Sealant around the seals is not a good plan.
You should be looking to find the root cause and not carrying out a bodge.
The warping is not pretty, but with a good ribbed gasket and proper sealant then I would not expect an external oil leak, however, best to replace them.
If a customer of mine returned these to me, my initial reaction would be that they have been overtorqued and possibly also the tightening procedure may not have been followed, however, as a good will gesture, I would replace them this one time free of charge.
It concerns me more that you are having persistent oil entering the spark plug tube apertures, which has got to be more than just a coincidence, which leads me to come to the conclusion that if the seals are good and the tubes are good and all things being equal, then you may have an internal crack on the cyl head/heads, which I have seen on a few occasions.
Might be time to pull those heads and get them to a machine shop.
Nothing more to add than to wish you Good Luck.