Kids

[Flex]

Following on from TT's thread and comments made.....

 

So nearly all of our friends are having/had kids now and me & the Mrs are like, sh1t, is there something wrong with us for not having them.

 

I understand the love thing and that you'll never love anyone like your own kids yada yada.

 

I teach kids at Tae Kwondo and I enjoy it, sometimes it's frustrating but to see them achieve stuff is rewarding. It's also nice that they go home at the end of class

 

 

People must have kids and think, christ what have I done, right? Or is that not the PC thing to admit to?

 

Is it for some people, and no offence to anyone, just they feel they have to? That they've run out of achievements in life?

 

I'm just starting to now question myself and think is there something wrong with me for not wanting kids.

 

Everyone who has them are all like the walking dead.

Edited March 24, 2016 by Flex

[gangzoom]

^ There is no need for anyone to have kids. The world population is exploding as it is.

 

We're having one sprog because I'm rather interested in the outcome of what happens when me and my wife's DNA mix it up.

 

The love thing is inherent programming most people have, evolution has seen to that. Don't feel pressurised to have kids for the sake of other people, ask you self do you enjoy:

 

1: Spending £800-1k/month on childcare

2: Been woken up every 2 hrs by a screaming baby

3: Cleaning up vomit/poo etc

4: Not been able to go out because of the need to plan child care

 

The list goes on....I'm excited about the imminent arrival of our child (cannot help it, it's what my brain has been pre-programmed to do), I'm not so excited by all of the above but haven't got much choice now but to suck it up and get on with it!!

Edited March 23, 2016 by gangzoom

[Flex]

Only point 3 bit of a fetish.

[mouthwash]

I don't want kids and can't imagine having them, that and I'd be a terrible father.

 

I have no idea why people would want to devote all of their time and money to continue their legacy, I'll enjoy my legacy while I'm here thanks. When I'm dead, I won't give two funks if I had kids or not.

[BobbyZ]

I'm not particularly pro kids (or relationships for that matter). IMO, if you have them, make sure you have them for the right reason - that you want to love and care for a life that you've brought into the world.

 

For sure, 'everyone else is having them' is a terrible reason.

[coldel]

Its completely up to you if you want kids or not, I have a 4 year old and would not hold it against anyone who has decided not to have kids. Problem is that you get people saying 'time for a kid isnt it' then once you have one they say 'time for another they need a brother or sister' - we are stopping at one and we are happy at that to put our efforts into our one happy little lad.

 

Your list above GZ, I don't like any of that either, but I wouldn't have let that stop me having a child when I finally felt ready. I am sure there are many jobs on our cars we hate and despise but didn't stop us buying the thing and keeping it

[Flex]

I dont think anyone could talk me into procreation it's just you do start to question yourself after a while.

[Ekona]

Not yet. But one day.

[gangzoom]

I dont think anyone could talk me into procreation it's just you do start to question yourself after a while.

 

Naa forget what other people might think, do what you want. If you don't want kids it's no one else's problem.

 

 

[Bockaaarck]

No, there is nothing wrong with you, or indeed your better half. Some people want to have children and some don't, that's just the way of things.

 

My partner and I have been together 16 years and love children, they're fantastic. However; we just don't want any of our own. We have interests, passions and plans which, for us, we want to focus on fully.

 

We have family and friends who have kids and we think the world of them. Enjoy playing with them, spending time with them and watching them grow.

 

For us and the way we live our lives, not having children has given us a lot of freedom. We enjoy that and have made the most of it. Are we missing out, not having that experience of bringing children in to the world?

 

No doubt we are in some respects, but then for us, we feel you don't miss what you haven't got. What I know we would miss. Is the freedom to have made the most of the opportunities we've had over the last 10-15 years.

 

Love children, but don't want any of our own

[Husky]

Plenty of people I know are in great relationships and don't want kids, maybe they will change their minds later, maybe not. I don't think it's a particularly negative thing in terms of the relationship though, if you're happy then continue being happy For the sake of the human race however, it's your duty to reproduce to water down the rampant spread of morons! ^{(Unless you are one...)}

[Lexx]

I have lots of kids.

I'm willing to sell at least 2 of them if anyone wants to save themselves the trauma of the first 6 months (or 3 years if it's my boys ).

[Wayne370Z]

If you or the missus doesn't desperately want kids then it`s an easy decision, don`t have them. Life is much better and more fun being able to do all the things that you enjoy without the constraints imposed by having children. I was never really bothered about having them but wives 1 and 2 wanted them so I ended up with 3 and much as I may love them now I still feel I could quite happily have gone though life without ever having any.

[rabbitstew]

Kids are good and bad.

