankyou 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted August 9, 2016 Author Share Posted August 9, 2016 What I have found in the past is that during a breakup it's really easy to suffer from the 'halo effect', in which you ignore all of her negatives and only focus on the good times you had. It can be helpful to remember the times she was a b.. to you for no reason, the pointless arguments she might have started at some point etc. Then you'll remember she wasn't some sort of perfection you can't do without, and that you can do better in the future. Well she did moan a lot and I did give up all the little things I loved doing. Gym especially. I do though think the good far outweighed the bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirag1988 Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Chirag - Congratulations on the imminent marriage. You absolutely did the right thing with that original relationship. You do seem like a very take charge kind of guy. Very positive. Thanks Gareth. I've had my ups and downs and used to have anger issues (I think we all do to some degree) and it used to cause a lot of problem between me and my family as well. The ex just added to mix and probably made it worse because of all the pointless arguments we used to have. You're doing absolutely the right thing. Keep yourself occupied, making a bit of extra cash on the side, and focusing on yourself now rather than chasing something that was dragging you down. It's good that you can come here to vent and channel your thoughts rather than keeping it bottled up. Hope you keep on moving in the right direction mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 I think most of what I'd say has been said but honestly when I hear some of you talk it's abundantly clear you're not in the right relationships. EVERYONE argues. If you live with your best mate you'll end up pecking each others heads but it's about the bite and the bile. It took me until 31 and 2 very serious relationships to find the right girl......you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelette. Keep occupied but I'm warning you keep chilled. Do not spend all of your days at 100mph otherwise you'll burn out. Sent from my SM-G925F using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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