Women speaking out of turn ! - and they admit it

[Zummertor]

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the

words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Like saying you'll check for duplicate jokes and then post one

 

Here are the

testimonials of a few women who did....

 

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and

asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I

turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

 

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for

several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen

who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

 

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the

boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm

just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

 

4. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My

three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was

on him constantly. One day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch

in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While

enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my

seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an

accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,

are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just

KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting

worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an

accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and

spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30

people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled

up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by

thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

 

5. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a

very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely

think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't

get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day

after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the

weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me

last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew

did too they were laughing so hard!

[Liam's Z]

Ha Ha, I never have that problem

[Sarnie]

[Emperor Ming]

Dont often laugh out loud at written jokes but they are priceless.

Still giggling now.

Ming the happy

[ir_fuel]

The last one is priceless