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A man walked into a doctor’s office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his right ear, and a banana in his left ear.

“What’s wrong with me Doc?†he asked.

The doctor took one glance and pronounced, “You’re not eating properly!â€

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  • 9 months later...

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his p*nis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.â€

The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.â€

The doctor answers, “I’m sorry, there's no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your p*nis.â€

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!â€

The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option.â€

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his p*nis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.â€

The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my p*nis..!â€

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate..!â€

“Oh, thank God..!†the man exclaims.

“Yes,†says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Fall off by itself..!â€

Edited by MikeyM
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