Quinster Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Guy in my work claimed he got a 130mph car chase (in an old vectra) from the cops on a country road coming to work one morning. He eventually pulled over (as he was getting bored). When the cops approached the car they said " You should apply for the traffic cops the way you drive, you'd be perfect for the job" Yeah , Yeah replied Davie I'm going to be late for work he said, so they gave him a police escort all the way there. He's got a new story every time you meet him, I just agree and look amazed, he thinks i believe him. He said last week his mate and him went to Vegas and his mate won £200.000 and offered to split it with him, but Dave declined as "that's just the way i roll" Guy's a complete Banger. lol 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PPod Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Theres one in every work place....i think people generally refer to them as tossers. ^^ This is true. We've one in our work place. He's the cleaner but "apparently" he's a genius, just doing the cleaning job as the hours suit him & he doesn't need the money, ...all the women want him as well "apparently". Grade A bul*sh**ting to**er. Is his name matt Damon? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kraziekatz1 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 He's really annoying. New guy. I was talking to him about cars and basically he's had Ferraris, Porsches, Aston Martins etc. But now prefers the bus. I got to telling him about my Z and what I'd had done to it etc and he's like "why? Waste of money. Won't make it any faster. If it could be faster the manufacturers would have made it like that". I'm like, it's very much faster. And he's like "Nah. You just think it is. Placebo effect" My boobies. He does them in. Definitely got one of these guys at my work I call him Billy..... Worse thing is, he's soon to be my boss hence the reason I'm contemplating a career change! I have absolutely no respect for the guy! Wow, those placebo effects are blimin' good.....I have 2 cars fitted with them Is he 5 yrs old? As my son has a Ferrari, Porsche, Aston, Lambo, even has last years RedBull F1 car.....but he enjoys going on the bus also Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAMLNJ Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 You could have a play and ask him some questions only owners of ferraris would know. Make him slip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilogikal1 Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 You could have a play and ask him some questions only owners of ferraris would know. Make him slip! He would have to own a Ferrari himself for that though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ioneabee Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Theres one in every work place....i think people generally refer to them as tossers. ^^ This is true. We've one in our work place. He's the cleaner but "apparently" he's a genius, just doing the cleaning job as the hours suit him & he doesn't need the money, ...all the women want him as well "apparently". Grade A bul*sh**ting to**er. Is his name matt Damon? lol nah - WW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Trouser Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 (edited) Just let it go. He's obviously done with cars and moved on. Why bother trying to get him to agree with your views on cars? 1 upmanship perhaps? Edited October 4, 2015 by The Trouser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docwra Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Also know as a black catter - if you've got a black cat his one is even blacker. The incredible thing with this is that I actually once had a black catter trying to tell me their cat was actual blacker than mine in real life, irony or what? I have a similr issue with a mate, I love the guy but in the last couple of months hes told me his car is as quick as mine, and that he can take a certain corner (off the M11 onto A11 if youre interested) faster than I could in my very wide wheeled 350Z, a GTR or a Carrera 4S. He has an Astra VXR 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 has he shown you pics of his cars? If not then he's a bullshitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tricky-Ricky Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 His name is not jack by any chance, is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S7nny Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I've just got back from my trip to one of Saturn's moons where my girlfriend Megan Fox was taking part in a Miss Universe contest. She told all the other contestants about my massive donger so I ended up having to sleep with them all and now I've contracted an alien STD in the form of superhuman strength. It was pretty handy really because I was then able to lift the wreckage off a burning children's hospital that was connected to an animal sanctuary. Everyone there asked me to become the Supreme Emperor but I turned it down cos' that's how I roll. Anyway, that's why it's taken me so long to comment on this thread, but I reckon that guy is full of @*!#. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Theres one in every work place....i think people generally refer to them as tossers. ^^ This is true. We've one in our work place. He's the cleaner but "apparently" he's a genius, just doing the cleaning job as the hours suit him & he doesn't need the money, ...all the women want him as well "apparently". Grade A bul*sh**ting to**er. Is his name matt Damon? lol To start with I thought that said my name, literally was about to throw a fit Teaches me to skim read 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Ask him if he wants a bare knuckle fight! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Theres one in every work place....i think people generally refer to them as tossers. ^^ This is true. We've one in our work place. He's the cleaner but "apparently" he's a genius, just doing the cleaning job as the hours suit him & he doesn't need the money, ...all the women want him as well "apparently". Grade A bul*sh**ting to**er. Is his name matt Damon? lol To start with I thought that said my name, literally was about to throw a fit Teaches me to skim read Lol I've only just realised that Aliveboy and Matt Dedman are the same person! Stoopid being friends of multiple amounts of media! