Brave men!!!

[Andy]

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??

The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of

perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says:

"You're next, fatty."

 

 

 

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is

lying in bed reading.

Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."

Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

 

 

 

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He Asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes

there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the

bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she

asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how

you live on £800 a year".

 

 

 

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

 

* 2 litres of low fat milk

* a dozen eggs

* 2 litres of orange juice

* a head of lettuce

* half a dozen tomatoes

* a 500g jar of coffee

* a 250g pack of bacon

 

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out,

A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in Front

of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the

drunk calmly stated," You must be single."

 

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was

intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly

unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her

marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you

know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're a f #**in ugly bitch"