 

Initially its hard work. You get up every 2 hours in the night to change a screaming babies nappy & feed them when they are a baby so you have hardly any sleep then have to go to work the next day. 50% of the time after feeding they will they chuck their guts up over you. Then when they arnt doing any of that they just sleep - so it gives you plenty of time to get on with jobs around the house or just pass out with exhaustion.

 

You will face the most horrendous poo & sick ever and it goes everywhere.

 

Then, once they get about 12->18 months old it all changes. Sure they still create horrendous poo`s and occasionally sick everywhere, but they become their own little characters so you do get something back and they start to become fun. When they start to talk it gets even better, but then you have the mad temper tantrums and screaming/shouting if they dont get their way etc so it kind of evens out.

 

As others have said, you cant go on holiday or out for a night with your mates or anything without either without getting permission from the other half that shes okay looking after the kid, or arranging babysitters. Mealtimes are out of the window as you just cant sit and eat with a kid, as they will throw food around and once finished will just want to run off and play. So you end up hoovering your dinner down as quick as can be ready to end up chasing after them in a pub/restaurant. If you do get a holiday, then you end up not being able to walk around far as kids get tired, plus when its 6pm the kid is off to bed and your stuck in your holiday room watching X Factor as you cant leave the kid alone & go for a drink.

 

When you do get a rare night alone, with the kid packed off to your folks for the night, you end up catching up on housework then so tired you just go to bed early.

 

Also, dont forget to factor in, once your missus gets knocked up that means no action ever again. Apparently you cant do it once pregnant "in case it hurts the baby", then once its here she wont be in the mood and/or too tired after a busy day watching telly/eating cakes/sleeping. Once all is recovered and baby is virtually off to school she still wont want to do it as she doesnt like how she looks after putting on 6 stone of "baby weight".

 

Someone else mentioned the cost. I think I worked out it was £1500 a year just on baby formula, I dread to think how many thousands on clothes, toys. The nursery furniture alone must have cost £1200. Plus then you have £600 per child per month for a childkeeper/nursery. Thats more than my mortgage.

 

That all said, you do get to have some really fun moments with a kid and get to play with all their toys. It can help destress you and take your mind off all the bigger worries in life.

 

I really dont know though how people have more than 1. I struggle to cope looking after just one, so god knows how people cope with 4 or 5.

[Flex]

Brilliant, there was a couple of LOL moments in there!

[Wayne370Z]

Kids are good and bad.

 

Initially its hard work. You get up every 2 hours in the night to change a screaming babies nappy & feed them when they are a baby so you have hardly any sleep then have to go to work the next day. 50% of the time after feeding they will they chuck their guts up over you. Then when they arnt doing any of that they just sleep - so it gives you plenty of time to get on with jobs around the house or just pass out with exhaustion.

 

You will face the most horrendous poo & sick ever and it goes everywhere.

 

Then, once they get about 12->18 months old it all changes. Sure they still create horrendous poo`s and occasionally sick everywhere, but they become their own little characters so you do get something back and they start to become fun. When they start to talk it gets even better, but then you have the mad temper tantrums and screaming/shouting if they dont get their way etc so it kind of evens out.

 

As others have said, you cant go on holiday or out for a night with your mates or anything without either without getting permission from the other half that shes okay looking after the kid, or arranging babysitters. Mealtimes are out of the window as you just cant sit and eat with a kid, as they will throw food around and once finished will just want to run off and play. So you end up hoovering your dinner down as quick as can be ready to end up chasing after them in a pub/restaurant. If you do get a holiday, then you end up not being able to walk around far as kids get tired, plus when its 6pm the kid is off to bed and your stuck in your holiday room watching X Factor as you cant leave the kid alone & go for a drink.

 

When you do get a rare night alone, with the kid packed off to your folks for the night, you end up catching up on housework then so tired you just go to bed early.

 

Also, dont forget to factor in, once your missus gets knocked up that means no action ever again. Apparently you cant do it once pregnant "in case it hurts the baby", then once its here she wont be in the mood and/or too tired after a busy day watching telly/eating cakes/sleeping. Once all is recovered and baby is virtually off to school she still wont want to do it as she doesnt like how she looks after putting on 6 stone of "baby weight".

 

Someone else mentioned the cost. I think I worked out it was £1500 a year just on baby formula, I dread to think how many thousands on clothes, toys. The nursery furniture alone must have cost £1200. Plus then you have £600 per child per month for a childkeeper/nursery. Thats more than my mortgage.

 

That all said, you do get to have some really fun moments with a kid and get to play with all their toys. It can help destress you and take your mind off all the bigger worries in life.

 

I really dont know though how people have more than 1. I struggle to cope looking after just one, so god knows how people cope with 4 or 5.

And then later on, as if it hasn`t been bad enough so far, they change into teenagers ....

[GappySmeg]

There's too much social pressure to have kids... seems if you hit mid/late 30's and still haven't sprogged, you are some sort of weirdo.

