Do any of you know a lady who sneezes a lot ?

[Zummertor]

Was going to leave the next one until tomorrow, rationing and as is already pointed out a lot of these are old, but as I couldn't find them I thought I'd share them. Anyway ...

 

 

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.

 

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose and then shuddered quite violently for 10 or 15 seconds.

 

The man went back to his reading.

 

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered quite violently as before.

 

The man was becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

 

A few more minutes passed and the woman sneezed one more time.

 

Again she took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered violently.

 

The man couldn't restrain his curiosity.

 

He turned to the woman and said, "You've sneezed three times,wiped your nose with a tissue, then shuddered violently!

 

Are you all right?"

 

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied, "I have a rare condition; when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

 

The man was a little embarrassed but even more curious and said, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

 

The woman looked at him and said, "Pepper."

[lomoto]

The old ones are not necessarily the best ones

[P15UL T]

what he said

[jim]

The old ones are not necessarily the best ones

 

lol

[Zummertor]

Old ones not always the best ones - oh so true

 

However it does present a problem for posting in general and jokes in particular For example I have access to an accumulated 50,000 + jokes and funny clips not including links to youtube, twango etc., now if we assume we all do because we use the internet and will having been emailing friends / colleagues for sometime then posting a new joke or comment it is going to be hard, especially when you collect them as a group. What more can be said about Tyres for 350Z ? (oh how little I know and may live to regret that one )

 

Obviously various jokes follow themes and repeats, take for example a joke I came across last year about a white Englishman, a black African and an even whiter Welshman (it being more cloudy there) in a maternity unit all waiting news, this joke of course is heading down to a dangerous area, not only is someone going to be insulted but someone is about to have children, but what is the twist in the joke ?

 

It then needs to be combined with the "good news" "bad news" tactic.

 

"Good news says the midwife/nurse person, all the babies are born healthy and the mums are doing great, but we have bad news we need your help, there has been a mix-up with the babies and we need you to identify whose is each of yours"

 

Now do I post what happens or is it too old ? am I too old ? Will someone already have heard it, seen it or had communication about it in some other form? Does anyone care ?

 

Obviously you can substitute many different nationalities but probably not Norwegian, Swedish and Finnish all together.

 

I'll take a risk.

 

The Englishman rushes into the ward and promptly and proudly stands next to the black baby declaring "this is my child, no doubt about it".

 

The black African is obviously confused and says to the English guy "what are you doing?" , he gets the response in a whisper "hey, listen one of those 2 white babies is Welsh and I'm not taking any chances".

 

IMO - this is all said with good intentions with no offence intended old or otherwise, and further more IMO - it is humour, maybe not good and maybe old but I don't think it is mentioned in this Forum however I have to confess I've not checked any other members joke libraries or memories.

 

So in continued good humour and the words or another old joke "Tray up"