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Theres one in every work place....i think people generally refer to them as tossers. ^^ This is true. We've one in our work place. He's the cleaner but "apparently" he's a genius, just doing the cleaning job as the hours suit him & he doesn't need the money, ...all the women want him as well "apparently". Grade A bul*sh**ting to**er. Is his name matt Damon? lol To start with I thought that said my name, literally was about to throw a fit Teaches me to skim read Lol I've only just realised that Aliveboy and Matt Dedman are the same person! Stoopid being friends of multiple amounts of media! Sorry about that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Guy in my work claimed he got a 130mph car chase (in an old vectra) from the cops on a country road coming to work one morning. He eventually pulled over (as he was getting bored). When the cops approached the car they said " You should apply for the traffic cops the way you drive, you'd be perfect for the job" Yeah , Yeah replied Davie I'm going to be late for work he said, so they gave him a police escort all the way there. He's got a new story every time you meet him, I just agree and look amazed, he thinks i believe him. He said last week his mate and him went to Vegas and his mate won £200.000 and offered to split it with him, but Dave declined as "that's just the way i roll" Guy's a complete Banger. lol I have read this three times now and each time I still laugh out loud - whatever you do don't dent this guys enthusiasm for talking horses crap it must be brilliant entertainment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) Notice how people are trying to 1 up the 1 upping level of colleagues?! edit: spelling Edited October 6, 2015 by AliveBoy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Guy in my work claimed he got a 130mph car chase (in an old vectra) from the cops on a country road coming to work one morning. He eventually pulled over (as he was getting bored). When the cops approached the car they said " You should apply for the traffic cops the way you drive, you'd be perfect for the job" Yeah , Yeah replied Davie I'm going to be late for work he said, so they gave him a police escort all the way there. He's got a new story every time you meet him, I just agree and look amazed, he thinks i believe him. He said last week his mate and him went to Vegas and his mate won £200.000 and offered to split it with him, but Dave declined as "that's just the way i roll" Guy's a complete Banger. lol I have read this three times now and each time I still laugh out loud - whatever you do don't dent this guys enthusiasm for talking horses crap it must be brilliant entertainment. I was pulled by the police once, I had been speeding but because they were up my backside with bright headlights on. I didnt realise they were cops until they pulled me over. They did actually ask me if I'd been on an advanced driving course as they struggled to catch up lol. They also breath tested me, and they said I'd broken the machine which I thought meant I'd failed the test. But they said it had been playing up all night. Then they sent me on my way and after about 2 hours my heart rate returned to normal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommoger Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Guy in my work claimed he got a 130mph car chase (in an old vectra) from the cops on a country road coming to work one morning. He eventually pulled over (as he was getting bored). When the cops approached the car they said " You should apply for the traffic cops the way you drive, you'd be perfect for the job" Yeah , Yeah replied Davie I'm going to be late for work he said, so they gave him a police escort all the way there. He's got a new story every time you meet him, I just agree and look amazed, he thinks i believe him. He said last week his mate and him went to Vegas and his mate won £200.000 and offered to split it with him, but Dave declined as "that's just the way i roll" Guy's a complete Banger. lol I have read this three times now and each time I still laugh out loud - whatever you do don't dent this guys enthusiasm for talking horses crap it must be brilliant entertainment. I was pulled by the police once, I had been speeding but because they were up my backside with bright headlights on. I didnt realise they were cops until they pulled me over. They did actually ask me if I'd been on an advanced driving course as they struggled to catch up lol. They also breath tested me, and they said I'd broken the machine which I thought meant I'd failed the test. But they said it had been playing up all night. Then they sent me on my way and after about 2 hours my heart rate returned to normal. Cop: "Sir do you know why I pulled you over?" Driver: "Because I let you" Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Guy in my work claimed he got a 130mph car chase (in an old vectra) from the cops on a country road coming to work one morning. He eventually pulled over (as he was getting bored). When the cops approached the car they said " You should apply for the traffic cops the way you drive, you'd be perfect for the job" Yeah , Yeah replied Davie I'm going to be late for work he said, so they gave him a police escort all the way there. He's got a new story every time you meet him, I just agree and look amazed, he thinks i believe him. He said last week his mate and him went to Vegas and his mate won £200.000 and offered to split it with him, but Dave declined as "that's just the way i roll" Guy's a complete Banger. lol I have read this three times now and each time I still laugh out loud - whatever you do don't dent this guys enthusiasm for talking horses crap it must be brilliant entertainment. I was pulled by the police once, I had been speeding but because they were up my backside with bright headlights on. I didnt realise they were cops until they pulled me over. They did actually ask me if I'd been on an advanced driving course as they struggled to catch up lol. They also breath tested me, and they said I'd broken the machine which I thought meant I'd failed the test. But they said it had been playing up all night. Then they sent me on my way and after about 2 hours my heart rate returned to normal. Cop: "Sir do you know why I pulled you over?" Driver: "Because I let you" Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Haha, that would have been an epic response if I'd had the balls at the time!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kraziekatz1 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 ......I just sat in the back of the police car crying, didn't help none. Perhaps I should have tried that line, not sure between them they owned a sense of humour though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I tried humour with the police, once, lol. After being pulled up and lots of questions, he said, are you known to Bournemouth Police sir, i replied, Yes, he got quite animated and if i had given them a false name etc, after a little back and forth he said, so for what reason are you known to Bournemouth Police, i said "i have a couple of mates that work there....... 3 points and £60 fine 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Sorry guys - been away saving a galaxy far far away from this geeza "Lord Globadon". Anyway rolled up to the planet and he starts giving it all that so I pistol whipped him then had to sort out all the poverty and famine and disease. Back now though in my yaris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 All is good then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 All is good then Yeah sorted it all out. Another job done right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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