1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel.
2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire!
3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack.
4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth.
5) I shave with a bowie knife.
6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off!
7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste!
8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete.
9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer
10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe
11}I am ians cats best customer
12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees
13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks
14}I brush my teeth with a wire brush