Well I wouldn’t get a diesel if it’s replacing a fun car, for a start.
Tbh I’m not sure I’d look past a BMW either, plenty of choice there. Without judging, ignore the 4wd thing as if you’re driving that hard to get the back out with a kid in the car, you’re driving way too fast.
Audis are nicer places to be and I prefer the styling, but they don’t drive anywhere near as well. Personally I would consider splitting the budget, £10k on a boring family car (520d F11 is my current one) and then £17k on something fun, that way you get the best of both worlds?
Considered a 6er? Big car but very plush and they can be hustled, cheap too now the 8er is out.