 

Me and my misses were first amongst our friendship groups to have kids. We'd both always said we wanted 2 kids, and approaching mid 30's decided we couldn't leave it any later.

Lo and behold, within a year or 2 all our coupled-up friends decided they ought to do the same when quite frankly, most of them have never talked about having kids, didn't (and don't) seem to have any appreciation for the effort involved and massively begrudging of their lost social lives.

 

Point is, there is nothing wrong in deciding it's not for you... too many people have kids because they feel that's just what they ought to do!

[kbad]

Regarding kid - life is all about choices if you decide to have kid then be prepared to love & sacrifice for the child and not belly ache / moan / complain mid way through the journey.

On the other hand if you decide against having children its perfectly aright as long as you dot grumble about missed opportunities down the line of your lifespan.

 

Either position is good as long as decisions are made with eyes wide open with no extrinsic pressures influencing the choices made

 

Hope this makes sense - comment/ thoughts welcome

[Kraziekatz1]

FFS......didn't I say this would happen! You let them have a PET thread, next thing a blimin' thread about kids. C'mon, I come on here to escape the real world.

 

Anyone posts a baby photo and I'm leaving for good!!!!!

[gangzoom]

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/feb/16/cost-of-raising-children-in-uk-higher-than-ever

 

Doesn't include private school fees. You can buy your self any number of super cars you wish instead of having a sprog.

[Kraziekatz1]

Kids are good and bad.

 

Initially its hard work. You get up every 2 hours in the night to change a screaming babies nappy & feed them when they are a baby so you have hardly any sleep then have to go to work the next day. 50% of the time after feeding they will they chuck their guts up over you. Then when they arnt doing any of that they just sleep - so it gives you plenty of time to get on with jobs around the house or just pass out with exhaustion.

 

You will face the most horrendous poo & sick ever and it goes everywhere.

 

Then, once they get about 12->18 months old it all changes. Sure they still create horrendous poo`s and occasionally sick everywhere, but they become their own little characters so you do get something back and they start to become fun. When they start to talk it gets even better, but then you have the mad temper tantrums and screaming/shouting if they dont get their way etc so it kind of evens out.

 

As others have said, you cant go on holiday or out for a night with your mates or anything without either without getting permission from the other half that shes okay looking after the kid, or arranging babysitters. Mealtimes are out of the window as you just cant sit and eat with a kid, as they will throw food around and once finished will just want to run off and play. So you end up hoovering your dinner down as quick as can be ready to end up chasing after them in a pub/restaurant. If you do get a holiday, then you end up not being able to walk around far as kids get tired, plus when its 6pm the kid is off to bed and your stuck in your holiday room watching X Factor as you cant leave the kid alone & go for a drink.

 

When you do get a rare night alone, with the kid packed off to your folks for the night, you end up catching up on housework then so tired you just go to bed early.

 

Also, dont forget to factor in, once your missus gets knocked up that means no action ever again. Apparently you cant do it once pregnant "in case it hurts the baby", then once its here she wont be in the mood and/or too tired after a busy day watching telly/eating cakes/sleeping. Once all is recovered and baby is virtually off to school she still wont want to do it as she doesnt like how she looks after putting on 6 stone of "baby weight".

 

Someone else mentioned the cost. I think I worked out it was £1500 a year just on baby formula, I dread to think how many thousands on clothes, toys. The nursery furniture alone must have cost £1200. Plus then you have £600 per child per month for a childkeeper/nursery. Thats more than my mortgage.

 

That all said, you do get to have some really fun moments with a kid and get to play with all their toys. It can help destress you and take your mind off all the bigger worries in life.

 

I really dont know though how people have more than 1. I struggle to cope looking after just one, so god knows how people cope with 4 or 5.

Are you a stand-up comedian....there's elements of Jack Dee in there

[rabbitstew]

http://www.theguardi...igher-than-ever

 

Doesn't include private school fees. You can buy your self any number of super cars you wish instead of having a sprog.

 

Thats very true. One of my mates decided to "invest" his entire life savings sending his kid to private school from day 1. Of course, that means nursery, preschool, primary school, secondary school, college/6th form, then uni... then probably further uni study etc. all costing a fortune. The way he figures is, his son will have the best start in life and should be "guaranteed" a decent job at the end of it, and so by then can afford to look after his skint parents.

Edited March 23, 2016 by rabbitstew

[Toon Chris]

No, just No.

They smell

They blame you for everything until at least the age of 30.

They are ungrateful

They smell.

Edited March 23, 2016 by Toon Chris

[Ekona]

I'm 36 and I'm still blaming my parents for stuff.

[Toon Chris]

30 is the lower limit. There is no upper limit.

 

Out of interest, do you still smell?

Edited March 23, 2016 by Toon Chris