We get out more than we pay in, it's just not a direct figure. Col has made that point time and time again in this thread, in the most eloquent way I've seen anywhere on the internets.
As I said earlier, any extra money we may or may not get from leaving wouldn't go towards anything other than paying off our debts. NHS, roads, education etc won't see a penny.
And you do realise that we get the same thing from the countries you mention as we do from the EU, in terms of money in to money out? We pay them £10Bn in aid (or whatever the figure is), they then make sure their companies place orders in the UK for the value of £20Bn. That's how the world works, so if we stopped all that aid then we'd be stuffing ourselves.
Politics has changed so much these days, we'll never see another Thatcher or Churchill again. You talk about a strong leader, well I'd argue the closest to that anywhere right now in the developed world would be Trump if he gets in: Is that what you want? Politics is far more subtle, you can't just bowl in and demand everything without making concessions. It's naive to think otherwise.